Okay, now you are freaking me out

Nude Bugaloos? Rolled-up sleeves as a turn on?

Tags: Search terms Get away from me

Let its sweet perfume sizzle into your brain!

I really like Golden Age comic books but sometimes they make my brain spin. For instance, take 4 Most Comics#1 from the Winter of 1942. This issue is one long salute to Aryan homoeroticism in a comic book and the wink-wink, nudge-nudge content is about as subtle as being hit by a freight train as it enters a tunnel.

First, take the name of the title's hero.

Creator Bob Davis, who in a self-portrait can be seen above, named his hero Dick Cole. Okay, I guess the name could have been worse, like Penis Anuston or something. I think, though, that the hero's name pretty much sets the tone for all the many appearances of the character.

While Dick could easily be compared to the early Building-Leaping Superman of 1942, I see him as more closely being a take off on Wylie's Hugo Danner (aka Man-God aka Gladiator to you comic fans), who allegedly was also the creative template for Superman. Abandoned as an infant, Dick is adopted by a scientist who trains him to be All-American and gives him a formula that turns him into Dick Cole the Wonder Boy. Strong, fast and clever, Dick and his thuggish friend Simba spend their time fighting Nazi saboteurs and exploring homoerotic subtext.

In 4 Most #1, the extra long feature is devoted to Dick's adventures at a disinguished southern military academy. The main story concerns mind-control, a fairly erotic subject to begin with. That the method of control is applied to the ubermenches of the academy by a deformed serial-killer who is in denial about his sexual orientation and is strangely obsessed with Dick Cole makes this one interesting comic. There is also a dinosaur which Dick and Simba subdued using bondage when it went on a rampage through the city for some reason.

Reggie Mocton is a rich kid who is attending the same military academy as Dick Cole and Simba.

Since this is a comic book, you can tell that Reggie is evil because he is ugly. Beginning in 1941 and lasting until 2003 it was a rule in comic books that only females that were evil could be portrayed as attractive. Reggie quickly attaches himself to Dick and begins an obsessive love/hate relationship with all the "fine specimens of boyhood" on the campus, focusing particularly on Dick.

Reggie's obsession increases. He is undoubtedly bothered not only by his own confusion but the oblivious reactions of everyone else around him.

As Reggie becomes increasingly frustrated the readers get a little glimpse into his childhood and the circumstances leading up him murdering his physically perfect brother out of jealousy.

STANDBY FOR MIND-CONTROL!

Being a twisted genius Reggie invents a mind-control drug and uses it first on his chauffer, then random academy students before using it on Dick Cole and framing him for treason.

In between scenes of Reggie hypnotizing men into doing unsaid things while off-panel, we see what a typical day is like for Dick at Farr Academy. There are sports, studies, threat of punishment by a stern master and late-night pajama parties.

Reggie can't deal with the unrealized truth of what he is going through emotionally, so he takes steps to destroy the subjects of his obsessions.

Then things get weird.

After Dick Cole unwittingly drinks the potion, Reggie visits him in his room.

Brainwashed, Dick steals some blueprints from some plant and gets caught. In what has to be the swiftest trial ever, he is sentenced to death by firing squad for treason. While Dick is in jail, Reggie buys a dinosaur to serve as school mascot and becomes everyone's pal.

While Reggie is enjoying being BMOC, Dick's father visits him in jail, and they seem to be having a conversation that is taking place on a couple of different levels. I'd almost think this panel is revealing some unresolved Daddy issues on the part of the writer.

Simba isn't happy about Dick being executed and decides to do something about it. Again, I think this conversation has nothing to do with the actual story.

Denial isn't just a river in Egypt, fellas. And why do the characters feel the need to apologize for anything and justify their actions?

Together, Simba and Dick flee overseas. While enroute they save a ship from being destroyed by a Nazi U-Boat and return home as heroes.

Once back at the Academy, they confront Reggie, who finally snaps. For some reason, genius Reggie never considered that Dick and Simba would ever return to the Academy. Reggie escapes by throwing a liquid into the faces of the Wonder Boys and the Commandant, who show porn-faces worthy of Greg Land and his Magic Lightbox.

Reggie then goes on a rampage riding his mind-controlled Freudian dinosaur, destroying most of the campus in the process. Dick Cole and Simba strangle the long-necked dinosaur by once again applying the judicious use of bondage. Reggie is captured and things return to normal at Farr Academy.


This issue is one surreal trip and I am now fascinated by Dick Cole. If those comics were not so expensive and hard to find I'd like to read them all. Everyone points to the Golden Age Batman and Robin as the most popular examples of a homosexual theme in comics but these books could be historic in terms of portrayal of homosexuality in the arts. The subtext of the Batman's relationship with Robin never seemed too overt to me when compared to the Dick Cole or the lesbian themes in Wonder Woman, which were far more obvious. In looking at this issue it is not surprising to think that parents and Congress were beginning to become concerned over the content of comic books and their effect on children. Violence and cheesecake is one thing, but what was then considered to be deviant behavior is another. Given the era and cultural mind set of the 1940's this issue alone could have sent alarm bells ringing in the heads of parents and busy-bodies everywhere.

The "Gay = Evil" plot device is front and center throughout this issue, though it seems confusing and mixed. For every scene portraying alleged homosexuality to be immoral and destructive, there are likewise some panels that show it in a positive aspect, albiet many are tinged with self-recrimination and shame. The Predatory Homosexual was a common character in the entertainment media of the 1940's, 1950's and beyond and can be observed in pretty frank terms in such films as Saboteur and Young Man with a Horn. There was even a very self-aware homage to the concept in Raiders of the Lost Ark in the character of Nazi interrogator Major Toht. Thankfully, society is much more enlightened and mature these days and you don't see that theme much anymore.

And now, a subtle bit of 1940's comic book racism, as seen in the Farr Military Academy Code.

"To work hard and play hard as becomes our race..."

Tags: Dick Cole Golden Age Comics Seduction of the Innocent Subtext

Alarmclockonite is my only weakness

Did you know that if you sleep on your back in the classic Superman flight pose you will dream that you can fly and, most likely, also dream of being someone with powers far beyond those of other mortals?

It totally works. Costume not required.

Tags: Flying dreams

Computer Annoyance: Surprise Installation Launch

One of my peeves with computers, other than those coming from exterior scum-agents are the Surprise Installation Launch.

This is when a program pops a window in front of your current window with a file download or other request authorization. This is not necessarily an Internet pop-up, which have been all but eliminated for all but the careless computer-user, but rather from some function of a program that already exists on your drive. It could be from a an already authorized program such as Office or PhotoShop, or could be from some malware or spyware you are not aware exists.

What this small window does is when it is seeking an okay from the user to update or install, it comes to the front of a program you have in use such as Word. The OPEN or RUN button on the window is already highlighted by default. So before you are aware that the window is there you hit a key like the space bar or enter while typing and allow the download or install to run.

Since I type fairly quickly when writing and don't look at the screen much this has happened to me quite a few times. Often I have no idea what update or install I had just authorized and had to hope it wasn't something bad. I have little intention of updating much of my software due to so-called "improvements" that are actually a regression in quality and function (for example, Nero a few years back) and the new trend for crippling DRM to be installed without my knowledge or approval. I find these surprise installation windows to be annoying and potentially hazardous. I'd like the practice of being able to review and choose what updates I want to apply to be more widespread in software than it is. Even the ones that often notify me via a task bar icon are often a fait accompli and not a request.

Tags: Surprise Software Updates Computer Annoyances Web Annoyances DRM

These boots are made for walking

More fun with barnyard animals...Bully, that is.

Tags: Meme Green Lantern Bully Says: Comics Should Be Fun!

Sometimes it's not very pleasant

I think there is an entire story here other than the one shown in the book that needs to be told. Preferably using strawberry jell-o as a plot device.

From True War Romances #16 (August 1954)

Tags: Comic Book Romance Subtext

I would bet that MEGA-ROD could shatter that glass ceiling!

So in Jack Kirby's world a woman with the strength of twenty men is considered "equal".

The comic book world is poorer for the lack of the King, but he really could have used some dialog help from time to time. Or maybe not. Maybe Jack knew exactly what he was doing in scripting in his awkward, Golden Age-styled, two-fisted dialog. Over-the-top, Thud-and-Blunder exposition certainly worked for his 1980's Captain Victory series.

From Mister Miracle #13 (April 1973)

Tags: DC Comics Kirby Mr. Miracle Scott Free Big Barda MEGA-ROD!

Barbarian Cop

Gang Busters #10 (June-July 1949)

Tags: DC Comics Gang Busters Conan

The Find Sensation of 1949, Lady Cop!

Gail Simone (via Seven Hells) has teased us with the news of an appearance by Lady Cop in the All-New Atom #6.

But which of DC's several Lady Cops that have beein in print will it be? Gail is very crafty and may just be screwing with our brains.

Will it be VD Battlin' Liza from the 1970's, or the sultry, no-nonsense, pistol-packing brunette of 1949?

Gang Busters #9 (April-May 1949)

Wallop the link to read the tale an innocent young woman who, after being viciously assaulted by a thug, joins up with other revenge-minded females to become the scourge of cut-purses and footpads everywhere!

Lady Cop '49!

Tags: DC Comics All-New Atom Lady Cop Gail Simone

I doubt the Guardians would approve

Of Hal using the greatest weapon in the universe as a personal music player.

My entry to Bully's Happy Tomato Fun Time Meme-o-Rama featuring the true and only Green Lantern.


Tags: Meme

The safety word is MEGA-ROD!

Images from Mister Miracle #10 and #13, respectively.

Tags: DC Comics Big Barda Kinky This is why there is an Internet

Thanks for the nightmares, Mr. kirby!

Madame Evil Eyes and her disposable foot-soldier praise Satan.

From Mister Miracle #14 (June-July 1973)

Tags: DC Comics Mister Miracle Satan Jack Kirby

Keep On Foomin'

- FOOM #2 (Summer 1973)

Tags: Marvel Comics FOOM Hulk

They don't call him "The Man" for nothing

Out of all the photos taken at the Temple University panel hosted by Stan Lee and Jeanette Kahn the editors choose these two unfortunate examples to publish.

First off, Stan forgets that just because you wear shades it does not mean that people can't tell you are checking out Ms. Kahn's rack.

KAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHNNN!

Then, he goes for the grope.

Photos don't lie. Not in 1979, anyways.

- The Comics Journal (July 1979)

Tags: Stan Lee Jeanette Kahn

I'd vote for Batman

Tags: Batman Maryland Vandalism

Green Arrow gets no respect

From the What To Watch column in the television listing section of the Baltimore Sun (Nov 9, 2006)

Tags: TV Smallville Green ArrowGreen Lantern

The Big Barda Drinking Game

The rules are simple: During your next get together with your many comic book friends get the party started by grabbing a random comic book that features the Apokoliptian uber-soldier Big Barda. Every time Big Barda speaks the name of MEGA-ROD you have to drink a beer or a shot of your favorite hard liquor.

Ready? Begin!

Nope. Big Barda did not say MEGA-ROD! But, take a drink anyway.
She looks awesome grasping MEGA-ROD so firmly.

Yes! Take a drink!
Barda evoked MEGA-ROD!

MEGA-ROD! Apply directly to chin!
MEGA-ROD! Apply directly to chin!
MEGA-ROD! Apply directly to chin!

This panel is worth a drink, so go ahead!

MEGA-ROD will take you there.
Barda said the name of MEGA-ROD twice, so have two!

Yet another drink!
MEGA-ROD will take you to where the action is!

MEGA-ROD does not suffer nests of bumbling hams gracefully.
Take one drink for every bumbling ham that MEGA-ROD has righteously zokked and bapped!

MEGA-ROD will indicate where the party is!
Have another drink!

MEGA-ROD serves up another round.
Time for a drink!

Barda didn't say MEGA-ROD but that's okay.
Any mention of MEGA-ROD counts, so have a drink!

Guess what? You win!
Everybody wins who plays the Big Barda Drinking Game!

Panels from Mister Miracle #4 (October 1971)

Tags: DC Comics Kirby Mr. Miracle Scott Free Big Barda MEGA-ROD!