Saturday, February 11, 2006

Groin Injury Saturday: Robin

Robin whips out the ultimate crime-fighting weapon in his arsenal...

His groin.

Silly robbers! Note how Rollo has already sucumbed to the power of Robin's bat-groin, pulling his hat down over his eyes lest the glory blind him. Overwhelmed, he sinks into unconsciousness, and from a near miss, I might add. Observe the fear etched deep in Mugsy's features. He knows that his own small weapon tremulously clutched in his sweaty fist, is nothing against the groin hurtling towards him and he withers as he faces the high-speed approach of the boy crotch. The fight is over before it truly begins. Uhhhhh, indeed, Mugsy. You poor fool.

Criminals are a homophobic and cowardly lot.

The hapless soda-jerk is hypnotized by the sight. The battle that took place in his shop that day will be an epic tale he will someday tell to someone else's grandchildren. He will surely have no progeny of his own, as once he was faced with Robin's groin, he will have no need for the opposite sex. Just ask Batman, he'll tell you.

For years to come people and tourists will drive from miles away to hear the proprietor sing the saga of Robin's crotch and the fateful time that evil was defeated by the newest and most potent weapon of the Bat-arsenal: The...dare I say it...Batawang.

Best of all, it's CCA approved!

from World's Finest v1, #184 (May 1969)

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