Friday Catblogging

That's correct, this is not a picture of a cat, but it is a photo of the foot I use to kick them with.















Tags: Catblogging

Mew-Tonts Rule!

Today I received my DVD of the classic and unfairly MST3K'd science fiction film This Island Earth! The case art and info is pretty bare-boned but the DVD art features a helpless Dr. Ruth Adams (Faith Domergue) in the claws of (as space-baddie Exeter calls it) a "mew-tont" slave. It's a cool scene with a clear origin in good-girl SF pulp art that makes my Nerd-bone tingle!

I do love me some mew-tonts!

Tags: Science Fiction films

This is a test

If you can figure out where to send your resume, you're hired!


It is obvious this company desperately needs an Office Assistant.

- From the August 9/10 2006 Pennysaver.

Tags: Help-Wanted, Jobs, Maryland Sucks

I have found an outlet for my rage

But since I refuse to give my money to these people I need someone to buy it for me.

This is a perfect example of American crassness and tackiness and I want one so I can scream at it and fill it with my ire and make it my Apothecary of Hate™.

Someday I will then pass it on to some unsuspecting fool, who will then undoubtedly suffer many misfortunes by being the possesor of the curse-laden coin.


Tags: 9/11, Advertising, Marketing

Ocassionally, Lois and Lana called a truce

This panel shows the girls could get along just fine when it involved kinky video parties with strange men.

From Lois Lane #12 (Oct 1959)

Tags: Lois Lane, Lana Lang, Superman

True cost of the Crisis: The Destruction of Earth-B

I wonder how often Superman crossed the dimensional barrier and visited the Bigamy-verse?

From Lois Lane #57 (May 1965)

Tags: Lois Lane, Lana Lang, Superman

I don't know much but I know how to fix Iraq

I think it's clear that the entire war in the Mid-East can be resolved by a massive campaign of non-stop carpet-concerting by The Hoff.

As freedom rings all around him, The Hoff sings him some Irving Berlin standards.
♬ ♪ "The difficult, I'll do right out. The impossible will take a little while...!" ♬ ♪

In just one day David tore down that big, old gangsta-tagged eyesore of a wall and brought North and South Germany together after 83 years of mutual animosity.

America had their chance at stabilising the region, now it is time we let Hasselhoff the Hoofer take a shot at uniting Iraqistan and their many peoples.

Tags: Iraq, David Hasselhoff

Don't let the door to the Fortress of Solitude hit you on the ass on the way out

Since his debut back in 1938 there are countless scenes that define greatness in the stories that feature Superman. Smashing a car, breaking chains by flexing his chest muscles and juggling planets. When Superman executed the Phantom Zone criminals. When Superman and Wonder Woman made a skin flick. When a terminally ill Lois first declined Clark's marriage proposal because he wasn't Superman, when they married for real and when Superman died for a while.

But one of  my favorite scenes ever in comics wasn't a punch-em-inna-face. It was real story and had good drama. It is when Superman once and for all kicked Lana Lang to the curb.

While Lana was featured regularly in the Superboy stories she was absent as a character from his adult life in Metropolis. Lois Lane was firmly established as Superman's Girlfriend and except for the occasional manipulative heiress Lois had no real competition for Superman's affections. Enter: Lana Lang.

Cute and bothersome as a teen, Lana had grown up to be DC's glamorous vamp, an ambitious Silver Age Sharon Stone type. Well, not initially. As revealed in Lois Lane #7 (Feb 1959) while on a story in the Metropolis slums "pretty reporter" Lois discovered that Lana was homeless and living on the streets.
Since this is the DC and not Marvel and it is the Silver/Bronze Age, the comic did not go into detail about Lana's personal situation like it would today. No graphic details about drug addiction, prostitution or porn movies here! That was all subtext, baby. Use your imagination. With Lois's help Lana gets cleaned up and established and secures steady employment. At first, Lana was a good friend to Lois. Having put her childhood relationship with Superboy behind her she often assisted Lois in her crazy schemes to win over Superman. Eventually though, Lana proved to crafty and manipulative and was revealed to be shallow and selfish, becoming a serious rival as a love interest for Superman. They had a history, Lana was prettier than Lois and had red hair so you can't blame the guy for thinking with his Johnson-El.

Soon, Lana was making a name for herself in the popular media exploiting her personal history and friendship with Superman (nee Superboy), presumably in a far more lurid manner than Lois, Jimmy and Clark (in maintaining his secret identity) did. She wrote books, appeared on television shows and a went on a lecture circuit pandering to a public that couldn't get enough juicy celebrity gossip about the Man of Steel. Of course, Lana showing up and befriending Lois makes the issue of Superman's secret identity even more ridiculous and shows just how inept an investigative reporter Lois really was. You'd think they'd compare notes or something.

Superman himself was characterized as being torn between the two women and couldn't decide which one to choose from so he strung them both along for years.

The defining moment. Here's where the War Between the Girlfriends began.
From Lois Lane #7.

Not to be a Typical Guy, I understand that actually. Let's face the facts. Not many women could keep up with Superman and the craziness and media attention that comes along with him. The two women who could were also both major league ass-pains. Way back in the days before my own precious state of marital bliss I lived by the code of always having a Plan B in place. That is, if Plan A doesn't work out then you have to implement Plan B. So then if I broke up with my current girlfriend, she was mad at me or went to work I'd break out the Plan B, aka Reserve Girl. Now that may sound callous, but there isn't a man or woman out there alive then and now that didn't walk the same path I did when dating (and it is even more true today than when I was single, especially with women and their emasculating concept of the "Uhm-Friend") so save the self-righteous anger and focus on the comic books, OK?

For years Superman tolerated Lana and Lois' romantic shenanigans. During a great story arc in which Superman got more in touch with his Clark Kent persona (Don't forget that in is this era Clark was the disguise) the Superman and Lois relationship intensified and Lana was pushed to the sidelines. Lana became increasingly more desperate for attention and eventually Superman decided to put a halt to the relationship.

In one great scene, Superman finally makes it clear to Lana and the readers that he chooses Lois once and for all. All the comic noobs out here reading today's tales may not know it but there was actually a long-running controversy over Lana and Lois and who was better. It was a question nearly as great as the one about Ginger and Mary-Anne*.

From Superman #332 (Feb 1979). Click images to super-size.

Lana does not take it very well and proves Superman's assertions by raging at him instead of being saddened or accepting his decision. Cleverly, the reader's were not privy to her rants because of the thick glass but it is obvious that Superman could hear every word. Superman understood that while both Lana and Lois desired being "Mrs. Superman" it was only Lois who accepted the responsibility of the relationship. Lana was only seeking the next celebrity spotlight to stand in.

Fortunately for readers Lana didn't stumble upon the Eclipso gem next issue, because all us Silver and Bronze age fans can recognize a stupid cliche when it is shoved in our faces. Cheese we can accept, but don't insult us.

Since then Lois has been (kind of) portrayed to show that she isn't defined by Superman and doesn't require fame by association to make her way in the world. After a few reboots and because of the Smallville television program Lana was once again brought back into Superman's life. In a moment of editorial clarity she wasn't portrayed as a brunette Asian-Hispanic proto-Lois like in the show, but (in spite of her being the spouse of a powerful politician) DC did choose to make her a desperate loser once again as she was when she re-appeared back in 1959. Now that she is the CEO of LuthorCorp I expect that she is in a better position financially and emotionally to go after Clark again. Being CEO may be her forte and as her personal power and influence grows she might feel she is a match for Lois and Superman once again.

* Ginger.

Drop the bomb in the name of peace

Adventures Into Weird Worlds #3 (1952)

Tags: War, Peace, Propaganda

Think of the children!

Oh, noes!

"Don't forget, 12-year-olds read Bay Weekly."

I can't believe that someone actually wrote that sentence. Note the complainants didn't mention their child, just children in general. You know, as a parent myself I excercised a little thing called Good Parenting, in which I monitor what my kid is exposed to by excercising Good Judgement through judicious use of the television remote control and previewing his entertainment materials.

Somehow I doubt the advertising-driven, give-away periodical Bay Weekly is a child's first choice for reading enjoyment unless they are interested in where the next Republican Pancake Breakfast is scheduled. Then again, this is Maryland, Land of the Sophisticated Redneck, so you never know.

Tags: Editorial, Censorship

Grocery Store Artifact: Waiting for Darwin

A co-worker habitually stores his snacks and drinks in a closet full of opened cleaning chemicals at work. It's a brand name soda today but he usually favors the 89 cent 2-liter bottle of generic strawberry soda, that he keeps on a taller shelf adjacent to the bottles of a particularly toxic bright red floor cleanser.

We keep throwing his snacks out or moving them to the break room. He gets mad that we are doing it and doesn't get the hint that it's for his own good.

Now I know how Spider-Man feels.

Tags: Grocery Store, Darwinism

In Loo of Content

Via BeaucoupKevin.

I question the actual effective science of facial recognition programs and hope that it isn't seriously used for Homeland Security. Using Kurt Schaffenbeger's radioactive mutant from Modern Mechanix came up with these results.

The unluckiest homeowner in the world looks like Clara Bow, Diana Rigg and Ophelia Winters? Please.


Apparently, large dark spots in the center of the face and blank areas are enough to make a 'match'. Facial recognition is still in it's infancy and is not yet very reliable, but for entertaiment purposes it can be fun. If used in the field as an anti-crime tool I'd hate to think someone gets missed or tagged as a threat due to a false positive because they were wearing sunglasses.

Tags: Celebrity Look-alike, Facial recognition

Sex sells. Then it rolls over and goes to sleep.

Take a look at these covers from the Golden Age series of the legacy character the Blue Beetle.

Assault the image for cover gallery via the GCD

You might notice that there is a clearly defined time in the run when the publisher suddenly realizes that SEX SELLS COMIC BOOKS.

Using one issue as a way of easing into the transistion, the book transforms from the pow! zap! of traditional kiddie fare to the Va-Va-Voom! style of lurid art that undoubtedly made the Werthams of the world squirm uncomfortably in their seats. Much like when the Golden Age Green Lantern was pushed off his own cover for a dog for marketing reasons, the title character of Blue Beetle was moved from foreground to background to favor dames in distress and greedy molls before he was exiled to a Silver Age JLA-style roll call profile. The Beetle even vanished entirely from the cover for several issues as the hard boiled crime-influenced direction of the art had little use for costumed super heroes in the changing markets of the late 1940's.

You perverts make me sick! I love you all.

Here's the search terms what done brought you to my site this week...

kama sutra comic

scarlet johansen's boobs

all star skulls

supergirl porn

supergirl, porn

humiliation lady

unconscious girls

sleestak

tiger tail clip art

skulls comic

Co-Workers Suck

I have come to the conclusion that the place I work is a dump.

My co-workers are dump-dwellers.

They are...

I fail to appreciate them all.

Do the Tokyo Stomp!

Imagine my insane delight. The original, uncut, unraymondburred Japanese version of GOJIRA, aka Godzilla, is coming to dvd September 5th in a 2-disc set.

The 2nd disc appears to contain the Americanized version for all you heathens.

I ordered it already.

Find out more at godzillaondvd.

Tech Tags: Gojira Godzilla

In one word - - Hsssssss!

I do love my complete Land of the Lost dvd boxed set, but the choices for some of the dvd art is baffling.

Enik has this whole Why me? thing going on.

LTMS Pictorial: Unconscious Girls of the Detroit JLA

Sexy: Girl ghosts.

Sexier: Naked girl ghosts.

SEXIEST: Naked girl ghosts that also wear the astral forms of their jewelry and accessories because that is freaking HOT.

from JSA: Classified #15 (Oct 2006)

It's like they are nude models from a men's magazine or something getting ready for a romp in a steamy pictorial, but they can be shown in a teasing, titillating way safe for comic book fare and isn't really pornography...But still is pornography!

Neat-o.

FANBOY & FANGIRL BONUS: Unconscious hot chick.

Tags: Comic Book, Soft Core, Gypsy, Vixen, Exploitation , Ceiling Cat

Comic Books + Fatima = Crazy/Delicious

Monitor Duty gives the world what might be not only eerie prophecy, but the first comic book & Flat Fatima mashup. Here are mine, combining the two recent memes from Random Panels and Progressive Ruin.

Tags: Fatima, Memes

Hey, kids! Fool your homeless friends!

Make your own bottle of Tenafly Viper by printing out your very own adhesive label!

Show your geek-cred and inability to secure reproduction rights by sneaking a flask of Viper into the theatre for that showing of Snakes on a Plane!

Tags: Street Trash, Viper, Snakes on a Plane