HEY, Y'ALL! STFU AND READ!

READ THEN LISTEN

February 26, 2012

Dispatcher: Sanford Police Department.

Zimmerman: Hey we’ve had some break-ins in my neighborhood, and there’s a real suspicious guy, uh, Retreat View Circle, um, the best address I can give you is 111 Retreat View Circle. This guy looks like he’s up to no good, or he’s on drugs or something. It’s raining and he’s just walking around, looking about.

Dispatcher: OK, and this guy is he white, black, or Hispanic?

Zimmerman: He looks black.

Dispatcher: Did you see what he was wearing?

Zimmerman: Yeah. A dark hoodie, like a grey hoodie, and either jeans or sweatpants and white tennis shoes. He’s [unintelligible], he was just staring…

Dispatcher: OK, he’s just walking around the area…

Zimmerman: …looking at all the houses.

Dispatcher: OK…

Zimmerman: Now he’s just staring at me.

Dispatcher: OK, you said it’s 1111 Retreat View? Or 111?

Zimmerman: That’s the clubhouse…

Dispatcher: That’s the clubhouse, do you know what the–he’s near the clubhouse right now?

Zimmerman: Yeah, now he’s coming towards me.

Dispatcher: OK.

Zimmerman: He’s got his hand in his waistband. And he’s a black male.

Dispatcher: How old would you say he looks?

Zimmerman: He’s got button on his shirt, late teens.

Dispatcher: Late teens ok.

Zimmerman: Somethings wrong with him. Yup, he’s coming to check me out, he’s got something in his hands, I don’t know what his deal is.

Dispatcher: Just let me know if he does anything ok

Zimmerman: How long until you get an officer over here?

Dispatcher: Yeah we’ve got someone on the way, just let me know if this guy does anything else.

Zimmerman: Okay. These assholes they always get away. When you come to the clubhouse you come straight in and make a left. Actually you would go past the clubhouse.

Dispatcher: So it’s on the left hand side from the clubhouse?

Zimmerman: No you go in straight through the entrance and then you make a left…uh you go straight in, don’t turn, and make a left. Shit he’s running.

Dispatcher: He’s running? Which way is he running?

(Sound of Truck Door Opening/Closing)

Zimmerman: Down towards the other entrance to the neighborhood.

Dispatcher: Which entrance is that that he’s heading towards?

Zimmerman: The back entrance…fucking [unintelligible]

Dispatcher: Are you following him?

Zimmerman: Yeah.

Dispatcher: Ok, we don’t need you to do that.

Zimmerman: Ok.

A few minutes later...

Independence Day PSA for 2013

Hey, while you are all out and about this July 4th and adjacent days the holiday is being observed I would really appreciate if this Independence Day I could have independence from bonehead drivers. My wife is driving to work during the evening. So if any of you want to watch the pretty sparkles in the sky pull over, don't abruptly slow down to a crawl or stop on the highway every year, like so many of you idiots do.

You know who you are so no, I'm not going to be nice about it. If having spouse almost die in a wreck because you really shouldn't be driving anything more dangerous than a Radio Flyer prompts me to be impolite so be it and screw you.

Monday with Hayley Mills: 20 to LIFE

Photo of actor Hayley Mills for a multi-page feature of celebrities by veteran LIFE photographer Gjon Mili.

Cover photo for the 2nd part of the story Communism by Ralph Morse. The cover price of this slickly-printed high-quality magazine in 1961 was 20 cents which, coincidentally enough, was what a human life in Vietnam was worth in that same year.