Say "Hi" to Cliff everyone!
I know his name because last month Cliff, in a drunken tantrum, shortly after being ejected from an adjacent property by the police for throwing a drunken tantrum*, randomly attacked and vandalized a car in the parking lot.
My car.
Cliff went to jail for the act but now he is once again free and wandering around the area having more drunken tantrums. He seems to have some problem with the concept of staying off staying off the property and keeping away from the customers, so I foresee more legal problems for Cliff in the near future.
I'm thinking of getting Cliff registered with the Guild of Calamitous Intent. Cliff easily qualifies as a supervillain. A semi-normal person until he drinks his special chemical formula, Cliff transforms into a feral, screaming psycho who engages in random property damage and mayhem which continues until a specialized team of heroes takes him out of action with their high-tech weapons and tactics. That's classic comic book stuff. Cliff also has the identity-concealing costume down, but he needs a proper supervillain moniker. Perhaps something like The Rampaging Imbiber or The Screaming Jerk-Face.
* Or as the police officer called it, "Acting like Cliff".
When the Holiday Celebration is Finally Over
2 hours ago
Perhaps instead of antagonizing him, you should drink with him instead. That tends to keep these sorts of people from fucking with your shit, at least. They will most likely (and maybe bring you along) fuck somebody else's shit up. Try it, it might be fun.
ReplyDeleteCliff's an alcoholic, eh? Try Thorazine.
ReplyDeletehttp://badbanana.typepad.com/weblog/2007/06/advertising_the.html
Aw, I ain't so bad. (pukes, shits self, breaks window, falls on baby carriage)
ReplyDeleteAW!!
He's a good old boy at heart, like so many others are, but when he's drinking, that's something else again. Well you can sneak on out and leave or you can sit and just agree or you can cross him if you want your face knocked in. Coz he can hurt you, I swear to god, and he will hit you, as apt as not. He's Drinkenstein.
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