Sunday, May 27, 2007

Every day is Hayley Mills Day!

I have to confess that a few weeks ago I failed to share the news of Hayley Mill's birthday with you all, which is actually celebrated on the auspicious date of April 18th.

But for me, since every day is Hayley Mills Day and a chance to celebrate the awesome actress, it is better that I share the news later than not at all.

It wasn't on purpose, I was feeling very sick with the flu and and it lasted nearly 4 weeks. A bad flu turned into a nasty respiratory illness that kept moving between my head and lungs. It took weeks to get rid of it and the ear aches lasted another two weeks after that. Hayleyitis I can live with but this thing I had was wreaking havoc with my health. Be assured though, that while I did not share the big birthday news with you all, I did celebrate privately in one of the many personal Hayley shrines I have in my home.

Me, posing at one of my Hayley Mills shrines. This one is in the living room.
Not counting the night table displays in my bedroom there are ten in all.

While I was recuperating I spent a lot of time relaxing in my award-winning Garden of Hayley Awesomeness! The garden is quiet, peaceful and is perfect for contemplation. I spare no expense and the lovingly tended garden is stocked year round with the most out-of-season flowers that can be found from all over the world. It is a fact that thirty men died in bringing to my garden the rare South American Rojo Gapanthus that can be seen in the picture. It was totally worth it.

Even though the day was overcast the Garden of Hayley Awesomeness is always basked in the bright, warm light emanating from her statue, even at night. In the garden I can get my Vitamin D even on the cloudiest of days. I usually don't linger in the garden because whenever I contemplate Hayley for too long I get a funny feeling in the side of my neck, vomit and burst into tears before eventually passing out. It is something that commonly occurs among Hayley Mills fans but it is generally frowned upon as disrespectful when it happens in public, somewhat like speaking in tongues is when at the church.

After a few days in the garden soaking up the Hayleyness I felt well enough to visit my exterior Hayley Mills shrine. In making it up to you all for my illness-related faux pax in not celebrating Hayley's birthday publicly I am allowing outsiders to see, via the magic of the internet, the Hayley Mills Celebratory Museum! Lovingly built by my own hands over several years in my back yard taking advantage of San Diego's unique geography and world-famous extensive cave system, the HMCM is my respectful tribute to the legend that is Hayley Mills.

For obvious reasons I keep the entrance locked just like you would lock up a tool shed that protects your shovels, lawn mower and pornography. The marble cost me a pretty penny (not as pretty as Hayley, mind you) but again it was totally worth it. Once inside, a winding series of stairs takes you down through Hayley Hall and into the spacious main area of the Hayleydome.
The Hayleydome is my pride and joy and I am constantly updating and improving the many Hayley displays. It is large and has superior acoustics that compliment the nightly viewings of such Hayley Mills film fare as The Flame Trees of Thika and The Chalk Garden. Suitable for proms, wedding receptions and business meetings the Hayleydome is perfect for anyone's Hayley-centric needs. Since it is built deep into the side of a hill it stays cool in summer and cool in winter (it is located in San Diego, after all). I once considered renting the Hayleydome out on the condition that all gatherings be Hayley-themed, but I decided I didn't want my special place touched by strangers.

Note, on the left at the rear of the Hayleydome you can see the entrance to the recently completed Miss Bliss Annex! Now 100% Screech-free!

I could stay down here for hours but eventually I have to earn a living. So after a week I eventually go back to the house and the many smaller (though no less impressive) Hayley displays, secure in the knowledge that while I am leaving my Hayley Mills Museum behind for the time being, she has never really left my heart.

Thanks, Giada! Your Platinum Edition DVD of Summer Magic is on the way!


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