Sunday, June 04, 2006

When Comic Book Romance Goes Wrong

Oops! That's gotta hurt!

If you have never read this issue, you should. If you have, read it again.

Who's the sex machine with all the chicks?

Just another reason to hate Jimmy. He's a freak.

Find-a-Word puzzle page! Let's see...'spank', 'fetish', 'humiliate'...what else?

Don't even pretend you were 'teaching Lois a lesson', Superman! Silver-Age Lois was all about the subtext.

Krypto can be kind of a bitch.

According to the recent Infinite Crisis series reboot Superman and Power girl are confirmed blood-relatives. Yuck. Good thing Captain Taboo showed up to put a stop to things.

Silly girl! That's what you get for trusting Hitler!

Shotgun divorce or wedding? You pick the ending!

The back up story features 2 women working in a gun factory fighting over a man.

See how the guy is already shielding his groin? Brilliant.

That trick never works! I should know.

They say that to make it, you need talent and ambition.
Well, I got a TV show, and this was my audition:
Umm ... okay ... what was it? ... umm ...
Don't tell me ... Oh, yeah, okay.
"Duck, Magnum, duck!"
- "Cuz I'm A Blonde" by Julie Brown

Man, Scully looks bored.
She's probably been in a war zone for 2 years and can't muster the energy to pretend this is the first time she has heard that line.

Great cover with the looming doors. Kind of a downer, though. This issue must have flown off the shelves because it was probably easier to just leave this book lying around the kid's bedrooms than actually explain why Daddy is living in a hotel.

I bet Silver-Age Supergirl built an entire planet covered with a carefully manicured lawn in order to have a place large enough to store all her fossilized boy toys. Notice how the cover blurb has separated 'Boy' and 'Friend' in order to appear less provacative.
Supergirl doesn't have a boyfriend she is doing 'it' with.
She has a friend who just happens to be a boy and they remain chaste and proper at all times.

She had to be paid to tempt men, because Lord knows, it is extremely difficult to get a sailor to pick up low rent skating rink prostitutes.

Steve Gerber's teddy bear doesn't take rejection well.

- All cover images via the GCD!


  1. Regarding the third cover, the one for Candy, it seems someone is working on the followup:

  2. "It's okay, sir - Lois comes from a planet that spins faster than...I mean, it orbits slower than...I mean, she's from France."

    Silver Age Superman art tends to feature an inordinate number of images in which he's rolling his eyes, smirking, or struggling to keep a straight face. Tricky to draw, yeah, but not exactly heroic.

    Still, Schaffenberger > Byrne, anyday.


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