Egnarts Rotcod

Even with the recent successes of Iron Man, Captain America and Thor movies this is about as close as fans will ever get to a Doctor Strange flick, the 1992 direct-to-VHS Doctor Mordrid, Master of the Unknown.

Any comic book fan with even a passing familiarity to the early history of Doctor Strange will recognize this cheesy though enjoyable film as as an adaptation of the classic Doctor Strange vs. Dormamuu story arc as told in the Strange Tales comic book series of the 1960s. This entry into cult film status was an improvement over the 1978 Doctor Strange television movie (as was the Doctor Strange-ish F/X short by animator and filmmaker Mike Jittlov, which I believe was called Doctor Magic or something, which you should watch if you ever get a chance).

As 90s as this movie is there was no moss was growing on lead actor Jeffery Coombs as the Master of the Unknown. He's a great addition to many films and television shows, The Frighteners and Deep Space Nine for a few examples. The reason why Marvel didn't sue the Agamotto out of the production company for DM: TMOTU was because the script was initially intended for another live-action Doc Strange film but was re-written when the option expired.

How to induce a migraine

Watch the trailer for Columbiana.

Created, apparently, by a recent film school grad who watched too much reality tv and video game commercials as a kid. Try to count up to "2 Mississippi" before the scene vibrates and flashes to another, taking a piece of a retina with it.

Pssst! Hey...

Da boys want a chat witchu.

Remember, do you remember...The times of your life

Really. If I never see another movie like The Tree of Life it will be too soon. There are chick-flicks, and then there is this weepy, dull, Kodak moment-filled shallow miasma of an idealized Americana gone wrong only because people are just sad all the damn time that sucked the will to live from my body.

Wife liked it, though.

Can I get a WA-HOOO!

When it comes to movies based on comic book superheroes I am of the opinion that the best I can hope for is it doesn't suck too much. Two or three bad super hero films can kill the genre for about a decade. Look at the 80s for an example.

Fortunately for fans of comic-to-film cinema Marvel has been doing a pretty good job lately in their choices. What helped I think was an overall vision or if you prefer, a story arc. Beginning with Iron Man a connecting theme of sorts has been present all with the goal of maintaining a franchise to culminate in the Avengers movie slated to be released next year. Clearly, a lot is riding on the Marvel characters to pay off in the end and the recent Captain America movie probably did not hurt the studios chances of wrapping up the story with good box office.

I saw Captain America, the First Avenger, The Movie (to use the full official title) in the theater last Monday and I was pretty impressed. It exceeded my expectations that the movie not be merely OK which is about all I really want from a super hero flick. While I really enjoyed the film I did accidentally pick the 3D version from the hard to navigate sun-washed touch-screen kiosk outside the box office, so ouch to my eyes. The 3D was alright but it is not my entertainment viewing preference.

The film was fun, exciting and the producers didn't get stupid with the script or go cheap which is the death of any comic book film (for instance the 1990 Cap). Production values were high and there were plenty of Easter eggs to delight the geeks like myself such as the Human Torch android safely sealed in a vacuum tube and the Arnim Zola giant face in the monitor. Chris Evans and Hugo Weaving as Captain America and the Red Skull were pretty great. Wisely, a young Nick Fury was not included.

The film managed to acknowledge the entire published and cinematic history of Captain America and as a fan I was pleased it did not ignore the contributions of Simon and Kirby among other creative teams. Honestly though, I thought the 1990s Red Skull mask was superior to the one worn by Weaving. The 2011 Red Skull had smooth and flawless skin. I expected more veins, raw exposed teeth and muscles similar to the one worn by Scott Paulin in the 1990 film.
The initial Hydra spy foot chase could have benefited from some tighter editing and the musical number, with Cap punching co-splay Hitler was a nice scene that set the stage for the journey from propaganda jester to hero. Also, a nice touch was that Captain America was made in a process that meant more than the physical aspect as a pre-super soldier Steve Rogers obsessively studied militarily history and tactics. It was clear that not just anyone could be Captain America, something that the comic books has addressed for decades. That the Nazis were only incidental to the film and Hydra was the big bad initially caused some story concern for me. What is Cap without Nazis? But it became clear that the Nazis were petty, venal thugs with limited vision and ability. In recent cinema (after the 1940s) this idea was also put forth in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. The fate of the Red Skull is pretty obvious and I'd be surprised if he doesn't make an appearance in the Avengers film or a Cap sequel. Bucky was also set up to make a return as the Winter Soldier if the fan interest is there.

So as a lead in to The Avengers and as a stand alone film I was not disappointed with Captain America: The First Avenger. Most of all, are you listening, Marvel? This film I would pay to see again.

WORST. MATTE PAINTING. EVER.

When Worlds Collide (1958).

So that's where he got his start

Watched the classic 1965 film Planet of the Vampires last night and as ever was amused by the look of the unusual pressure suits worn by the cast with the impractical high collars, helmets, bulky gloves and stiff joints.

When the credits ran I discovered who the costume designer was. It all makes sense now.

Green Lantern movie review

Didn't hate it. Which is probably the most I can hope for in a super-hero movie, that it isn't too terrible.

Anyway, here's a piece of art copyright Fred Hembeck featuring Nova kicking Hal's butt, originally from RBCC #150 (1978).

Hmm. This art needs a script...

Panel 1: "Hey, Ring Slinger Lad! What's this about you hitting on my girl Ginger? She's only 16!"

Panel 2: "She looks 28!"

Panel 3: "Eat Nova-fist, jerk! Eat it through your heart!"

Panel 4: "Daddy!"

Yeah. That was more fun than the movie.

You Can Count On Me, Eventually

Finally got around to creating my own fan-made Spider-Man movie main title sequence. I've been meaning to do this since 2002 and kept putting it off. Was it worth the wait? Absolutely.

Original title sequence created by Kyle Cooper of Imaginary Forces and copyright Columbia Pictures 2002. Original score by Danny Elfman replaced by Count On Me, performed by William Kirkland from the classic album Spider-Man: Rock Reflections of a Superhero. I was always disappointed that songs from the 70s album never made it to the big screen. This video corrects that error. Count On Me is a bit more exciting and upbeat than the fantastic though ominous Elfman score.

Sharp-eyed viewers may notice the omission of a certain someone from the credits.

A really, really, really lazy Sunday post nearly a decade in the making.

Five Great Christmas Movies

Here's my personal list of the five best Christmas movies ever! These films are not presented in any order of preference but it has been a long-standing mandatory tradition in my house that the Christmas movie we all watch together is the 1988 holiday opus Die Hard, possibly the greatest Christmas-themed film ever made.

1) Hogfather (Have you been naughty...Or nice?)

2) Die Hard ("Now I have a machine gun. Ho Ho Ho")

3) Christmas Vacation ("MRRR-OW!")

4) Emmett Otter's Jug-band Christmas ("No one oils their snakes anymore!")

5) How the Grinch Stole Christmas (Pooh-pooh to the Whos!)

The Third Man Theme

So the 1949 film The Third Man is to blame for the proliferation of all those Zithers in schools all over the nation. I don't believe there was one classroom anywhere in the United States in the 1970s that didn't have at least one vintage Zither sitting on a shelf.  Where are all those millions of Zithers today? Sitting in landfills leeching toxic chemicals in our ground water? Precariously stacked 15 feet high in a forgotten storage closet in some elementary school, waiting to tumble down accompanied by tragic yet hilarious noises on the vulnerable and unsuspecting heads of curious children exploring the auditorium? Shipped to puzzled children of developing nations as critical teaching supplies? Cool tune, though.

The Zither is a fine example of vintage Trend Ort.

As partial evidence that there was a Zither craze that swept the nation once upon a time here is a comic book advertisement from Love Letters #10 (1951).

Boy God

Roco, Ang Batang Bato (aka Stone Boy, Boy God) from 1983.

Sticky Fingers (1988)

Dangerous Flowers

aka, "Chai Lai's Angels".

Yeah, I'm getting this on my birthday. You had me at "sexy towel fight on escalator."

5 Fingers

Been watching a lot of noir lately and came across this poster for the movie 5 Fingers (1952).

Poster art seems to be a lost skill these days as research shows that big giant, recognizable heads heads on a display is what sells tickets and DVDs. Compare the original 5 Fingers poster with the DVD packaging for the 2006 remake Five Fingers, loosely-based upon the original.

But it isn't the evolution of movie art that moves me today. Fashion is. The original 5 Fingers poster inspired me to make a proof-of-concept glove inspired by the poster.

I could totally see some hot, dangerous, billiards-playing woman wearing a glove with LUST, GREED, PASSION, DESIRE and SIN embroidered on the fingers in heavy, silver metallic thread. Any wolf that got fresh with her would end up having those words bruise-embossed into his forehead.

Hmm. This idea will probably be ripped off and for sale in a Hot Topic or an Etsy store within the month.

Unholy Wife

The Unholy Wife (1957).

Jonah Hex alternate ending script revealed!

As promised here is my script for an alternate ending to the recent Jonah Hex film. Previously, I playfully chose my favorite Jonah Hex comic book stories that if used could have made a better movie and may have made enough cash to allow a sequel.

While the inclusion of those classic tales would have resulted in a substantially different movie my script makes no changes to the plot of the film as it was released theatrically. This alternate ending embraces the supernatural aspects of the story that confused and disappointed so many fans. The ending makes perfect sense in the manner in which Jonah would exploit his powers and I believe my ending to Jonah Hex would have completely redeemed the entire film. Read it and see what you think.

So go ahead, keep this script in your mind and mentally edit the final scene to include my ending when you watch the DVD. It will undoubtedly be released as soon as possible. Y'know, pard'ner, I'll slap leather using my version up against any deleted scene or alternate ending the DVD might possibly include. I bet I shoot the straightest.

Click the script and get yer spectacles on...Thar's word-readin' involved!

And that, pard'ner, is how you do it.

Jonah Hex and characters copyright DC Comics. Idea and story by Sleestak.

Top Ten Jonah Hex Comic Book Tales That Would Have Made The Movie Awesome

Saw the Jonah Hex movie at the theater yesterday on Sunday and here's my review: What a load of rubbish.

This flick really needed to be more Once Upon a Time in the West and less Wild Wild West. Much like how the 2009 Land of the Lost adaptation failed with a new generation of consumers I sincerely doubt that anyone introduced to the character by this movie will be at all interested in Jonah Hex in the future. I kept thinking I had nodded off without realizing it and missed parts of the story, which would kind of go with most of the other reviews stating that much of the film had ended up in the wastebasket of the editing room. Josh Brolin did a good job but didn't seem mean enough in that Justin Gray manner from the most recent comic book series I've come to appreciate.

My least favorite part of the movie was the the speaking to the dead aspect. I found it a sorry short-cut to fleshing out the actual story. Why ride around all over the country chasing down the villain when in the space of a few minutes all the answers could be had via a seance? Because travel from Point A to Point B in the 1800s took months if not years. It wouldn't do to have Jonah ride from Texas to Missouri to Washington dogging Turnbull when he could just grope a dead body. Of course the long protracted chase worked just fine in The Outlaw Josey Wales, but what do I know.

As a Hex fan from his first appearance way back in the 1970s I disliked the film because it just wasn't very good as it was presented. It left out all the characterization that made Jonah Hex what he is and portrayed him as much more of a super-hero then even the Fleisher-penned issues of the 1980s did. Josh Brolin whipped his gray poncho around more than Christian Bale did his Bat-cape in The Dark Knight.

The end of the film? I absolutely expected President Grant to light a fire under the focusing lens of the Hex Signal Lantern, calling the Gray Knight to Washington DC to tussle with El Papagayo, who is poisoning the water supply and making all the fish look like parrots. My advice is to leave the Wild West Batman to Grant Morrison.

As for Megan Fox, her acting isn't up to the role of Talulah Black even with it being written as weak as it was. The time when an audience would pay to see Megan Fox bend over an engine or foot stool or something in a film is several years past and other than that she did not bring much to Jonah Hex. Talulah should have at least been presented as trapped and weary and Megan just acted scorned and heart-sick for a daddy-figure. Honestly, this film could have had the potential to do for Megan Fox what Monster did for Charlize Theron even though Fox is no where nearly as talented as Theron. Imagine how different the film would have been had they made Fox up as the comic book version of Talulah Black, ravaged and angry?

Matching Dragoons, the best Jonah Hex blog there is, has a roundup of reviews to read. First, check out MD's review: Official Jonah Hex Review. He approaches it as an unabashed and unapologetic fan of Jonah who I believe is is just glad something about the character got made, regardless of whether it meets his personal criteria for being good or not (I feel the same way about many science fiction films). Then go browse his collection of critiques of the film from around the web: Some Jonah Hex reviews are in. Once you get done reading those, come back for my list of Top Ten Jonah Hex Comic Book Tales That Would Have Made The Movie Awesome.

I feel your pain, Sarge.

Understandably, the story of Quentin Turnbull and how Jonah received his scars are the tales that must serve as the main impetus for the film. That dynamic should be the focus, not a throw-away scene giving a reason for Hex to hate Quentin. In the comic book Hex was falsely accused and trapped and the one thing that really saved him for all those years was time and distance from Turnbull. It was difficult to track Jonah over thousands of untamed miles of territory. What could have been different about the film is some of they story elements. Instead of the science fiction and supernatural aspects that were used to make things "cool" here are some Jonah Hex stories that could have been reworked and successfully included in the film.

1: Promise to a Princess from his first appearance in Weird Western Tales #12 (July 1972). Jonah saves the life of the daughter of a Native American chief, only to have her and the tribe die of a disease abetted by a greedy landowner. Included in the film, this story of corruption and evil could have been one of Jonah's motivations for hunting Turnbull down and the villain could still have been portrayed as a terrorist.

2: The Hangin' Woman from Weird Western Tales #17 (May 1973). This superficially resembles the Clint Eastwood movie High Plains Drifter. I could see Jonah fighting alone against Turnbull and the town of variously cowed and nasty citizens High Noon style.

3: Death of a Bounty Hunter from Weird Western Tales #34 (June 1976). What this classic tale would be used for is the ultimate fate of Turnbull after the big showdown. Basically, Jonah would let Turnbull destroy his gang and himself (just prior to the mandatory scene where he tries to shoot Jonah in the back and then gets plugged, letting Jonah make a action hero quip just before the credits).

4: The Holdout from Jonah Hex #11 (v1, April 1978). This issue is perfect for the Tallulah Black story (assuming she would not appear in the sequel) and one that reportedly caused some friction between the creative team members. Allegedly, the artist did not think Jonah should kiss a dead woman goodbye and either had to comply or another artist drew the scene. This issue also noteworthy for the Crucifixion scene. All the villains could have been reworked to be a part of Turnbull and his cronies.

5: The Massacre of the Celestials! from Jonah Hex #23 (v1, April 1979). Include a vengeful Turnbull in a story of the railroad barons and race-relations and you've got a winner.

6: The Gunfight at Murphysburg! from Jonah Hex #32 (v1, January 1980). The best Jonah Hex stories are when he is caught between a town of frightened citizens and the bad guys.

7: The Fort Charlotte Brigade! from Jonah Hex #35 (v1, April 1980) and Return to Fort Charlotte from Jonah Hex #36 (May 1980). This two-part tale reveals the entire back story of why Quentin Turnbull wrongfully hates Jonah Hex. Partly told in a flashback it could have been two movies for the price of one!

8: Jonah Hex: Two Gun Mojo #1-5 (August 1993): If you go supernatural with Jonah then go all the way. This is a gritty, mean series and one of Jonah's first forays into the mystic for the character.

9: Jonah Hex: Riders of the Worm and Such #1-5 (March 1995): Jonah Hex, steam-punk and ancient horror. Done properly this would have messed-up an audience for life. The video game tie-in sales for this version would have been crazy huge.

10: The Ballad of Talulah Black, Part 1 from Jonah Hex #16 (v2, April 2007) & The Ballad of Talulah Black, Part 2 from Jonah Hex #17 (v2,May 2007. While the brutal attack and mutilation of Talulah may have been difficult to portray this tale is most reminiscent of another Clint Eastwood film, Unforgiven, except the victim goes on her own mission of justice instead of hiring someone else. Reworked so Jonah Hex and Talulah are a team getting revenge on Turnbull would have been fantastic.

On a final note, just how great would this page from The Last Bounty Hunter! (Jonah Hex Spectacular, DC Special Series #16, 1978) have been as the final scene in the Jonah Hex movie? What a great setup for the sequel it would have been. To repeat: WOULD. HAVE. BEEN.

Who?

Got sent this yesterday by a pal who works at BBC America (he/she is the one who gets me all those awesome DVDs for the new UK shows). if true, all I can say is: Holy. Crap.

From the press release:

Who Is Johnny Depp?

International film star Johnny Depp has been confirmed to play the part of time traveling Doctor Who in the big screen treatment of the same name slated for a Summer 2012 release. The wildly successful science fantasy television program Doctor Who has been a staple of British TV since the early 1960s. Syndicated internationally, the show about an exiled Lord of Time has seen a resurgence in recent years, particularly among the audiences of the United States where the show has enjoyed high-ratings on BBC America and the SyFy Channel.

Long-time producer of the television series Russell T. Davies reported that the reason he moved on from the show was due to the opportunity to transform the Doctor to the big screen. "Bringing the Who franchise to the theaters is a regeneration for the character beyond the usual one. A theatrical release has a greater range and can reach millions of more people than just the fans. There will be brand new concepts and the film will be just as adventurous, scary and humorous as the television programme. But none of us working the film will forget what makes the character great and interesting and the long-time fans will not be disappointed because yes, the Daleks make an appearance."

In a telephone interview actor Johnny Depp was brief about the project due to contractual obligations, however he revealed some choice plot twists: "The Doctor will absolutely have a serious romance. I can not reveal who my co-star is yet but I'm told she is a strong, lovely actress that everyone knows and is perfect for the part." Johnny Depp revealed one other aspect of the Doctor, that of his secret past: "The Doc is always portrayed as this mysterious Demi-God. Russell has penned this wonderful, exciting script that humanizes this all-powerful alien. The Doctor is actually given a name in the film, I'm told he never really has one. He also acts like a Physician in more than just his title. He's called The Doctor for a reason. His mission is to journey through time and space with a crew of volunteers treating humanity's illnesses brought on by invading aliens. He cures the bubonic plague and then goes to Africa to fight Ebola. The film will be very human and relevant and have a great message."

Doctor Who begins filming in 2011 for a Summer 2012 release.

Money to burn

Pictured here is the front and reverse of one of the faux bills used when filming a scene of the 1992-1997 syndicated television show Renegade. This show was mostly filmed in and around San Diego, California. As far as I can tell it was left behind as litter after filming the episode Ransom that originally aired on December 6, 1996.

A vacant book store on C Street in downtown San Diego was used to film the episode, which was about a series of bank robberies. Apparently the script called for an explosion of some sort to take place. I have never watched an episode of Renegade so I can't tell if explosions were a common occurrence but I suspect they were. When the bank inevitably exploded faux money and other movie magic debris was blown out onto the street providing, I assume, a scene where the bad guy watched his cash go up in flames while Lorenzo Lamas and his sidekick high-fived each other. While the crew did a decent job of cleaning up the area after the shoot completed a large number of these bills where dispersed through the air over the vicinity. I found the bill pictured above on B Street while coming to work the morning after the television shoot, a neat little piece of San Diego movie history.

On a side note it was interesting to observe people fight each other as they discovered a bill fluttering past them on the street. I imagine there was a short though brisk market for them as street-predators sold the fake bills to to an addled or unsuspecting victim for pennies on the dollar. Knowing cashiers as I do I also speculate that more than a few of the movie bills were successfully used in transactions at local businesses.