Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Behind The Lasso: The Fall of Wonder Woman

Sure, it's all Yah-Hah Party Time Fun Fun Fun being Wonder Woman. A member of royalty, gorgeous and eternally youthful, she is desired by men, women, assorted pantheons and Alien Space Gorillas. Her life is nothing but a never-ending stream of lucrative endorsements, semi-autobiographical movies and wild bacchanalias interrupted only by the occasional Crisis or battle with a lame super villain. But one fateful evening after mambo-ing on the dance floor she indulges in a little party-favor appetizer "just this one time" and before she knows it Diana is hooked!

Right, Diana. Just keep telling yourself that you can stop anytime you want. Next thing you know your immortality is shot, you start looking more like a lump of clay than a goddess, you've hocked your golden lasso and you are turning tricks on a Metropolis street corner to keep yourself supplied with The Crack.

The sad career path of Diana, Princess of the Amazons

Once Diana hit rock bottom she prayed for the sweet release of death. She planned to end her misery with a spectacular Suicide-By-Super Villain Crossover Event by dating Kyle but he wouldn't return her calls. At least until payday.

1 comment:

  1. Poor Diana. I guess she didn't get enough of those "One to Grow On" clips when she was a child.

    ReplyDelete

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