Pets: Don't take your eyes off them for a second

Don't ever forget that the smartest, most loving, most loyal pet on the planet will still feast on your fresh corpse if you happen to die alone at home.

And don't wail "But....But...What about Greyfriars Bobby?"

Look, he's a dog. He wasn't sleeping on his deceased master's grave every night for years because he missed the old man. Bobby was trying to dig the guy up for a snack.

That is why old people should not have pets. If a senior citizen wants companionship take a shower to get rid of that weird smell and go outside and meet people once in a while.

Tags: Pets