Friday Catblogging: Queen of the LOLPANTHER World

Nice pulp illustrations from Queen of the Panther World, from Fantastic Adventures (July 1948).

Art by Rod Ruth. LOL by Sleestak.

Science has made that which "might be" into "can't possibly" but it hasn't removed all the magic. The old stories of the pulps and comic books are still enjoyable, though the modern reader does not experience them with the same naivety of eyes past. Pulps and even the comic books of a few scant decades ago have to be read through a filter of nostalgia in order to see them in the proper light or else they run the risk of being dismissed. The pulps have not vanished, though and still persist in another form to this day. Almost without exception comic books are pulps. It is rare that any comic book story can be read that doesn't have sitting on a collector's shelf somewhere a yellowed, brittle magazine that is a direct ancestor.

The old pulp stories can be considered quaint and even silly, but who wouldn't enjoy discovering an ancient tribe of Panther Women in an unexplored jungle?

Whether exploring a new continent or strange planet, the pulps were all about adventure, exploration and discovery and were thematically a direct reflection of the American and British psyche in the modern industrial era. Regardless of the risk or danger something was always learned in the pulp stories that added to the collective knowledge of mankind. No matter if the protagonist battled a tentacled god or fended off the knife of a power hungry Vizier there was always some illumination, some insight either into the nature of man or the universe to be gained.

Often the tales were simply parables of Modern Good versus Ancient Evil. New ways replacing the old. Science replacing superstition. Methodology proving to be more effective than spells.

Possibly the only drawback to increased general knowledge among the populace is that it made the suspension of disbelief that much more difficult to enjoy. It is Science that filled the vast caverns of Pellucidar with molten iron, made Mars into an arid, lifeless wasteland and transformed the lush jungles of Venus into an acidic cauldron. Force fields no longer emanate from the careless flecks of paint on a jar lid to trap a city, old gods do not perch hungrily at the edge of the atmosphere waiting impatiently for the opportunity to access our sphere, aliens no longer abduct women to repopulate their planet. Knowing that there are no lost continents left to discover or no multi-generational world-ships hidden in orbit makes some dismiss the old tales as fare for children or the intellectually challenged. I say not so. They have value beyond only the nostalgic and historical. Some 80 years after being in print the pulps are still fun, even if I know they are utterly impossible, something as a young child I was not aware of. The stories were from a time when people believed that a galaxy could be conquered with ships of steam and steel by brave men bearing iron while wearing leather and wool. The impossible was a fantasy.

Science may have destroyed more worlds than we will ever realize, but it made the ones that remain and those that are yet to be created a lot more exciting and fun. It is fictional evolution. Modern creators have to reach further, work harder to fool us into enjoying the impossible or embracing the fantastic.

Tags: Pulp Catblogging

Grocery Store Artifact: Subliminal packaging

For some undefined reason, I wanted to purchase the entire shelf stock of these gloves. The packaging just caught my eye and viscerally tugged at me in some way that urged me to buy it. I guess I was pretty appreciative of the prospect of being able to firmly grip and repeatedly wring a taper of rag in order to get rid of excess filth while at the same time keeping mine or someone else' hands perfectly clean and unsoiled.

However, I eventually departed the store store without purchasing any of the gloves. Oddly enough, my wife had a sudden headache and didn't want to do any more shopping.

Tags: Grocery Store Artifact Subliminal Advertising

Laura the Ball Erina

Cheap Barbie knock-off found at a store in San Diego. In that costume Laura the Ball Erina resembles less a highly-skilled dancer and more a Trailer Trash Honeymoon Barbie.

Don't third-world sweat-shop factories using children, criminals and political prisoners as forced labor have spell-check and formatting plug-ins in their toy design dungeons?

I don't know if that label is a description or an instruction.

Tags: Toys

Sleestak Reviews: Transformers

I despise everything about the marketing infomercials of the 80s cartoons that so many people seem to be enamored of. He-Man, G.I. Joe and the Transformers are on my never-watch list. I found the stories idiotic, the animation poor and the mandated moralizing annoying. The Turtles, while fully in that classification, get a pass because they were a comic magazine first, long before characters were created for the sole purpose of licensing deals.

So I was surprised to discover I had a lot of fun at the movie. Michael Bay has received a lot of criticism as a director and rightly so. But if you want someone to do little more than film chase scenes and blow crap up then he is your guy.

Transformers started out great with an assault on a military base that you knew was coming, but was still awesome. Giant robots blowing crap up is what I wanted to see and it is what I got. My main problem with the film is that Bay didn't stick with the one concept. The first part of the film was exciting, hard core alien invasion science fiction but it then quickly changed into much more of a children's movie. The Spielbergian gremlin-bot didn't help matters any and as the comic relief the homicidal jester-droid was derivative.

The old cliche of the primary witnesses or initial-contact combat squad being involved because they may have "unique insight" into the threat was in full play here. Understandable for Sam because of his connection with one of the aliens, not so much for the soldiers. Once they give their report to the brass they would really be folded into another unit and would not be leading a 6-man assault against an invasion. There were some genuinely funny moments and others that made you roll your eyes and wish you had a fast-forward button to get past those parts.

One of the bonuses was that the presence of the Transformers on Earth was not a secret for long. One of my main peeves with some science fiction, particularly of some cartoon series, is that the general public is never aware of a war going on in their streets and always just happen to avoid seeing an alien ship or giant humanoid robots warring with the other.

The film was pretty fun. And yes, Jazz. The black guy always dies in the movies.

Tags: Transformers

Monkey vs. Tiger

Cool Golden Age story from Calling All Kids #19 (June 1948) of a sadistic monkey ridding the jungle of an equally sadistic tiger. From the publishers of Parent's Magazines, this is another late-Golden Age strip that appears to have had the ending sanitized for the sake of the kiddies. According to the classic tales this short comic story is derived from the tiger meets a horrible death through drowning. Even in the comic the scene is basically unchanged from the original tale and the fate of the big cat isn't really in doubt.

Click the picture for some serious Monkey Business!

Tags: Monkeypocalypse Monkey vs. Tiger Golden Age

Gibson Girls

What are Gibson Girls made of? Sugar and spice and a dash of Rowr!

Kodachrome photography by William Ward from Calling All Girls #69, v8 (January 1948).

Tags: Advertisment Retro

Julie, embrace your destiny, whatever it is

So...

Little Julie Power, the feisty girl who makes up one fourth of the kiddie super-team the Power Pack, the girl who can fly and leaves a pretty, sparkling trail of light in her wake that resembles a rainbow...
Grows up to be...you know...

So I wonder how accepted the current all-ages Power Pack books would be to parents if they knew that Julie is predestined to become...you know...

Hey, if Marvel isn't willing to say it then I'm not, either.

I wonder if Marvel is tip-toeing around the subject of...you know...so they have a different sort of "out" for Julie later on if the editors decide to go the other way, so to speak.

"You thought I was what? Whatever gave you the idea I was..you know..that way?"

Images from The Avengers & Power Pack Assemble! #1 (June 2006) and The Loners #4(September 2007).

Tags: Seduction of the Innocent Gay Homophobia

Time is a raging something, that's for sure

In issue #13 of The All-New Atom #13 (September 2007) Gail Simone and the gang gives the readers an image for the girls (and some guys) that will undoubtedly be posted and dissected for meaning on some sort of out-of-context comic book website forty years from now.

Subliminal? Not so much. Subtle? Nope. Chronos gets creepy when Gail & Team slaps the reader right across the face with the idea that heroes and villains do what they do not for the nebulous concepts of right or wrong, but because it helps them scratch an itch. Why else would someone who can bend time, warp space or control the weather rob a jewelry store?

Limitless Power = Eternal Erection?

It isn't a new idea. Moore, Ellis and others have explored the concept. Even Mike Grell hinted that the Black Canary only wore her fishnet togs* because it helped Ollie in the bedroom after a battle. Thankfully, the creative team didn't have the bad guy doing pelvic thrusts and humping legs like they do with the evil Doctor Light whenever he shows up.

Note: Gail Simone is made of gold Awesomite.

Tags: Seduction of the Innocent Gail Simone All-New Atom

* If you don't get goosebumps from that reference, you have no comic book geek cred and are a comic book poser. The worst of all possible posers.

Thursday Night Thinking: Tune In, Turn On, Drop Out

Diamondrock knows the feeling of a brain vibrating and pulsing against the hard shell-like interior of his skull.

From Terror Tales #35 (1976).

Tags: Thursday Night Thinking

When comic books were not for girls! Part 5

Millie was a professional woman pursuing a career in the fashion business that was often derailed by her zany adventures with lots and lots and lots and lots of men. Millie went through men fast, often several in an issue. Rich, poor, powerful, average, handsome or ugly, Millie dated them all with no thought to keeping them separate from her career. Millie often lost or ruined modeling assignments due to her wacky adventures with a beau. Sometimes her personal relationship with a man would "just happen" to get her a good fashion gig, and you know what that means.

In 1956 date rape was funny and even comic books written for girls were not for girls!

Millie the Model #56 (October 1956).

Tags: When comic books were not for girls! Seduction of the Innocent

It's out of context, but not by much

From Jeep Comics #2 (Spring 1945).

Tags: Seduction of the Innocent

Happy July 4th!

I'm celebrating the real Independence Day for America about a year and a half early. Soon, we will rebuild.

Tags: Independence Day

And the beavers shall bow down before me

When I saw this post on the Modern Mechanix blog about the attempts to make forcibly relocated beavers feel more at home by painting a wildlife scene on the walls of their enclosure I immediately thought of this scene from X-Men & Alpha Flight #1 (December 1985):

I kind of like the idea that the beavers held at the zoo for the gawking amusement of humans may have worshiped the viewing public that mysteriously hovered high in their "sky" as mighty Gods and trembled before them.

Tags: Animals

And thank God I'm only watching the game, controlling it ...

Decider Boi just gets dumber and dumber, doesn't he? But then, all the Cheynanigans over the last few weeks has just confirmed my long-held opinion that Junior is just a not-so-clever simulation of a leader controlled by others.


Tags: President Bush & Scooter Libby

Calling All Meddlesome Girls!

I love the illustration styles that were common in the children's books and magazines of the 40s, 50s and 60s. They were imaginative and stylized. I particularly enjoy this two page title art for the story The Puzzle of Picture Point.

Pages from Calling All Girls (April 1960).
Art by Leonard Slonevsky.

It is just so Nancy Drew. Plucky ingenues investigating a mystery confronted by an anonymous, menacing figure. The layout is great and many artists of today could learn something about composition from it. The background of the lake shore assists in setting the scene and promoting a sense of danger. The reeds and rushes makes it appear the wet-suited visitor is radiating menace at the curious girls. In fact, the aura of danger is the strongest element of the entire scene and is in high contrast to and overwhelms the three other figures.

There is something fun to be said for the art of magazines and books aimed at the suburban kid market of a few decades past. It was naive and innocent. There were no 'issues' to be dealt with. No temptation, no war and draft-dodging or corrupt officials and people didn't recycle. Those things may as well have been in another universe. Kids got involved, didn't poop where they slept and did the right thing out of respect for what was right. Those were the days that never were and I miss them. Who wouldn't want to live on Pine Street over Peyton Place or for that matter, in the town of Deery?

The idealized suburban world depicted in magazines like Calling All Girls and Boy's Life was pretty exciting. Crime was everywhere, even in the smallest town, but it was crime without any real physical danger, it was crime in the abstract. The villains often surrendered without a fight when confronted by the truthful words of children. The entire modern cliche' of the 'meddlesome kids' solving mysteries can be traced through to these stories (which goes even back further to comics, pulps and the children's novels of the 1900s). They were fun. Imagine if when the Beav got stuck in the giant coffee cup he discovered a cache of stolen plastics molds hidden there by an industrial espionage ring* instead of merely suffering embarrassment.

In many of these stories though, the menace was actually revealed to be benign. The mysteries were often resolved to be in truth a case of misunderstood intentions as the protagonists stumbled upon some honest, hard-working college professor who was working in secret unearthing a pirate treasure or something else that would enhance the standing of the community and enrich the local history.

Tags: Illustration Mystery Meddlesome Girls

* A Leave it to Beaver and a Hardy Boys reference!

Comic Book Propaganda: War makes you pretty!

Way back in World War 2 when Russia was an American ally this two-page story about the career of Russia's celebrated sniper, Ludmilla Pavlichenko, appeared in War Heroes #3 (January-March 1943).

It is interesting to note how many times Ludmilla's attractiveness was mentioned, as if war was the secret of eternal youth and being smeared with the mud of the European trenches was better than a day at the spa. A WW2 era photo of Ludmilla reveals that the reality does not quite match the beauty queen image perpetuated by her handlers and related propaganda, but then all things being relative she may have been considered quite easy on Russian eyes of the time, as she does have a sort of a sweaty, gritty Ingrid Bergman look about her from the film For Whom the Bell Tolls.

It is a bit chilling how matter-of-factly her exploits are described to the young children who would be reading this title. The story points out that her actual body-count is much higher than the 309 Germans she is credited for because any Romanians that Ludmilla ambushed is not part of her official total. The Romanian soldiers were coldly declared to be mere practice targets.

The story stresses how important it was to diminish the number of German soldiers through attrition. As the comic books of the Golden Age enthusiastically perpetuated, the German military was the bogeyman legion, the big public face of pure evil. With the exception of the Japanese military, the soldiers of other armies were not as important as the Germans even though they were also armed and trained in warfare. In reality, to any allied soldier in the European theater any member of an opposing army was a deadly threat. But for propaganda purposes, the soldiers of other armies were incidental objects on the field of battle that were marginalized and relegated to the status of paper bulls-eyes tacked to a bale of hay.

Whatever the truth is behind Ludmilla's career as a sniper she seems to have been quickly removed from the battle field and used as a propaganda tool, going on tours and getting lots of face time with various leaders as an example of how egalitarian Communism could be. Ludmilla Pavlichenko also seems to be the inspiration for the character of sniper Tania Chernova, played by Rachel Weisz in the film Enemy at the Gates.

Tags: Propaganda

What sort of man reads Pulps?

This comic book advertisement from Movie Comics #1 (December 1946) complete with smoking jacket-wearing Hef could be the spiritual precursor to the classic 'What sort of man reads Playboy' print ads that would appear in the adult magazine Playboy several years later.

Tags: Comic Book Ad

Luckily, there was a boy nearby

Chicks are pretty much useless in a crisis, aren't they?

No, he didn't use the branch to silence her annoying screeching.

From New Heroic Comics #94 (December 1954).

Tags: Stereotypes

Thursday Night Thought

(THOUGHT)

One of the advantages of having an advanced Kryptonian super-brain is that with a simple mental command, Clark Kent can switch from speaking about a subject to merely thinking about it! Truly, Superman is the Man of Tomorrow!

From Action Comics #158 (July 1951).

Tags: Thursday Night Thinking Superman

How to make a blogger cry

From Superman #53 (July-August 1948).

Tags: Superman

Some days

The Sleester just feels like Ol' Gil from the Simpsons.

Or Charlie Brown.

Used...

And abused.

In spite of the drama...

Things are looking up.

It just takes time.

Life is an odd journey but I am comforted by the fact that
no matter what happens, I'll always have Hayley.

What the..? This post looks suspiciously like self-indulgent blogger self-pity! That's crap! I hate when bloggers do that! Things are going good, so I guess this proves I shouldn't post when I'm exhausted from work and feeling flu-ish.

How to lighten this page up? I know! A photoshopped picture of a cat with humorous text! That always works!

Introducing...
LOTLCATS ™!

Yes, Land of the Lost Cats! Just when you though the hilarious cat + text meme fad was over-exposed, dead and hanging on by zombie claws, along comes a guy like me to inject new life into an old and worn concept. The merging of funny kitties and the spectacular Sid & Marty Krofft series The Land of the Lost was inevitable and long over due. Go ahead and LOL, you are welcome.

More to come!

Tags: Sleestak LOLCATS

Clearing out the "Pending" folder

You'd never see Lois Lane being such a jerk. There's aggressiveness in chasing down a lead for a news story and and then there is being just plain obnoxious and insulting. Great stand-alone panel from the Golden Age of comics, though.

From Four Favorites #8 (December 1942).

Do modern comic book fans realize that without the superior coloring techniques of today's creative teams that much of the art published in current magazines would get a high school kid a failing grade in art class? Imagine this art as black and white reprints in a trade collection.

From Cable & Deadpool #41 (August 2007).

Comic book puzzle from Teen Beat. I think it's a rock star.

From Teen Beat #1 (November-December 1967).

This one is pretty much for Dr. Zaius to play with.

From the Whitman Big Little Book, The Calcutta Affair (1967).

How this scene would have played if I wrote the Phantom.

From Ace Comics #116 (November 1946). Original here.

Just because it is the greatest Ditko panel ever.

Tags: Humor Comic Books

CILF

Dang, Little Archie's mom is HOT!

"...And stop wasting the whipped cream! I'm going to...er...use it tonight after you go on your trip."

How did Archie's 60 year old shlub of a Dad land such a young babe? He must have originally purchased her from some Walton Mountain family and keeps her locked in the basement in between sessions of drugging and hypnotism so she can't run away.

From Little Archie #12 (1961).

Tags: Archie Silver Age Seduction of the Innocent

Burn, Butler, Burn!

Little Archie rescues Little Veronica from the family butler who kidnapped her for ransom by lighting him on fire and throwing the villain down a flight of stairs.
The cartoonish figures of Archie and Veronica are an odd contrast to the far more realistic depictions of the dungeon setting and the plummeting butler.

From Little Archie #12 (1961).

Tags: Archie Silver Age Seduction of the Innocent

Friday Catblogging: ART AZ A THRET

While riding the bus a few weeks ago to and from work I noticed the phrase ART AS A THREAT spray-painted in a few places by the college. Oh, those edgy college kids with their local band stickers and graffiti stencils, out to educamate the world. It's so cute. Like a baby's first steps across the living room.

Yeah, once they realize they will starve and die by maintaining their principles they sell out eventually. It'll be years before they realize they have become just like their parents when they walk by that homeless guy without giving him a quarter. It's amusing to see them in later years decline to sign a ballot measure petition because it means they might have to re-register to vote and then be called to serve jury duty later.

I thought it would be interesting to take the message symbolizing their generational angst and pretentious dissatisfaction of a pop-culture they secretly embrace and co-opt it by making it cute, fluffy and Hallmark store marketable.

Tags: Friday Catblogging LOLcats

Bear-Zapping!

Because you demanded it, more Bear-Zapping!

Tags: Bear-Zapping

Cool Golden Age Page of the Day: ELEPHANT-MOUNTED MACHINE GUN!!!!!!!

From the splash page of The Fighting Yank #12 (June 1945) comes this awesome image of the Fighting Yank gleefully destroying America's stereotyped enemy soldiers by using an ELEPHANT-MOUNTED MACHINE GUN!!!!!!!
An ELEPHANT-MOUNTED MACHINE GUN!!!!!!! is almost as mind-plotzing as Cowboy Sahib! This image appears nowhere in the main story and makes me think it was originally intended to be a cover, but the scene may have been too violent for the news stands and the far more palatable art of the Yank kicking back in the Imperial Palace throne room was used instead. I thank the Comic Book Gods it was included for publication in the issue and therefore the awesomeness was preserved for eternity.

Tags: Golden Age ELEPHANT-MOUNTED MACHINE GUN!!!!!!! Awesome

Thank you, brave adventurer! You rescued me from savageness with your HUGE sword!

The good old days.

"The Birth of a Nation" was a positive selling point, Manifest Destiny was the 11th Commandment and psychotic fanaticism was called patriotism!

Image via Pulp of the Day.

Tags: Pulp

He means spelunking!

Some days I think I should just give up and use my LJ account and do nothing but post to scans_daily.

The out of context (kind of) panel is from the story "Gentle Brute" in Unknown Worlds #25 (August 1963). Both the story and the comic is just so appropriately named, isn't it? I mean, you know the editors and staff were sitting around a table pointing to the finished art and giggling like schoolboys. Check out the guy's leering expression. I'm a big believer in the idea that the creative teams of comic books chafed under the Comics Code Authority and often took the opportunity to slip gags and situations past the censorship panel that only mature readers would catch for what they really were.

Cover bonus: Bear zapping!
A bear getting zapped on a comic book cover is almost as cool as evil monkeys.

Tags: Seduction of the Innocent Bear-Zapping

Cool Golden Age Page of the Day: Out of nowhere -- THE EAGLE!

The Eagle versus the Beast, the bad guy with a crowbar for a hand! Now that's a fight scene! Plus, "Helga Vegas" is very nearly the best name ever for a villainess.This page features something that can only be found in comics. No, not a muscular shirtless hero in the company of a young sidekick who wears school boy's gym clothes! In the final battle, the Eagle leaps from the second story of a building and lands with both feet onto the villains' s face...and the bad guy lives! In fact, he he keeps on fighting until the Eagle smashes him in the face with an anvil!

Cool Page from Weird Comics #15 (June 1941).

Tags: Golden Age