Monday, July 13, 2009

'Nuff Gestured

Click image to make handy-sized!

Confused? Frightened of a strange new language? Don't be. Here is the translation for the ASL-impared:

Scene [Daytime, around noon]:

Exterior of a busy suburban grocery store. Adjacent to the doors there are several people loitering. One carries a bucket and shoves it in front of every person going into and out of the store. Change jingles in the bucket. He is disheveled in appearance. A table is set up on the other side of the entrance. Two people, a young man and woman, are asking people to sign a petition and make donations. They appear to be hippies.

A husband and wife walk from their car hand-in-hand towards the entrance. As they approach, the man releases the hand of the woman and begins to speak to her in American Sign Language.
A conversation ensues.

Husband: I think we should fly left. But I think yes to no, no, no.

Wife: What?

Husband: Maybe, maybe. But what do you think about yesterday?

Wife: What?

Husband: True, true. But Mom and Dad do North.

Wife: Are you crazy?

Scene [Interior]:

The husband and wife couple enter the store. The husband pauses for a moment until they are well inside the building and the doors close.

Husband: If all those salesmen and beggars in front of the store think we can't hear, then they won't bother us and we can get into the store without being hassled for signatures and money.

Wife: You are bad!

Husband: Yeah, bad like a FOX!

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