Thursday, July 24, 2008


Thursday's Schedule of Events:

12:00: MOVIES! MOVIES MOVIES! Hayley-Con kicks off at Zero-Dark-Zero with 'round the clock Hayley! For the length of the con a retrospective of the films and television of Hayley Mills will be shown in the Hayley Dome theater! That's 24/24! 24 hours of Hayley for 24 hours! And since that isn't enough Hayley, the Milllsian Players will be performing live-action recreations of Good Morning, Miss Bliss in the Miss Bliss Annex!

6:00-7:00 a.m.: Breakfast in the Hayley Mills Celebratory Dining Room. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day and plates piled high with Bangers and Mash are the way to get the energy you need for FUN-OVERLOAD! Formal Dress required. Don't forget, the Hayley Mills Celebratory Complex cafeteria is open all day and all night!

7:30-10:00 a.m: The Alleged Children of Hayley Mills (Open forum). Since Hayley Mills does not do the S-E-X (and never will), evidence detailing what we all know to be fact will be again presented by respected guest speakers that proves any children allegedly born by the pristine Hayley are in fact adopted, temporary charity-cases from Last-Wish organizations or fictional creations of the media.

10:30-12:00: Hayley Mills, how to be closer to her (and avoid TRO's). Held in the gorgeous and spacious Garden of Hayley Awesomeness experts will guide visitors through contemplation of All Things Hayley. Visitors cautioned to keep off the grass.

12:00-1:00: Lunch! Don't forget to visit the Hayley Mills Gift Center!

1:30-5:00: Panels and more panels!

  • When the Music Stopped: Everyone agrees Sound of Music better with Hayley Mills as lead actress. Will CGI ever be good enough to edit Hayley in realistically?
  • So Well Remembered: The Career of Hayley Mills.
  • The Griebble: Best Spielberg Because of Hayley Mills or Bestest Spielberg Because of Hayley Mills EVER?
  • The Hayley Mills MySpace Page: Not really her? Who would dare?
  • Let's Get Together: Sing along. Open forum, standing room only.
  • Everything that is not Hayley Mills: Useless Dross.
5:30-7:30: Dinner time. Check your ticket-stubs against the winning numbers to be broadcast on the Hayley-Vision screen! 40 lucky winners will be granted access to the exclusive Castaways Club for a very special In Search of the Castaways movie-themed meal! Don't worry folks! No monkey-brains will be served!

8:00-????: Masquerade Ball! How well can you dress like Hayley? No one could really come close to such perfection but everyone is welcome to try! Our panel of professional judges will award special prizes to the visitor who can best exemplify Hayley Mills in costume form. Take your inspiration from her amazing real life or the cinema! Contestants will be judged on originality, awesomeness and innate Hayley-ness. No dressing up like the sun, though, that costume's already taken! B.Y.O.H. (Bring Your Own Hayley).


  1. Sleestak, your devotion to Hayley Mills is downright charming. DISTURBING, but charming. ;-)

  2. I was told there would be tentacle porn. I must be in the wrong place...

  3. I better never see those words in reference to Hayley again.

  4. I want to see Sleestak's entry in the "Dress Like Hayley" competition.

  5. I got FUN-OVERLOAD about halfway through this article, but by the end I'd gotten my FUN SECOND WIND and I was doubled over by B.Y.O.H. Yay!


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