Golden Gould Awards for 2005

If you participate in only one online "Best Of" poll for the old year then it should be the 2005 Golden Gould Awards found on the Daily Kos...

The statements below the fold were taken from chat rooms, e-mails, IM's, and the Talk Origins Feedback Archive. As best I can tell these are all sincere objections to evolutionary biology--that's part of what makes them so funny. In several cases I conversed with the authors enough to establish they probably weren't just kids. The scary thing is, a number of them claimed to have degrees in hard science and one or two said they were teachers.

Please vote for your favorite as the winner receives a virtual gold plated statue of the late Stephen J. Gould. The master of evolution is immortalized holding his nose with one hand and a small bag full of unidentified refuse at arms length in the other. Here they are in no particular order.

10. I know you think you have fossils that proof stuff, but those fossils are all fake, they're made out of tar and stuff, this is fact not theory. They have factories in China mostly making the fossils.

9. If people came from monkeys, why are there still people?

8. If the strata layers were true, the missing links would be the dinosaurs because they came way before other evolutionary stages. But no, we are finding dinosaur bones left and right. We have over 35 kinds of dinosaurs and we have more than one for each. Is that a problem. How long have they been digging now?

7. then perhaps you can explain how A fish crawled out of the sea and evolved into a mammal with lungs without dying before he evolved. You scientists make up something to explain all of your theories without ANY proof. You are fools living a lie. And being as Satan is the father of lies, he is your master. Turn or Burn boys!

6. hey, i get so confused when i hear about all this evolution nonsense. was it once upon a time,lifeless matter came to life. became a mything link. then a boy.or was it.once upon a time, a lifeless chunk of wood came to life.became a talking puppet.then a boy. please clear up my confusion.....yo momma

5. DS I'm hoping you won't be like the others and we can have a nice two-way discussion were we each listen to the other persons. As long as you understand that evolutionists have no proof and just the tail on an amoeba is proof of intelligent design and that's my view and I don't really care to read yours.

4. Evolution? Isn't that what Osama ben Laden believes in? Isn't that what the Taliban teaches in their madroseos? Nice company you keep, terrorist.

3. You have to ask yourself though, why are evolutionists so vile and disgusting and rude and why are scientists like DR Hovin so polite and courteous? [What makes this e-mail ironic and worthy of nomination is that just a few hours after I opened it I received an unsolicited Instant Message which read in part] "You baby-killers make me sick with your slime are poeple bu*****t and your jew teachers telling our kids they're nothing but monkeys. I know you're all gonna brn in jew hell but I hope first we round you pigs up and execute you first, s lowly and painfully.

2. Most mammals contain DNA similaities because mammals eat other mammals.

IMHO, our winner from 2004 deserves a renomination, below:

1. How do evolutionists explain the Caribbean Explosion?

For a mercifully rational read in an ocean of butt-tardedness, please read the ruling on Kitzmiller v Dover School District.