Saturday, July 30, 2005

Groin Injury Saturday: Thor

Well, every blog needs a hook, and mine is going to be serious groin injuries. I dunno, I guess I'm like everyone else who thinks that a slam to old skippy is hilarious, as long as it is to someone else. In my investigations, particularly the classic representations of Banana Peel v Geriatric Female, such things are indeed to be found humorous.

From Marvel Comics way back in April 1978 comes an image of super groin damage inflicted on The Mighty Thor by the alien villain Blastaar. In comic terms, you can tell Blastaar is evil because he's ugly and has a Sci-Fi-ish name that describes not only what he does, but where he is from.

On the cover of Thor #270, our hero is taking a pretty serious blast of energy right in...and to keep it in religious terms since I'm writing about a God,...the "hollow of the thigh" (look it up, it's biblical. Angels don't mess around in a fight).

According to the Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe Deluxe Edition (v2, #2, Jan 1986), here after known as the OHotMUDE, Blastaar can release sufficient kinetic force to "penetrate 6 inch thick titanium-overlayed steel from a distance of 25 feet."

Ouch! "Lay down and die" is right.

But who knows, given all the subtext that is rife in comics (re: DC's All-Star Batman and Robin #1) maybe Thor enjoys it. I imagine that having steel-hard, nigh-invulnerable skin doesn't readily lend itself to experiencing the sensations mortals take for granted. This shocking panel from Journey Into Mystery #99 reveals Thor's inability to feel the caresses of his pet human.

Note the smooth way he bails from an awkward situation while at the same time takes his frustration out on Jane Foster and makes her feel worthless. If that isn't God-like behavior I don't know what is!

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1 comment:

  1. Dude, I still have my copy of this one from when I was a kidling (and a shiny replacement)and I love it. I had a hangover in college of such crushing magnitude that the only thing I could compare it to was this cover. "Lay down and die," indeed.

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