Yeah, I got some advice...
EYES ON THE ROAD, BONEHEAD!
Harry Samit, the FBI agent who arrested Moussaoui three weeks before the deadly airliner hijackings that killed 3,000 people, testified on Monday that agency superiors repeatedly blocked his efforts to warn of a possible terror attack.As any reader of comic books knows, the lower-echelon grunts in the field are always correct in their suspicions and warnings of disaster. If the Pentagon librarian claims that Dr. Doom is going to sink Manhattan, then the brass better heed the words and call the Super-Buddies in to handle it. This type of anti-hero oracle is a tradition going back hundreds of years that popular media, including comic books, has continued to use and makes use of more often than I'd like. It's an easy, somewhat cliched plot device that creates conflict and suspense while moving the story forwards, even if it is in a predictable manner.
"Sir, maybe you shouldn't release Etrigan from the binding spells to talk to him..."Alien Legion #5 (v1, Dec 1984) is a good example of just this sort of story device.
"Silence, Lackey! Now, demon. Since I have just freed you I demand you answer my quest - AAAAARRGH!" (This actually happened in the Byrne series Blood of the Demon)
"Ok. On my order, wake up the Hulk with electric shocks to his testicles and focused gamma rays to the aggression-centers of his brain."
"Uhhh, maybe we shouldn't, Ma'am."
"Just do it! I'm in charge here!"
"HULK SMASH!"
"Mr. Guardian...Sir? Hal's acting kind of...odd... lately"
"Riiiiiiight. Begone, short-lived one!"
TERRAE
1: Lady, That's My Skull!
November 1997, and the cue-arm of the century jumps in its lead-out groove. The old Dutch called it 'slachtmaand', slaughter month. You wouldn't send a dog out on a night like this.
The Highbury job appeared straightforward; one more metropolitan collapsar faced with dreamtime relegation; the whole postal district bleaching out, charisma-challenged, one more municipal flatline seeking voodoo CPR. It's common nowadays. The calendar gets ready to ejaculate a string of zeros, and our map is bed-soiled in the premature congratulation. Brute thermodynamics kicks in, and the meaning bleeds away into hard vacuum. All the hot-spots cool down, mammal lights (*) smearing on the surveillance camera.
This where we come in: think of us as Rosicrucian heating engineers. We check the pressure in the song-lines, lag etheric channels, and rewire the glamour. Cowboy occultism; cash-in-hand Feng Shui. First you diagnose the area in question, read the street-plan's accidental creases, and decode the orbit-maps left there by coffee cups, then go to work. Slap up a wall of ectoplasm, standard Moon and Serpent contract. Tables tilted while you wait, manifestations are us. Money for old brimstone.
Obviously, this was before we'd seen the patient. Highbury wasn't at Death's door, it was halfway down Death's passage, hanging up its coat. An anecdote-free zone. No serial murderers, no ghosts, it didn't even merit bold type in the A to Z. You might as well be on the moon. Highbury was amnesiac, whole sections of its past were blank, a geriatric out on day-release and lost somewhere on the Victoria line, only identifiable by dental records, Iron-age crusts, a Saxon bone or two.
Originally a Roman summer garrison, the area gets a walk on in the Doomsday Book as 'Tolentone', the higher town. The sixteen hundreds find the site of one of London's designated pleasure hills, a place where Samuel Pepys could blow tobacco snots upon the cobbles. Come the nineteenth century's end, the carnival is shut down, following complaints from neighbours. One of London's sexual organs is made flaccid. All the tantric energy moves on, leaves an exhausted absence in its wake, a drained erotic void safe for the middle class. By 1892 the area's a byword for monotony, a steampunk Neasden. George and Weedon Grossmith set 'The Diary of a Nobody' within the area, with their protagonist Charles Pooter settled comfortably at Brickfield Terrace, Holloway, within the suburbs of oblivion. To make things worse, the whole place is alive with Germans. Writing in 1915 Thomas Burke sets up as an early Euro-sceptic. Quote: "The Highbury region certainly has everything germanically oppressive: mist, large women, lager and Leberwurst, a moral atmosphere of the week before last, and the physical sensation of an undigested sausage." Unquote. Highbury does not come recommended, will take hardboiled psycho-geography to penetrate.
Best start with the foundations. Subterrania gargling in the lower reaches of imagination. When we excavate the place, we excavate ourselves. The inside is the outside. These steam flooded tunnels, rising up about us. Lady, that's my skull!
Original text transcribed by: Pádraig Ó Méalóid
GOLDFINGERED
"Alright, Goldfinger. You expect me to talk?"
"No, Mr. Bond. I expect you to masturbate."
Scotch and Soda - Kingston Trio
Big Yellow Taxi - Counting Crows
Tequila Sunrise - Eagles
Everybody's Talkin' - Henry Nilson
"With your Vulcan ingenuity, I'm sure the Enterprise will pull through."Well, that's just downright condescending and blatant, institutionalized racism. The Doc is marginalizing the person and his skills. He makes it clear that if Li'l Spocky manages to fix the ship when he failed then it is not because Spock is smart and capable, it is due to his genes. That's the same as saying a particular ethnic group is good at sports or fixing cars because of their race. That's crap. I think the Doc is lucky that Spock represses his rage and saves it up for release during the Vulcan equivalent of prom night, the ritual Spa Fon (or whatever it's called).
Geordi:
"With your African-American ingenuity, I'm sure the Enterprise will pull through."
That Stupid-Looking Ensign behind Spock:
"With your Caucasian ingenuity, I'm sure the Enterprise will pull through."
Sulu:
"With your Asian ingenuity, I'm sure the Enterprise will pull through."
Christian Slater:
"With your crappy, awkward cameo ingenuity, I'm sure the Enterprise will pull through."
The Menagerie's Majel Barrett as Number 1:
"With your woman's ingenuity, I'm sure the Enterprise will pull through."
Dr. Stephen Hawking:
"With your diseased ingenuity, I'm sure the Enterprise will pull through. You brave little soldier. You're so brave!"
Jared:
"With your former fat-ass veggie-sandwich-eating ingenuity, I'm sure the Enterprise will pull through."
Hayley Mills:
"With your incredible hotness, I'm sure the....MARRY ME, HAYLEY!"