I'm this many

Today is my birthday.

Yeah, I'm old. Not that old, but I shouldn't be eating a lot of red meat anymore. I eat a lot more salad than I have been and man, vegetables are boring. I'd enjoy my meals a lot more if lettuce had a face and I was confident it screamed when it was slaughtered back at the farm. Look, you can call it harvesting if you want, my palate calls it slaughter. Don't spoil my illusion because it is the only way I can handle eating vegetables all the time without fantasizing about the nutritional benefits of the neighborhood pets.

So another year behind me. I'm an adult now and have been for some time, but there's a young guy inside me who refuses to go down without a fight. Until he gets winded, anyways.

My weaknesses used to be fast women, booze, crap tables, the beach and a high cliff to dive from into the ocean. Now it is stairs.

In honor of my birthday my insurance company sent me a post card informing me that I should schedule an appointment for The Camera Procedure. You know the one. Yeah, I'll do it. Personal health is important and I want live to see my kid grow old and die before I do.* There are some things you just don't delay or avoid no matter how intriguingly nightmarish. I'll do it, but I won't like it. You can bet I'm going to opt to stay awake during the procedure, though. If the Doc finds gold while he is digging I'm going to be alert enough to stake a claim.

* What?