"Close enough" is loser talk

I really want an on-model Parade Hater Horace sweater for Christmas. Sadly, I can't trust anyone in my family to have one made and to do it right. Invariably they would get something wrong. Something about the sweater, probably more than one element, would be off and ruin everything. The color, style, size, material or the all important typography of the garment would be "close enough" or sub-par. I want to squeal with joy and pump my fist in the air, not look disappointingly at my clan, lip curling with barely concealed distaste, and mutter a halfhearted thanks. Since my stated gift-giving goal every Christmas is to absolutely crush the giving abilities of others it is obvious I'll have to do it myself if I want it done right.

Operation Awesome Christmas has begun!

Comic Book Spam

Did anyone ever fall for this?

Slightly modified for lol from from Spellbound #20 (March 1954).

Voyeur enabling comic book ad

While not being privy to the creation of the ad copy for this mini-camera from a 1958 girl's romance comic book it is hard to believe that the following sales point for the camera was meant for anyone other than emerging pervs or creepy adults. It is possible that it was totally innocent but the sleaze-factor, combined with the explosion of "camera clubs" during that time period leads me to doubt that the camera was meant just for laughs.

In case you can't read the copy it proudly states one of the positive features of the small, easily-concealed camera is:"Your girlfriend and other bathing-beauties will all relax in their natural pose and make a swell pin-up collection. Through a paper is just one of many ways to go about it."

You can view the entire ad (among others) from Brides in Love #9 (Sept 1958) via this post here.

From the Library of Ada Winemiller, Part 2

The presumably young Ada Winemiller that claimed this copy of Brides in Love #9 back in 1958 would have been reading tales of romance that perhaps misled her as to what gender roles were really like in the late 1950s. Other than the social programming within the book Ada would also have been exposed to the somewhat non-gender specific advertising within the pages as well.

The advertisements that appeared in comics were not really targeted to both genders back in the day. Comic books were primarily and rightly so aimed at the young male demographic. Female customers were almost an after-thought and romance comic books held the same place the more adventure oriented books had as a product, as a safer alternative to the racier and more lurid pulp and gossip magazines that dominated the news stands.

Comic book advertising was almost certainly sold based upon volume, not a targeted youth or older group. Ads for submarines, rockets, space suits, cowboy gear and body building dominated pages set aside for outside revenue. What the sales department was selling was eyes on the page, not what percentage of boys versus girls were tempted by their products. Even the romance or female-oriented magazines for the most part contained advertising directly aimed at the young male reader. Ads for fashion and makeup were typically published in titles like Miss America or Calling All Girls which while they contained sequential art were considered full-fled magazines and were on a different tier than the other four-color comics.

So it was that Brides in Love #9 contained the usual advertising of the era. That several of the ads depicted muscle men is likely incidental and while possibly of interest to Ada were probably not placed in the book specifically to her market.

The opposite may be true for the male youth market as the amount of T&A in most of the mainstream comic books were obvious and gratuitous far beyond what the artist or writer knew was sensible. The romance books, while not as adventuresome thematically, supports my personal theory that even the girl-oriented books were also primarily meant for the male reader and served as a safe and acceptable form of pornography or at least a source to satisfy curiosity, somewhat like the notorious lingerie ads in a Sears catalog. Given that so many stories feature panels of women in their underclothes and showing them fitfully tossing and turning on their bed with frustration is provocative to be sure. A scene in an issue of Marvel Comics 2003 mini-series Unstable Molecules, reflecting the era, bears anecdotal witness to the idea. You can view the semi-NSFW page here.

These type of cheesecake voyeuristic images were almost exclusive to the romance comics. Unfortunately when this imagery, combined with the more violent ones that were ubiquitous to the action and adventure comics reached a sort of parental saturation the result was government and group involvement that resulted in the Comics Code Authority.

Of the eight pages of ads in Brides of Love #9 there are three are shilling body building, four are pushing a combination of toys and science-related instruments. Arguably given the perceived audience of the time these ads were correctly and most effectively aimed at a young male.

One ad features photographs of popular media stars, which is the only ad that might be considered by advertisers to be directly of interest to a girl of that era. But what sort of young woman was Ada Winemiller? If she took any interest in the ads at all who is to say she wasn't the most intrigued by the rocket kit? Maybe she liked the idea of breaching the walls of America's enemies in a tank? It could be she grew up to be a force to be reckoned with in the business world after learning entrepreneurship from selling salve or Grit. Out of all the advertisements from Brides in Love #9 presented here, which ones may have captured the attention of Ada the most?

Maybe she chose her own path and did whatever she wanted be it in business, science or as homemaker. Perhaps the old men editing the romance comic books of the 1950s, who mandated stories of women who yearned to be housewives and mothers and nothing else because there was no other goal worthier than domestic breeder, would be shocked to learn how Ada Winemiller ultimately turned out.

These are things that exist

From only two years ago?

These cosplay films appear pretty earnest but I'm pretty surprised it wasn't something produced in the late 1980s. Where are these movies now? Why don't I own them? Is it because my wife would finally move out?

Men of Mystery #80 (2009).

As easy as trying on a new hat

This gimmick still exists today but in software form where an uploaded image is virtually merged with different styles of hair and clothing.

From Cowboy Love #31 (August 1955).

Torn from today's headlines!

I wonder how carefully they vetted that newsprint? I could just see Sally obliviously wearing a jacket displaying the headlines "BRAVE ALABAMANS HALT DE-SEGREGATION", "COMMIES INFILTRATE DAIRY INDUSTRY" or "RELEASED ATOM CLOUD HARMLESS, SAYS OFFICIALS. MAY ACTUALLY CURE ILLNESS"or some other propagandistic horror common to the media. Imagine what a jacket like that would look like today.

• "GULF OIL LEAK BENEFICIAL TO ENVIRONMENT, REVERSES GLOBAL WARMING"
• "NOTHING TO SEE HERE, MOVE ALONG, SAYS GOVERNMENT"
• "JUSTIN BIEBER #1 ENTERTAINER ON EARTH"

Brrr...

From Personal Love #4 (Mar-Apr 1959).

Pimps trying to catch a woman that's weak

Sylvester is a pimp, that much is clear. I understand Sylvester keeping a bevy of birds to lure in some johns, he's got to pay for all that stuff he orders from Acme somehow and honey-traps are as good a way as any. What I don't get is why didn't Sylvester just eat Prostitweety when he had the chance then go after Tweety once the smack in her body hit his system and amped him up into a raging killing machine? Maybe she was a robot.

Dark Shadows #34 (Nov 1975).

Drinking Companions

"Ideal for Beer, Highballs, Water and Every Beverage." I don't imagine that any of these glasses still exist anywhere but yeah, I want them all and the matching coasters, too.

Thrilling Comics #36 (July 1943).

Do Not Tease the Golem

Top Secrets #2 (1949).

The Third Man Theme

So the 1949 film The Third Man is to blame for the proliferation of all those Zithers in schools all over the nation. I don't believe there was one classroom anywhere in the United States in the 1970s that didn't have at least one vintage Zither sitting on a shelf.  Where are all those millions of Zithers today? Sitting in landfills leeching toxic chemicals in our ground water? Precariously stacked 15 feet high in a forgotten storage closet in some elementary school, waiting to tumble down accompanied by tragic yet hilarious noises on the vulnerable and unsuspecting heads of curious children exploring the auditorium? Shipped to puzzled children of developing nations as critical teaching supplies? Cool tune, though.

The Zither is a fine example of vintage Trend Ort.

As partial evidence that there was a Zither craze that swept the nation once upon a time here is a comic book advertisement from Love Letters #10 (1951).

GROG GROWS OWN TAIL

There's a great horror story to be found in this. And you can't beat those pre-graphic arts programs days of cutting, pasting and stenciling your own home-made ad copy.

From Teen-Age Hotrodders #4 (1963).

Dry those tears, Myra

My Own Romance #20 (Jan 1952).

Sheena, Queen of the Prom

Found on the back of Planet Comics #43 (July 1946) is this house ad for Jumbo Comics featuring Sheena, Queen of the Jungle, a popular Fiction House jungle-themed heroine with origins going back to Britain in 1937. In the ad a letter from a school faculty sponsor addressed to the house pseudonym responsible for creating Sheena declares that the character has been chosen as the mascot for the 1947 Graduating Class of John Bartram High School in Philadelphia.

When I showed this ad to my Mom she asserted that her school would never have allowed such an icon to be used as a mascot since Sheena was such a provocative female figure. I can only speculate that the parents and faculty of the school of the 1940s didn't mind as they had friends and family that were used to glamorous pin-ups in the home, workplace and military barracks and a culture that was a little more rough and tumble from years of war and working the shipyards. I don't know what the long ago class of that high school was like but I can't help thinking that Sheena would not go over as well today with the students as it may have done in 1947. The image of a Caucasian female dressed in leopard skin as the Queen of an African region would be as more unpopular (though for different reasons) than their current school mascot, what some have called a stereotypical Indian brave.

Swooshy Peplum

I'm loving every word as read through a pop-culture bobby-sox filter in this March 1949 ad copy from Miss America Magazine. Whooper-doo!

Sunday drive

Kids of the day didn't know it, but they were being secretly indoctrinated in science fiction through this ad. Now look at what those children have done to everything since they became adults.

Hi-Adventure Heroes #2 (August 1969).

Most Wanted

Teen Confessions #77 (Dec 1972).

Accept no imitations

A cheerful Lev Gleason publication gleefully leads a crowd of competing comic books to their horrible watery deaths. From Crime Does Not Pay #66 (August 1948).

The Answers To Everyone's Questions

PSA advertisement from All-American Comics #38 (May 1948). It's like some comic book artist saw the future and designed this layout specifically for people in a distant era to screw around with.

C'mon! Who could hate Woodgod? One of the best things Stan Lee ever did for Marvel was hire hippies.

Boo-yeah!

Obvious, but true.

Blank here.

Your dog saved my baby

It is the heart-warming story that sells it for me.

Western Life Romances (December 1949).