Sunday, June 29, 2008

Comic Books vs. Real Life

In Military Comics #25 (January 1944) the leader of the Blackhawks is captured by enemy soldiers and placed in bondage. After knocking out the lone, incompetent guard who was assigned to watch him, Blackhawk frees himself by lighting on fire the wooden stocks keeping him immobile and burning himself free.

Since this is a comic book scene and not real life Blackhawk burns off his fetters, escapes the dungeon and goes on to blow up the Nazi castle or something and punches Mussolini in the face.

But what would really happen if someone really tried to light on fire a wooden stockade in which they are imprisoned in order to escape? I think it would go something like this:

In real life Blackhawk dies horribly in the escape attempt and all his compatriots later die by firing squad. With Blackhawk and his team not around to put a halt to the nefarious plans of the Fifth Column the world collapses under the armored fist of the Japanese Imperial Navy and pretty soon we all have to live in Switzerland and hope we don't get sold back to the Nazis by government officials for profit.

So there you go, kids. don't set yourself on fire.

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