Good For You and the Earth

Recently I received a number of on-demand printed advertisements along with the usual coupons I receive at the check stand of the store I regularly buy my groceries from. Here is a slightly manipulated actual ad that is generated from the coupon dispensing machines. As usual, I have removed the actual store name and logo and replaced it with a fictitious business name.

After paying for my groceries the coupon printer actually dispensed two of these ads along with my receipt and a couple of other coupons.

The printed advertisement from the store makes the claim that organic products are beneficial for the consumer and for the ecology of the planet Earth. This is an assertion that looks and sounds good and makes the consumer feel better about what they buy even though the term "organic" does not necessarily mean something is healthier to eat. It refers primarily to the required processes used to produce a product that is certified as organic in origin (which can be quite liberal in definition).

While the claim that organic products are superior to other foodstuffs may be true any environmental gains from organic farming must surely be negated by the obscene amounts of paper waste generated to proclaim said benefits.

The distance between the public relations claims of a company and their vendors committing to being 'green' issued from the rarefied heights of the Boardroom and the street-level reality can be measured by the the many miles of paper spam generated at the cash register.

Do the math: One 6-inch ad x an average 3000 customers per store x 2400 stores nationwide.

Related post: Waste Lots, Want Not.

If Disney purchased DC Comics

JIMINY OLSEN

Related: Disney in other media

This is your cat on drugs

As loathe as I am to act as an outlet for free advertising the bizarre "through the looking glass" commercial for pet food is just too strange not to mention.

I don't need no politicians to tell me things I shouldn't be

Eddie and the Hot Rods (1977)

The False Negative

Capturing the attentions of jaded, cynical and increasingly suspicious consumers is a never-ending battle and a billion-dollar a year industry. One of the tactics to trick the public into noticing an ad or promotion is what I term the False Negative.

The False Negative is becoming more pervasive over the last several years and violates one of my rules when it comes to purchasing: If a lie is needed to get me to purchase a product then I will never, ever buy it. This is just one of my rules that makes me a smart shopper but in the eyes of the Gods of Retail a poor consumer.

The False Negative manifests in any number of ways with one of the most common being the the false error tone. At various places such as the gas pump and at the check stand in supermarkets (as noted in the previous post Waste Lots, Want Not) the False Negative comes as an alert from the equipment that a person would normally associate with an error. I initially noticed it a few years ago while gassing up my car. The pump beeps with a descending tone, the opposite of the usual higher-pitching rising and happier sound of a successful transaction, prompting me to investigate by looking at the pump display screen. Where one would expect a message reminding me to choose a grade of gas instead would be an advertisement for refreshments or a car wash. This is a tactic in up-selling I expect that will decrease in effectiveness over time. Annoying consumers in this manner is a poor strategy that should only result in short-term gains, if any at all. One could only cry wolf only so many times before it is ignored.

A False Negative that has been in retail stores for a while is the floor display advertisement in supermarkets. These ads occur as large adhesive signs applied to the floor of various aisles. One of the common themes of the floor display ad is that it resembles in layout an accidental spill or scattering of a product. In the snack foods aisle the floor ad would feature a bunch of cookies laid out on a plate. In the cleaning aisle a large ad for detergent could resemble a puddle of liquid soap on the floor. Typically the ads depict a box with the product bursting from it in some sort of flavor explosion.

What the..? Now I can pay for the puppy's surgery! Aw, dang.

By making the floor display ad irregular in shape and form the eye is drawn to it. But not because the product is interesting or worth purchasing. Rather, the ad momentarily tricks the customer into paying attention to the product through a perception of something wrong (a failure of cleanliness) or even the hazard of personal danger through an unsafe area.

The shape and location of the floor advertisement causes the patron to notice it when entering the aisle and presumably keep aware of it on some level while shopping. From a distance of a few feet most of the ads appear as spills or messes and only when the patron approaches it closely does it resolve in the mind from possible slip and fall hazard to advertisement. Where I work I have observed an increase in calls for clean-ups in some aisles following the placement of certain ads which are moved and replaced on a regular schedule. Often customers walking by an aisle alert the employees of the store to a spill and when investigated, none is found.

I have personally observed that both the customers and employees are predictably desensitized to the False Negative of the faux spill and safety hazard. After a day or two calls for clean up to the area with the floor ad begin to wane as patrons and the employees become adjusted to the ad and awareness of it fades into the visual and mental background. I have found that it is incumbent upon the managers to ensure that each call for a clean up is thoroughly investigated as due to human nature bored, careless or over-worked staff will assume yet another notification of a spill is going to prove to be without real cause.



 It would be interesting and not totally without merit to track slip and fall cases in retail establishments to when and where floor display advertisements were placed. An insurance company could possibly find a correlation from the possible result of an injury claim due to messes where not rapidly attended from the assumption there was no spill and the call for a clean up of an aisle was merely another False Negative ad on the floor.

The Dark Halo

I may be the only one to ever comment on an extinct video artifact; that of the Dark Halo, a unique lens flare common to early television. There were a number of limitations to such new and expensive means of communication and for decades the promising technology was unable to fulfill its full potential as a medium. It was, in spite of its advanced nature, a fairly simple means of communication and it would take years of development and the anticipation of market penetration to work out all the bugs.

Early television worked but it didn't work all that great. Static, ghosts and other problems caused by transmission, reception and the limits of the equipment made television viewing something of a general disappointment. Television wasn't the slick eye-party of modern times. The questionable quality was endured because that was all there was. It was the transmission of the information, not the experience, that made broadcast television worthwhile in the early days.

One of those artifacts of broadcast television of days long gone that surely caused concern among broadcasters was the Dark Halo. I'm sure there is a technical term for it but I don't know what it is. The Dark Halo was a lens flare caused by the inability of the camera or equipment to fully process the image against an overwhelming light source. It was caused by a bright point of light reflecting into the camera. Typically a bright, intense reflection from a ring, piece of metal, glass or sequins on a dress or suit would cause a bright flare on the image. Instead of a bright, white glow and haze the equipment would instead create a momentary darkened halo around a bright center. In modern film craft the bright lens flare is a camera technique used on purpose for effect (Star Trek, CSI, etc.) but in the past it was an annoyance that highlighted the limits of technology.

Via boingboing. Click the photo to experience the caveman days of television for yourself.

In the image/link above a Dark Halo can be seen on the sparkly jacket worn by Buck Owens just above his hand on the guitar neck. For performers like Buck who wore 'nudie suits' and the slinky sequined dresses favored by female stars like Barbara Streisand during their television performances the Dark Halo was a constant and familiar presence for the viewer. It was also nearly restricted to the black and white era. By the time color began to appear in television the image processing difficulties were being overcome for the most part, though on many shows one
can still observe the occasional Dark Halo flare overwhelm the equipment. This is evident from the reflections seen coming from from the jewels on Cinderella's crown in the 1965 broadcast of Rodgers and Hammersteins' Cinderella.

The Dark Halo is also something I look for when a modern show recreates television scenes of the past as I am nerdy that way. These are normally depicted during scene on a camera or monitor as a black and white image that is in the foreground of a set (as in the film That Thing You Do). In those rare instances I have yet to see any show faithfully recreate the darkened lens flare or other video artifacts with the exception of poorly rendered lettering or titles superimposed on the image.

That's a really huge sword

Deadpool, Merc With a Mouth #8 (April 2010).

I get stuff

The fine folks at Fantagraphics and W.W. Norton, via ultra-blogger Bully, have sent me a bunch of books for my collection. I expect that one of these days someone will realize how much my reviews suck and cut me off. But until then much appreciated!

The big prize in these books is The Book of Genesis by Robert Crumb. Like the Wolverton Bible, this title is a must have for those interested in the uncensored words of one of the most pervasive religions of the world. Robert Crumb's gritty art is perfectly suited for the task, conveying people as suffering under harsh conditions and also making them come off as unwashed perverts much of the time.

What becomes even more clear when aided by the art is that one of the underlying themes of the this section of the Bible is slavery. Everyone subservient to both man and deity because that is what the All-Knowing has ordered. The corrupt, criminal and even misguided claim to speak for God or at the least expect the populace to obey them because they maintain that is what God demands usually under threat of a terrible penalty for disobeying. Crumb did not approach this work is his usual familiar style but as straight illustration. Though because of his unique style some of his humor unexpectedly creeps in at places.

This version of The Book of Genesis is one of interpretation, though perhaps a much more honest one than that pushed by the usual suspects. One telling scene that illustrates perfectly the problems with interpretation is when scripture quotes a man is killed because he displeased God the panel depicts him as being murdered by a thief. In reading the "original" text it is conveyed the victim was struck down by some supernatural means and not by the sharp blade of a criminal seeking money. Here is a good review by R. C. Harvey.

The Squirrel Machine by Hans Rickheit. I expected to read this and find it to be a charming steam-punk story. Instead it turned out to be at turns shocking and disturbing but worth the accolades.

Johnny Ryan turns in another interesting work in Prison Pit. Violent and definitely not for kids.

Another treasure is Portable Grindhouse: The Lost Art of the VHS Box. Cleverly packaged and full of nostalgia for a guy like me. A younger generation probably won't see the appeal beyond the kitschy art but I get a big kick out of it. I have seen all of these films and owned a number of them. One of the things that were readily available in Korea in the 1980s were cheap video cassettes and being stationed there I watched a lot of B-movies. Good times.

Newave! The Underground Mini Comix of the 1980s is a collection of uncensored strips from indie artists and cartoonists. These are comic history and it would have been a shame for these to have been lost to time like so much of the more mainstream Golden Age work.

West Coast Blues. A French noir thriller that has been adapted to a number of formats over the last few years. This graphic novel is one such adaptation and it works well.

The Unclothed Man in the 35th Century A.D. by Dash Shaw. The work is dense and thoughtful and there are plenty of examples of amazing and creative use of color to support the story without overwhelming it.

Last but not least is a great collection of political cartoons by Lawrence Herblock. Herblock is published by the W.W. Norton Company and is no mere prop to be brought out of the closet, dusted off and strategically positioned on a coffee table by hipsters to impress during a cheese-tasting party. Not only does this massive tome document seven decades of opinion by a master of the craft but accompanying the book is a DVD containing over 18,000 cartoons. You could use this book to teach a college course, no kidding.

Gonna wash that man right outta my hair

Don't know why, but all of a sudden I want to visit a salon.

Woman's Day (April 6, 1982).

Valen-Treasures for Valentine Day

Have fun!

Child Life (February 1957).

One Hundred and One Just Won't Do

HELL YES, Sheena.

Some wild talent, obsession and unbridled passion for your Valentine's Day listening pleasure. Way better than Bolero. Enjoy, you crazy cats!

From 1989.

The only thing left to appear on is candybar wrappers

With the pretty actress being featured on the March 2010 issue of the high-brow Architectural Digest, I think we are rapidly approaching some sort of Jennifer Aniston Singularity.

Honestly, Jennifer Aniston's image appears on more things than Jesus at this point. But what the heck, she's nicer to look at.

While her home is very nice the rumpus room/slash firing range wallpapered with mutilated photos of Brad and Angelina is kind of creepy and I think AD readers would have been better served skipping that part of the photo tour.

Uber Chicle FAQ

A bunch of people were very interested in my original posting of the price list for UBER CHICLE, the miraculous neoprene that cures all bodily and spiritual ills by harnessing the awesome power of gobbledygook. In the previous post UBER CHICLE, I point out that the sellers of the magic rubber inexplicably admit that their product is made from wetsuit material.

Skeptical readers found this difficult to believe. Surely not even the most foolish snake oil representative would admit their product was a useless scam for fear of the intelligent consumer investigating their claims and shying away from their product, thereby harming sales. It seems to be an odd mixture of confession and grifting. Perhaps it is a preemptive admission so as to explain against the inevitable questions of how Uber Chicle neoprene differs from the standard wet suit neoprene. As example, production artifacts such as glue and thread common to both Uber Chicle and a wet suit. Well, very few people ever lost money underestimating the gullibility of others.

Posted here is the proof of Uber Chicle's origin from the actual website of the manufacturer. As before, I changed the name of the product to prevent anyone from using this site as a resource for actually looking the junk up and buying it (a public service really, much in the same spirit as not giving a toddler a loaded gun because something stupid and tragic will inevitably occur).

Grammatical awkwardness from the translation to English aside, the FAQ is full of the usual nonsensical pseudo-science word salad common to quack medicine of this sort designed solely to separate the foolish and desperate from their money.

Again I implore anyone reading this: If you are sick, please seek real medical help. Relying on quack science can be a matter of life and death for some people.

Futura - Chapter 16

If the previous installment of the Futura Saga recommended safety glasses when reading then full-body armor is required for this one!

In the earlier chapter that introduced the Space Pirate Queen Yrina, I maintained that Futura and the pirate are not all that different and may have easily followed different paths in their respective struggles to survive in the wild and woolly space lanes. Planet Comics #58 (January 1949) is a good example of Futura making the kind of decision that would realistically land her on a Most Wanted Criminal list for a reason other than the current case of mistaken identity.

On the run and trapped within the black market arms bazaar Futura offers as a distraction to her pursuers the kind of destruction one would expect from the criminal Yrina and not a displaced executive secretary. In the 1994 film Clerks some of the characters discussed the film Star Wars. They posited the idea that it was doubtful that everyone who was killed on the Death Star was an enemy combatant and that thousands of poor, working schmoes also met their deaths when the ship exploded. A lot of the staff that died were just contracted techs and pump-jockeys who just wanted jobs and to feed their families.

A similar sitation occurs in Chapter 16 of the Futura Saga. In her desperation to escape from the bazaar Futura purposely razes the market to the ground and causes massive chaos on both the ground and in the sky. Her actions undoubtedly caused the death of scores of people, some of whom being slaves and captives like herself, were not evil death-merchants and undeservedly perished. Futura is no stranger to wide-scale annihilation though. In a bid for freedom she destroyed a planet and the native population upon it on a previous occasion. When the people of Pan-Cosmos were wiped out she was at best acting with good intentions that went awry. At worst Futura was using the rebellion for her own selfish means, sacrificing two races of sentient beings just to gain access to a space ship. It is interesting that the events leading up to her escape from Pan-Cosmos and the bazaar reaped similar results and that two of the most evil characters in the strip, Omma and Yrina, have in common enough traits with Futura that they all chose the same path for escape.

Futura may have crossed a moral line in this installment but this kind of characterization is a positive one and gives Futura more depth and motivation, something that was sorely missing in all but a few early comic book serials. Futura's decisions make her a bit less two-dimensional and far more interesting as her character evolves from the simple kidnapped secretary she once was into a person of resolute means. If Futura still has designs on returning home to Earth then they are undeclared and she may have changed too much to ever go back to being the sexily-clad girl in the Compu-Steno pool. A career in spaceship piracy seems ever more likely for Futura.

Click to...Look out! Run!

Accept no imitations

A cheerful Lev Gleason publication gleefully leads a crowd of competing comic books to their horrible watery deaths. From Crime Does Not Pay #66 (August 1948).

Lesson learned

A horrible week dealing with food poisoning and I'm still recovering. Should have known better than to eat those brands of pre-wrapped salami sandwich and macaroni salad. Haven't been that sick since I ate that meat-thing on a stick from that street vendor in the Philippines back in 1986.

Visiting the Land of the Lost

Michael May's Adventureblog has just finished the third part of an unflinching three-part review of season one of the classic 70's show The Land of the Lost. I'm too biased towards the spirit of the show to ever give a fair review but he did a good job of it.

Enter the portal to be whisked off to the Adventureblog!

UBER CHICLE

In the post Bibimbap is the shizznit a while back I posted about the unfortunate practice of 'affinity scams', where a member (or pretends to be) of an ethnic, religious or professional group takes advantage of perceived and expected trusts to defraud a member of the same group.

On a recent visit to one of the local Asian markets in San Diego I picked up one of the fliers for a particularly heinous scam that targets the Asian community using the social and cultural pressures inherent to an affinity scam. In this post is a real advertisement for a ridiculously expensive miracle rubber that the seller claims will cure whatever ails you. I changed the name of the product, the logos and removed the inventory numbers because I don't want some poor fool looking this quack garbage up and buying it through any leads I might provide.

"Uber Chicle" (as I call it) is basically the rubber of the kind you would find in any wetsuit. In fact, the seller even admits that a wetsuit manufacturer supplies their materials. From the samples I've seen the rubber is clearly mass-produced and bears the typical quality control issues one would find in long sheets of this material such as smeared cement on the edges, seams and frayed threads. While I find the rubber indistinguishable in any way from similar wetsuit material stock the seller claims the Uber Chicle is special in some way. The advertising materials make the usual unsubstantiated nonsense text-salad claims that the special rubber (made from rocks) enriches human cells and recycles the magnetic waves the human body emits (mostly in the infra-red range) all to enable the body to retain the natural biological rhythm. Whatever that means.

This is an example of a woo-woo claim that is clearly immoral if not criminal. These pieces of rubber are sold at high prices using questionable claims of efficacy and healing powers or functions that are nothing short of magical. I worry that people with real illnesses are spending money on this junk believing and hoping it will help cure them of their afflictions. This is a very real concern as sales tactics vary depending on the customer. I have experienced this first-hand. Sales reps will variously ignore, treat with hostility or suspicion or deflect any inquiries I have based on what I presume is my race and a few other factors. Without missing a beat the very same salesperson will pounce upon my wife with spiels about miracle cures and awesome magical properties of whatever device is being sold. Often, it happens while I am standing right beside her.

Keep in mind that the average price for neoprene sheeting is about $25 dollars a yard. There is no shortage of the gullible and desperate. If I was evil, I'd be rich.

Click the picture to mark up 1000%

Sadly, it is very difficult to shut predatory scams of this nature down. This a little fish kind of problem in a very big pond and often the most that would happen is that false advertising charges would be levied, a small fine would be paid and business as usual would continue even if under a different name. Caveat Emptor rules the marketplace. Administrations that should protect consumers often look the other way or are toothless in the face of huge profits and influential dollars flowing into political coffers. The few victims that realize they are scammed are reluctant to file complaints or eagerly go on to the next quack-cure convinced that the next one or the next or the next will work as promised. Attempts by private individuals and Governments to educate the public is a slow process and feels despairingly futile sometimes. Unfortunately for every rational warning there are 500 attention-whoring celebrities praising the magic healing power of a pill, book or magnetic shoe insert.

The fact is, if any of this crap worked as advertised the world if not our marketplace would not be recognizable as it is now. This special knowledge and technology, if it was real, could not be contained or controlled by a select, special or powerful few. As most of the advertising claims the knowledge is everywhere, part of everyone and can be manipulated and touched. It is natural and miraculous and cures all ills. There would be no need for specialists or sales reps as every person on Earth would be at their ultimate potential of health just by common everyday exposure to these natural fantastic elements. Medical science, Doctors and hospitals would exist only so far as to ensure each individual died without pain and with dignity, though a comfortable hospice with a bucket of crystals in each room would conceivably replace the function of the physician in regards to the transitioning soul also. Keeping what is claimed to be so reportedly fundamental out of the hands of the average layman would be like trying to control the secret of making fire 10,000 years after the first bonfire was built and used to cook Mammoth steaks.

Please. If you are sick, visit a Doctor. A real one.

The Arrogant Narcissist

Assuming I can think of anything, read The Arrogant Narcissist every Sunday!

Take it home, Glen

As expected, I lost several subscribers in the hours after I posted my little opinion of Pat Robertson and his twisted, sick, hate-filled, bigoted and insane Cult of Suffering yesterday. I have no real idea who routinely drops in or when they stop doing so beyond the limited amount of tracking I do for the site, but I usually lose a number of the registered 'Followers' whenever I stray too far from the subject of comic books.

So?