Yeah, I got some advice...EYES ON THE ROAD, BONEHEAD!
Yeah, I got some advice...
Some good images from Joe Kubert in this month's PS Magazine!






The happy, scythe-wielding bunny I saw on the side of a delivery truck a few years ago is truly terrifying, but in a manner different than the serial killer offered by the postmodernbarney-meister.
In 1987 the talented artist Luis Royo supplied this wrap around cover art for Chris Claremont's verbose alien contact science fiction novel First Flight.
nothing at all wrong with it. An artist can sell his portfolio wherever and whenever he wants.
Previous frugal covers: On The Spot and Dell's monster anthology.
Uh-oh! A Nazi gets hold of Easy Company's puppy in the recent Sgt. Rock: The Prophecy #3!
As proof of Kubert's dog-hate check this related post from the caveman days of my blog: Luck Is A Puppy Named ..Oops!.
Okay, this news article about the FBI dropping the ball before 9/11 irks me so much I may vote in the next elections just to help kick out of office every bonehead who was a part of the rampant culture of incompetence that existed. Oh, some people were not directly associated with the system that allowed such a failure? Too bad, bunkie. You were an active part of the system as a whole and you didn't fix it. You had your chance. Maybe the next guy won't sit on his thumbs. I'm a firm believer that any large industrialized country, for example: America, has the resources to fix their problems (like porous borders) if they really want to. If they don't, then someone is taking steps to ensure that a given situation stays a problem. The only reason why any country allows billions per year in insurance fraud is because someone is getting rich off it. No business that allows such money to be falsely claimed stays solvent unless someone on the back end is getting wealthy by allowing it to happen.Harry Samit, the FBI agent who arrested Moussaoui three weeks before the deadly airliner hijackings that killed 3,000 people, testified on Monday that agency superiors repeatedly blocked his efforts to warn of a possible terror attack.As any reader of comic books knows, the lower-echelon grunts in the field are always correct in their suspicions and warnings of disaster. If the Pentagon librarian claims that Dr. Doom is going to sink Manhattan, then the brass better heed the words and call the Super-Buddies in to handle it. This type of anti-hero oracle is a tradition going back hundreds of years that popular media, including comic books, has continued to use and makes use of more often than I'd like. It's an easy, somewhat cliched plot device that creates conflict and suspense while moving the story forwards, even if it is in a predictable manner.
"Barfetta" MAD Magazine #183 (June 1976)"Sir, maybe you shouldn't release Etrigan from the binding spells to talk to him..."Alien Legion #5 (v1, Dec 1984) is a good example of just this sort of story device.
"Silence, Lackey! Now, demon. Since I have just freed you I demand you answer my quest - AAAAARRGH!" (This actually happened in the Byrne series Blood of the Demon)
"Ok. On my order, wake up the Hulk with electric shocks to his testicles and focused gamma rays to the aggression-centers of his brain."
"Uhhh, maybe we shouldn't, Ma'am."
"Just do it! I'm in charge here!"
"HULK SMASH!"
"Mr. Guardian...Sir? Hal's acting kind of...odd... lately"
"Riiiiiiight. Begone, short-lived one!"
Of course, in popular entertainment the protagonist always disobeys orders and after being hunted and branded a traitor for a few issues/chapters/hours manages to cut the blue wire just as the timer reaches zero to save the day.
While DC is rebooting (sorta) the DC Universe from the events in Infinite Crisis, I would like a return of one of the best portrayals of that 5th dimensional imp, Mxyzptlk, to the new DCU. While I liked the version as penned by Alan Moore in Whatever Happened To The Man Of Tomorrow? (that of a bored amoral extra-dimensional sorcerer), I really appreciated the Steve Gerber depictions of Dark Mxy. That guy was scary on so many levels. Gerber-Mxy was the type of guy who would turn your lungs into a yummy dessert treat just to watch you cough up Vanilla-Chocolate Swirls pudding. It isn't too much of a stretch to bring in the Gerber version from a vanished reality into the mainstream DCU, since they already paved the way with World's Funnest and Power Girl.
Phantom Zone mini-series. Basically, the mini was the Superman 2 movie done right. In that 4-issue run drawn by Comic Art God Gene Colan, while battling escaped PZ villains Superman learns that the Phantom Zone is not what he believed it was. What Superman assumed was a harmless limbo dimension that served as a "humane" prison first discovered by Kryptonians was actually a defensive barrier generated around an other-dimensional xenophobic entity named Aethyr.
Four years later it's Post-Crisis in the DCU, and in a Pre-Crisis story about the Zone prisoners, Steve Gerber and Rick Vietch revisit the concepts of the mini in the 1986 DC Comics Presents #97. This issue is horrifying and cruel in content. The Zone villains escape when Aethyr is manipulated by a Kryptonian magician and they attack Earth with a viciousness that rivals the destruction seen later in Byrne's Superman run, when the pocket-universe Kryptonians commit genocide. In this story Mxyzptlk merges with Aethyr as a way to escape his own prison and goes right around the bend.
Interestingly, something similar also happened in Gerber's back-up story in the Bloodstone finale written years prior in Marvel's 1978 Rampaging Hulk magazine.
Too bad for readers that it was all erased as this version of the imp had lots of promise (and as an added bonus Gerber also reintroduced kryptonite and free for the black market Kryptonian technology in the form of the contents of the smashed Argo City back into the DCU). There are very few Mxy stories that are anything short of annoying and a waste of precious page space. Mxyzptlk is a character that is as poorly handled nearly as much as the Joker. Writers just don't know what to do with him because of his power levels. The introduction of a flawed god of chaos could have been good for years of tales and maybe even a great big cross-over event.
TERRAE
1: Lady, That's My Skull!
November 1997, and the cue-arm of the century jumps in its lead-out groove. The old Dutch called it 'slachtmaand', slaughter month. You wouldn't send a dog out on a night like this.
The Highbury job appeared straightforward; one more metropolitan collapsar faced with dreamtime relegation; the whole postal district bleaching out, charisma-challenged, one more municipal flatline seeking voodoo CPR. It's common nowadays. The calendar gets ready to ejaculate a string of zeros, and our map is bed-soiled in the premature congratulation. Brute thermodynamics kicks in, and the meaning bleeds away into hard vacuum. All the hot-spots cool down, mammal lights (*) smearing on the surveillance camera.This where we come in: think of us as Rosicrucian heating engineers. We check the pressure in the song-lines, lag etheric channels, and rewire the glamour. Cowboy occultism; cash-in-hand Feng Shui. First you diagnose the area in question, read the street-plan's accidental creases, and decode the orbit-maps left there by coffee cups, then go to work. Slap up a wall of ectoplasm, standard Moon and Serpent contract. Tables tilted while you wait, manifestations are us. Money for old brimstone.
Obviously, this was before we'd seen the patient. Highbury wasn't at Death's door, it was halfway down Death's passage, hanging up its coat. An anecdote-free zone. No serial murderers, no ghosts, it didn't even merit bold type in the A to Z. You might as well be on the moon. Highbury was amnesiac, whole sections of its past were blank, a geriatric out on day-release and lost somewhere on the Victoria line, only identifiable by dental records, Iron-age crusts, a Saxon bone or two.Originally a Roman summer garrison, the area gets a walk on in the Doomsday Book as 'Tolentone', the higher town. The sixteen hundreds find the site of one of London's designated pleasure hills, a place where Samuel Pepys could blow tobacco snots upon the cobbles. Come the nineteenth century's end, the carnival is shut down, following complaints from neighbours. One of London's sexual organs is made flaccid. All the tantric energy moves on, leaves an exhausted absence in its wake, a drained erotic void safe for the middle class. By 1892 the area's a byword for monotony, a steampunk Neasden. George and Weedon Grossmith set 'The Diary of a Nobody' within the area, with their protagonist Charles Pooter settled comfortably at Brickfield Terrace, Holloway, within the suburbs of oblivion. To make things worse, the whole place is alive with Germans. Writing in 1915 Thomas Burke sets up as an early Euro-sceptic. Quote: "The Highbury region certainly has everything germanically oppressive: mist, large women, lager and Leberwurst, a moral atmosphere of the week before last, and the physical sensation of an undigested sausage." Unquote. Highbury does not come recommended, will take hardboiled psycho-geography to penetrate.
Best start with the foundations. Subterrania gargling in the lower reaches of imagination. When we excavate the place, we excavate ourselves. The inside is the outside. These steam flooded tunnels, rising up about us. Lady, that's my skull!
Original text transcribed by: Pádraig Ó Méalóid
You thought comic book covers could be loaded with sexual imagery? Check out the Space-Vagina cover of the March 1932 Astounding Stories pulp magazine.GOLDFINGERED
"Alright, Goldfinger. You expect me to talk?"
"No, Mr. Bond. I expect you to masturbate."
Scotch and Soda - Kingston Trio
Big Yellow Taxi - Counting Crows
Tequila Sunrise - Eagles
Everybody's Talkin' - Henry Nilson
Unsettling, even one could say subliminally loaded, advertisement originally published in Marvel's Star Trek: Early Voyages #7 (August 1997).
I'm not going to comment on the entire Oscar telecast like other bloggers. As Ted Sturgeon says, "90 per cent of everything is crap." I agree, so I am only going to cover the percentage of the 78th Academy Awards telecast that actually matters: The Part With Salma Hayek.
Here is a screenshot of the old, popular Air Traffic Control screensaver. Way back when in the mid-1990's I installed it on a publicly-viewable computer monitor at a security guard station in San Diego. In this particular building the security desk was positioned in such a way that all the dry-erase boards, paperwork, closed-circuit security camera monitors and computers could be seen and eavesdropped on by the general public from a large window.
This "plug" of Nicholas Cage was originally from the cardboard DVD display placed in the store where I work for the recent release of the snoozer, The Lord of War. For reasoning I can only evaluate as insane, some wit in a marketing department decided that a life-sized head shot cutout of Cage being creepy would help sell copies of the DVD (it didn't). After a few weeks enough of the DVDs were sold/shoplifted that the stand looked empty-ish and too esthetically displeasing to keep on the sales floor so it was tossed out. The DVD's were moved to the regular movie section of the store (a bin of loose, variably-priced films in the Seasonal aisle).
"With your Vulcan ingenuity, I'm sure the Enterprise will pull through."Well, that's just downright condescending and blatant, institutionalized racism. The Doc is marginalizing the person and his skills. He makes it clear that if Li'l Spocky manages to fix the ship when he failed then it is not because Spock is smart and capable, it is due to his genes. That's the same as saying a particular ethnic group is good at sports or fixing cars because of their race. That's crap. I think the Doc is lucky that Spock represses his rage and saves it up for release during the Vulcan equivalent of prom night, the ritual Spa Fon (or whatever it's called).
Geordi:
"With your African-American ingenuity, I'm sure the Enterprise will pull through."
That Stupid-Looking Ensign behind Spock:
"With your Caucasian ingenuity, I'm sure the Enterprise will pull through."
Sulu:
"With your Asian ingenuity, I'm sure the Enterprise will pull through."
Christian Slater:
"With your crappy, awkward cameo ingenuity, I'm sure the Enterprise will pull through."
The Menagerie's Majel Barrett as Number 1:
"With your woman's ingenuity, I'm sure the Enterprise will pull through."
Dr. Stephen Hawking:
"With your diseased ingenuity, I'm sure the Enterprise will pull through. You brave little soldier. You're so brave!"
Jared:
"With your former fat-ass veggie-sandwich-eating ingenuity, I'm sure the Enterprise will pull through."
Hayley Mills:
"With your incredible hotness, I'm sure the....MARRY ME, HAYLEY!"