Concede?

With the recent election of Barack Obama to the Presidency of the United States, many real Americans for America have been asking when I will be conceding the race.

Concede? There is nothing to concede. Many people forget that I have access to amazing technology that allows not only journeys to alternate universes but the ability to travel through time as well.

To suggest that I have "lost" my bid to be President of the United States of America is to ignore the Krofftian resources that I can avail of myself of by a simple visit to the Hayley Mills Celebratory Complex Research and Development warehouses located here in sunny San Diego.

As the ultimate beltway outsider (watching tragedy unfold in this universe on a screen from my home dimension) what was made clear to me was that change was needed. It was obvious that inaction and apathy was dangerous. The work of many players was needed to avoid a terrible future that would rival the downfall of my own people. I could not allow America, and by extension the world, likewise descend into primitive, superstitious and warring tribes as my once enlightened race did. I have seen the futures and they were terrible indeed.

Manipulating events is much simpler on a grand scale than it is to manipulate people. Except for Monkerstein. That was so easy it was embarrassing. Not that the bad guys didn't try to accomplish both. Fortunately, while most people do not succumb to fear and ignorance there are enough who will not light a candle and instead prefer to cower in darkness and gather many around them, to huddle in caves and hide from the light. But many people, canines, frogs and simians and even the inanimate did their part by lifting torches over the land. They sensed that by not moving forwards we would all be taking giant steps backwards. True Americans for Americans could not tolerate such Non-American behavior.

Many entered the race for President. Others supported them. Encouraged in part by their bravery against impossible odds an unprecedented number of people became involved in guiding their own future, all wielding a tiny bit of influence on their surroundings. It was a good fight. One that we won. The anti-progressives tried to re-write the commandments and carved over two hundred of them, not in stone, but the bony, bleached skulls of our founding fathers. Alone, we accomplished little. Yet as the flap of a butterfly's wings can change the weather, how the stupidest movie star can occasionally say something wise and the way that very special issue of Teen Titans featuring Starfire helped crush Apartheid all those hats tossed into the ring disturbed the air enough to create a mighty storm.

Nothing was "lost". It has all gone according to plan.