Robin gets molested

Another example of the Manga-fication of American comics. The awful 1970's animae-style art that pervades the titles and cartoon shows today is bad enough. Now the familiar inappropriate sexual Student-Teacher pedophile themes are appearing more often than ever.

A much-older and more mature special agent puts a tongue-lock on the not-yet-of-legal-age-of-consent Bat-family member Robin with a promise of more to come. Teachers have gone to jail for behavior like that.

 from Robin #142 (November 2005)

The connection between horror and sex, particularly with Robin's thought-boxes over-lapping into the smooching & sexual proposal panels is exactly what Wertham and others later were whining about. Robin is disgusted, horrified and nearly traumatized by the pregnant mother-demon while at the same time some hot danger-loving chick is promising a romp. Robin is under-age, Von Hammer is not.

Imagine if the roles were reversed. An older and adult Robin approaches a 16 year old girl traumatized by her encounter with a demon. To the amusement of on-lookers, Robin grabs the girl and forcibly kisses her while rubbing his muscular body up against hers. Robin then promises the girl a wild sexual romp later after her 18th birthday. Incredibly wrong and creepy, isn't it? But that is what happened, only there is a perceived double-standard in that it was acceptable if a woman was the aggressor. Should a male do that he would be arrested. Had the writer reversed the roles then DC would probably be facing if not just concerned parents groups or disgusted fans, then the possibility exists that some official committee much like comics had to deal with starting in the 1950s would begin to pay some attention.

It just wasn't necessary, I'm saying. There has to be a way to increase sales and appeal to teen readers and those 40 year olds without resorting to the nasty child-porn themes and overtly sexual themes.

The Marionette Nerve-Pinch

This is why Marionette is one of my favorite posters, as she critiques the illogic of Klingon society.

But would you want every bus driver or postal worker to be thinking "Today is a good day to die"? It would surely have to lead to a very tense society.

If I had a 'Quote of the Day' shtick this would be today's winner.

Tags: Comic Book Bloggers

FYI: blo.gs

If you are like me you rely on the Comic Weblog Update site to see what's new in the comic bloggery world-o-sphere. You have probably also noticed that it's been a little frustrating to use lately due to the info that site receives from blo.gs.

Blo.gs has been over the last several weeks showing as updated blogs that have not been changed or not listing those that have, or listing incorrectly. I sent blo.gs an e-mail and asked what was up and they sent this back.

We're now generating pings for changes we discover based on crawling a feed, in addition to the direct pings we receive. However, there was a configuration error that was causing three parallel crawling systems to *all* generate these pings. That was fixed late last week and the ping stream is now back to the size we'd expect it to be.

Please let us know if you're still seeing lots of false positives.

-jason

I'm still not seeing much improvement as blo.gs used to be more accurate a month ago than it is today. The Comics Weblog Update is a free service and it's great, so I hope the bol.gs/Yahoo errors don't drive people away from the site.

Tags: Comic Book Bloggers

Comic Book Ad: Attack of the Mutants

I never played this RPG as a kid but I remember this ad and thought the plucky robot was kind of cool. Also, the Professor, busy with his Slide Rule while the zombies shuffle-attack from both directions is hilarious.


from Jonah Hex #51, August 1981

Now some of you are probably thinking "Slide Rule? What's a Slide Rule?"

A Slide Rule is what the one-eyed man is going to be using to beat all the blind with over their heads in his new kingdom when civilization collapses and there isn't any electricity or batteries to run your electronic calculators.

Back in the day, Slide Rules took man to the moon and got him home safe. They are great low-tech that can actually beat a calculator-user in speed-summing contests. That's right...when the flickering fluorescents in your trig class are not strong enough to power the LCD of that calculator you got free with you purchase of dish soap, a Slide Rule can still function.

I gotta admit I don't see what result the Professor is expecting to get from his calculations, unless he's figuring out how long his buddies will occupy the chewing of the zombies as he makes his getaway.

"Let me see...310 pounds of humans...divide by number of bites per minute...times 20 zombie mutants...carry the 8...I've got a 5 minute lead."

You can practice using a java-powered Slide Rule here.

Tags: Comic Book Ad

I think I'll steal a corpse tonight

All Star #2
The characters of the Golden Age were very much a product of their times. That really makes me thing the 1940's was a pretty screwed up era full of disturbed people.

Alan Scott is pretty much the greatest Green Lantern ever, but even he did some questionable things like ripping off corpses to experiment on them. All in a good cause, though.

Tags: Golden Age

Puppies are cute

Awwwwww...

Much cuter than people.

Tags: Katrina

Jesus, Buffy! The Musical

Jesus, Buffy, this I know
For the Chick Tract tells me so.
It's as clear as any bell:
"Dress like witches, go to Hell."

Yes, Jesus, Buffy,
Yes, Jesus, Buffy,
Yes, Jesus, Buffy,
The Chick Tract tells me so.

Sung to the tune of Yes, Jesus Loves Me
- Parody by Beleth


Tags: Religion Wingnut

Firestorm Funnies

Ron Raymond & Martin Stein as Firestorm
Fury of Firestorm #12, May 1983
- Gerry Conway & Pat Broderick


Jason Rusch as Firestorm
Firestorm #17, November 2005
-Stuart Moore & Jamal Igle

When I first read FoF #12 i thought that was a hilarious joke lampooning the comic book cliff-hanger that any reader knew was obvious BS.

Long-time readers may have found the Millennium gag in the most recent Firestorm #17 amusing, but new fans would just be going 'huh'? It's a nice jab from the creators at the Villains United cross-overs. Of course, the cynic in me is saying the joke is memo-authorized rebellion-as-marketing ploy and is as editorial-driven as the entire VU story.

Still, better than the House of M tie-ins.

Tags: Firestorm

Groin Injury Saturday: The Anti-Christ

If there is one guy who deserves a groin injury it is the un-maker of all that is good, the Anti-Christ.

According to Adso, a 10th-century Monk, the Anti-Christ will let himself become circumcised as an adult after his education.



Apparently, having this procedure and declaring yourself King is a sign of the end times. According to 'prophecy', after convincing millions of people with his circumcision credentials that he should be the King of All, the Anti-Christ rules with an evil hand for a few years until something happens and he's killed by somebody.

Many people believe that being circumcised as an adult is more painful and dangerous than as a baby. The jury is still out on that as infants almost assuredly feel pain more intensely than an adult. But the adult patient can have complications that an infant will not. Much of the idea that the procedure is worse for an adult probably comes from the trepidation of "going under the knife" and multi-generation wives-tales.

2000 years ago there probably was a greater danger to the adult, as hygiene and medical knowledge was lacking compared to today. At least Baby Jesus had the advantage of being able to lay hands on himself and do a little healing.

"Listen, you! It's my penis, I'll heal it as much and as for long as I want!"

The AC was likely nothing short of pestilence personified so he probably caught all kinds of infections that rendered his gear useless.

So this week's installment is another self-inflicted groin injury that looks like less a medical procedure steeped in ritual and more of a calculated career move.

Now if you say to yourself 'this entry shouldn't be here...the Anti-Christ isn't a comic book character', then you haven't been paying attention all those years.

Tags: Groin Injury Saturday Religion

Exploding Dog

A couple of years ago I stumbled across artist San Brown's web-site Exploding Dog while I was looking for the video of the Exploding Whale. I thought it was a George Carlin-esque joke or gross-out site until I hit the link and found things like this...


I think I need some space to think

I like the majority of the stuff he does in a chick-flick sort of way. A few I really like...


Science did not fail me


Get out of my head


Human beings were created by water to transport it uphill

Here's a few you can send a significant other to maybe get them to stop bitching all the time about stuff...


I am building a world for you


You are my sunshine

And this is how I see life...


The glass is half full

"Sure, but it's half-full of a deadly and radioactive poison..."

Brown drops a curse word here and there (but not often) in the titles and in some of the art so if browsing with the kiddies be a good parent. I have found that young children enjoy coloring these for themselves if you print them in b/w or if they are savvy enough to use a computer save them in a format so they can use an art program to color them.

Browse & enjoy!

Tags: Art

What issue of an adult magazine is this from?

A lot of artists, especially in comics today, use as art-reference or just swipes the poses and faces for their work from magazines. I have mixed feelings on that, though. While artists have always used models to make their art, some are just not capable of making the result of the references their own creation. For some, they just as well have been using a lightbox and tracing paper. Those artists know who they are and the fans do also.

So in the interest of comic book history, I need a figurative hand here.

From the pages of New Mutants #44 from way back in 1986 there is a panel that used as art reference a model from a Playboy or Penthouse magazine of the time.

New Mutants, v1 #44, February, 1986
Pencils: Jackson Guice, Inks: Kyle Baker

Dani Moonstar, desperate to get a teleport to Muir Island from Illyana Rasputin, barges into Illyana's room unannounced. Dani is immediately attacked by demons zapped in from Limbo by Illyana, who reacts to defend herself instinctively.

Here is the panel in question...

I recall when reading this issue of NM I thought Dani's expression and the coy finger in the mouth pose was odd, especially since she was being tentacle-molested by the pets of her best friend. Then I remembered her pose was a direct swipe from an adult magazine I had read sometime before that.

Can anyone identify the issue this model appeared in?

The model that was the inspiration for this panel was asian or Hawaiian and that it was printed in the 80's, sometime before New Mutants #44 was published. I also could not tell you right now if it was the main magazine or one of those 'Girls of...' things they put out. (The other panels on the page also seem to be using some kind of 'Girl on Girl' photo layout as reference also, but I'm not interested in that).

If you can ID her and when she appeared you'll get an awesome credit for a job well done. Contact me with the issue info (and link or send a scan of the magazine page) by email and I'll do a follow up to this entry.

Think of it as a contest, but you get to research hot women as your prize.

Tags: Art Swipe

PS Magazine: September 2005 featuring JOE KUBERT

The September 2005 issue of PS Magazine is out! For those of you jonesing for some Joe Kubert check it out!



This month features anthropomorphic vehicles and weapons galore! It's like Disney went insane and promoted war through cutsey machines of horrible death!





Seeing as this is a military-sponsored magazine I think it's really a subtle form of introducing a real horror to Americans so they get desensitized to it. Animated films with armored soldiers, planes with Artificial Intelligence, little comic books like this...it is all part of The Plan.

Showing machines with human characteristics just makes humanity more accepting of the day when the poor are kidnapped and their brains are enslaved to massive war-juggernauts of destruction that are exported to oil-rich countries to smash them and kill all the humans.

Science Fiction authors who are part of this conspiracy of harmlessification and human brain enslavement are Keith Laumer (APlague of Demons & B.O.L.O) and Anne McCaffrey (The Ship Who Sang).

For instance, look at this!



The disenfranchised will be mutilated, under-go mind transplant and used as playthings for garage mechanics!

It worked for the Japanese. For 30 years Japanese anime has routinely shown children flying jets, going to war, in positions of responsibilty and tentacle raping nurses. And now look at Japan today! You can't walk down the street without some kid going mach 2 in a hover car fighting alien amoebas...

Don't say you have not been warned!

Tags: Joe Kubert

Spicy Mystery Stories - Bat Man

Spicy Mystery Stories, Feb 1936



For those of you interested in comic book history, take a look at this Kafkaesque pulp story Bat Man, written by Lew Merrill.

This pulp story printed in Spicy Mystery Stories from February 1936 is another acknowledged inspiration for the DC Comics Batman character. Other characters that are precursors to Batman include the pulp hero The Bat (batwing cape and all) and the film The Bat, which is unrelated to the pulp character.

Author Will Murray cited this story in his article The Ancestors of Batman, which is included in the essay collection Pulp Heroes of the Thirties, edited by James Van Hise. Murray also cites the Black Bat, the Bat (Better Publications), the Merrill story and others as influences. The Van Hise edited book is out of print, but you can find a copy through the internet.

Bat Man is the story of John Charters, who runs afoul of a jealous suitor pursuing his fiance. He becomes ill and takes on the characteristics of a bat. He also becomes something of a serial molester and the story has cannibalistic and vampiric elements. There are definite echoes of the DC character here and one part of the story is amusing. When Charters' fiance suggests they go downstairs and depart for his lair he replies, "It's easier for me to climb down the front of the house."

Originally Batman was just an avenging vigilante and the uncanny resemblance to some pulp heroes initially caused some legal issues, but they were all worked out. Bob Kane also negotiated that he would always be the sole credited creator of Batman, though research has shown that Kane studio members Jerry Robinson and Bill Finger were as much the creators of Batman and the other supporting cast as Kane was. Today, such resemblance in characters would not be successful due to legal challenges, but the industry was a bit different back in the 30's. If Batman was indeed a blatant rip, then the creators quickly made the character unique, which is how it managed to survive the years when others faded into literary history.

That it was a comic book, cheaper to buy, easier to read and aimed for a younger market than the novelized pulps helped the character remain in the public eye also.

I have posted the entire Merrill story here.

Enjoy!

Tags: Batman Art Swipe

Robey vs. Murray Head

Louise Robey, model, 80's one-hit pop songstress, actress and ex-Lady Buford, is totally my bitch, she just doesn't know it yet. Someday...oh yes, she will be mine.

Robey (Robey the Wonderful, to you) for those of you who lived in a cave in the 80's or were unfortunately born too late (but that's okay, because all men are thinking of Robey during impregnation, so you are still the Spawn of Robey), is the lady who brought us the song One Night In Bangkok.

For that alone Robey is a goddess, she is my Wonder Woman.

Who, you ask? You thought some dude sang it? That 'dude' would be Murray Head, but Robey did it first. Well, technically ABBA did it for the musical Chess with Head 'singing' the tune (hence similar scenes between the two videos), but Robey still came out with it publicly before Murray.

For some unfathomable reason her song & video was quickly eclipsed on MTV and radio by Head. I blame a conspiracy of evil by soulless record company cokeheads.

Robey totally kicks Murray Head's ass up and down the street. She is Robey, a hot red-head, therefore she wins automatically in any match-up.

After the song gave her some publicity Robey deigned to do few films (just as a lark and we all thank her for it), showing up in the Ahnold masterpiece Raw Deal and a few others. Her most notable work is on the syndicated Friday the 13th television series, which had nothing to do with the movie of the same name and was made incredible by the awesomeness that is Robey.

Again, one more reason that she has been placed among the stars in the heavens.

The Robey starfield image as recorded by the Hubble, Nov 2004.
Visible not only by the naked eye, but by mankind's heart as well.

Robey is, dare I say it, hotter than even the great Hayley Mills.









Wow...just....wow.

Robeylicious!

But don't get me wrong. Robey is a party, but it's Hayley Mills you take home and marry.

Tags: Robey

Just don't ask for the special

In America you get arrested for public drunkenness. In Thailand they give you public barfing troughs so you can purge and get back to partying. Thailand has got the right idea, I think.

At least I hope so and that this isn't a restaurant.

Tags: Travel

Groin Injury Saturday: Ragdoll

Revised, because I didn't pay attention to what was in front of me. Thanks guys!


from Villains United #5

In the recent Villains United #5, the crazed villain known as Ragdoll gets kneed by one of the disposable Madmen in the crotch. The Ragdoll gets slammed hard enough to lift the inseam about 6 inches...a pretty good hit that would kill a normal person. But Ragdoll isn't normal at all.

Following his bliss, the Ragdoll is heavily medicated and has undergone extensive surgeries to let him continue to be a google-jointed villain. Ragdoll was losing his triple-jointed abilities through the ravages of age and injury. So to combat this he had most of his joints replaced with prosthetics so he can keep doing whatever it is he does. Ragdoll is the grandson of the original. Honestly, Ragdoll's power is about as useful as Green Arrow's. It's Ragdoll's insanity that is his real power. I doubt we have seen the extremes this serial-killer will go to. Handled correctly, Ragdoll could be the next Joker (who has been mishandled story-wise far short of potential for years). He needs his old costume back first to wear the old style uniform, though. I prefer the insane Raggedy-Andy/Brother Power costume over the current Harlequin look. It must be as much a pain to draw and color as Jack-of-Heart’s costume.

The Ragdoll is extra-ordinarily committed to bizarre body modifications. So when the Madman gets a hit in the Ragdoll dismisses it, as the targets of the knee-shot were 'removed ages ago' by surgery.

Ragdoll reveals he is a neuter, though I suspect that in the future some writer will drop hints that he his now officially a woman (as if getting a knee in either gender's set of reproductive facilities isn't incapaciating to both).

So this week's groin injury isn't from an outside source, but rather Ragdoll did it to himself through self-mutilation or had it done to him via elective surgery from someone like the Crime Doctor.

Deadshot said it best...


Tags: Groin Injury Saturday

Mr. Pickle Takes A Dip

Print ad from 1958

Nothing suggestive about this at all, nope.

What connection did Shell Industrial Lubricants, the company that had this ad created, have with Heinz 57? Were oiled pickles a staple of the American diet in the 50's?

I don't get it. Kididing, I totally do.

Tags: Advertising Sex

RIP: Carl & Lisa

Action #397

Nice job there, Sparky. Look, it doesn't matter if you bury something under a mile high mountain or a five mile high mountain because all you really did was stick those bodies at ground level with what amounts to a big tombstone over them.

So instead of, say, cremating the bodies with heat-vision and destroying the planet-sterilizing disease they hold you stick them in a cave. A cave that will seep and carry the infection to the water table so it gets out and infects everyone.

And what do you mean they will never be found? The Japanese never thought they'd release Rhodan from his mountain hibernation cave when drilling but and look how that turned out.

They could have had a nice memorial on the surface. Now the world will never know the sacrifice the Reynolds' made.

Tags: Superman Medicine

Christine vs Killdozer

vs

There have been a lot of ultimate battle match-ups but none have ever answered the burning question of who would win in a fight between Killdozer and Christine?

Lets do a comparison of their virtues...

Christine: Evil, possessed machine
vs.
Killdozer: Evil, possessed machine
Tie.

Christine: Possessed by demon
vs.
Killdozer: Possessed by alien
Alien trumps demon. Killdozer could be an alien demon. That takes it up a notch.

Christine: Movie sucked, had bad acting
vs.
Killdozer: Movie sucked, had bad acting
Tie.

Christine: Movie had a hot chick
vs.
Killdozer: No hot chick
Car, duh.

Christine: Really cool car, good for picking up babes
vs.
Killdozer: Construction equipment, not much of a chick magnet
Car scores again.

Christine: Owes existence to Stephen King
vs.
Killdozer: Owes existence to Ted Sturgeon
Killdozer gets it because it was original. Stephen King ripped it for Christine and Trucks.

Christine: 2 tons
vs.
Killdozer: 6 tons
Big guy wins that one.

Christine: Never-ending rage
vs.
Killdozer: Don't have no use for humans
Ok, car gets it.

Christine: Plays cool Motown when it kills
vs.
Killdozer: Engine clicks when hot
Christine was a rolling stone, baby.

Christine: Repairs self when broken
vs.
Killdozer: SOL when broken
The crimson terror takes the trophy.

Christine: Car manages to sneak up on people
vs.
Killdozer: Huge roaring machine somehow manages to sneak up on people
I don't know if I should give this to Killdozer because its smart enough to be stealthy on treads or give it to Christine because its victims are not so stupid. Meh, stealth wins.

Christine: High body count but only kills losers and punks
vs.
Killdozer: Smaller body count, but had to kill war-hardened he-men
The 'dozer takes that one because it fought experienced soldiers.

Christine: Dies when smashed by regular bulldozer
vs.
Killdozer: Dies when fundamental forces of universe zap it
Pfffft. Killdozer of course gets the point. Any machine can get crushed and it stop working. Killdozer is so bad-ass the entire Universe has to take it out.

Total Baddassitunity Points
Killdozer: 6 Christine: 5

Okay, so the jury is in and Killdozer can totally annihilate Christine beyond all doubt. Face it, Christine is just a mid-size motor vehicle. Killdozer is a freaking armor-plated D7 bulldozer and it built airstrips and leveled thick jungle all over the Pacific theatre in WW2!

Christine would wet itself and then die if it really had to go up against the big Killdozer.

Tags: Christine Killdozer

Toss a salad with Cookie Monster

Originally brought to my attention by ArZi

Tags: Seduction of the Innocent