Thank you for your interest in our company

Thank you for your interest in our company and for submitting your resume for our review. Should our hiring managers have an interest in your skills and capabilities, they will contact you directly. In addition, we will keep your resume on file for 90 days.

Furthermore, please stop the daily practice of hand-delivering your art featuring creepy decapitated gnome heads floating on a rainbow in a forest glen that is in the process of being clear-cut by weird otter-beaver hybrids. The sea gull picture is actually very nice and reveals some creative talent but ethics rules prohibit the hiring of persons who give us gifts.

Just FYI, the content of the notes you are leaving with the pictures are making people nervous. Also, please stop addressing the notes to the "Queen Princess Hiring Manager" as she is already insufferable and all the attention is going straight to her head.

On a personal note may I suggest not drinking large amounts of beer immediately prior to a meeting? While I appreciate your assertion that you can "quit drinking anytime" it does not bode well for your job prospects that you drunkenly staggered around and slurred non sequiturs during your visit. As for your stated qualifications I would again remind you that begging for spare change in a parking lot is not actually "cashier experience".

While we encourage people to follow up on their interviews showing up unannounced may necessarily require you to wait until those people with appointments are seen first. Shouting at both the Store and Hiring Managers demanding to know why you were not yet hired with our company is not what I call good networking.

We appreciate your consideration as a potential employer.

Sincerely,

Human Resources