Superstar

Song Lyrics as Quotes from Politicians

Aholeoids A-Plenty

Click to make Hubble-sized!

Send Error Report

Say what you will about the MS OS, but it worked well enough to detect bugs in other operating systems not connected to mine and shut down for safety reasons.

Ironic that only science could repair her problem.

I, The Quitter

The roar of the custom tour bus shook the parking lot. Conservatives staggered to the left. Sarah's eyes were a symphony of incredulity, an unbelieving witness to truth and reality. Quickly, she checked the beautiful swelling of her personal portfolio account where the money went in.

"How could you?" The Tea Party gasped.

Sarah had only a moment before talking to a corpse of a Presidential campaign, but she got it in.

"It was easy," Sarah said.

Better Dead Than Rooibos

Clicking goes to The General.

I don't think I'll ever be over Macho Grande

BURN!

From the Roswell Daily Record, Former President Bush gave a speech to a bunch of High School kids receiving scholarships. He mentioned how good it felt to no longer be the President. I think we can all empathize with that.

"I no longer feel that great sense of responsibility that I had when I was in the Oval Office," he said. "And frankly, it's a liberating feeling."

Bush told the soon-to-be-graduates that it was a strange experience walking his dog Barney in his new neighborhood after he moved back to Texas.

"I realized this was the first time I'd been walking in a neighborhood for 14 years," he said. "It's not all that hard, by the way. You take one step, and then you take another."

I wonder how far he walked? If I recall correctly the last time he tried to take 12 steps he didn't finish.

The finger, having accused, points

Illustrations from the May 1945 issue of the National Police Gazette. A time of grand-standing, politically power-crazed Government oppressing the brilliant by crushing dissent, fear-mongering, pandering to the gullible and telling the easily manipulated there was a bogey-man under the bed. People think they have it bad today...

Possible World

Via Bully.

The New Scarlet Letter

It is too bad that the folksy folks that Republicans court are so anti-science. If the GOP base embraced SCIENCE a bit more the race-baiting scam that John McCain enthusiast Ashley Todd perpetrated may have been successful beyond any campaign managers' wildest, Rove-like power fantasies. Instead, the ill-thought out and poorly executed plan by Ashley to gain support for her candidate by inciting fear, one of the few tactics Republicans understand, backfired and will surely result in some people voting for Obama.

A little bit of SCIENCE would have ensured the hoax would have worked or at least had survived more time under media inspection. SCIENCE is a good part of everyday life in spite of some people insisting everything is derived from a mystical origin. Here are some aspects of SCIENCE that if factored in to the scam, would have prevented it from blowing up in her face like some sort of experimental-thing gone wrong.

BIOLOGY: People were not zapped into existence with interior workings formed of a single uniform substance like wax or, say, clay. People are full of meaty, brothy stuff. One of those things people are full of is the brain. While many people eschew the brain, I assume Ms. Todd possessed one. Too bad she didn't use it that day.

OPTICS: Like brains, eyeballs have been around for millions of years. Todd missed the opportunity to use them effectively. A quick examination by Todd in any mirror would have revealed that something was wrong with her artwork and that the letter B was reversed. Then again, all the Republicans I know don't actually look at themselves in reflective surfaces since they would then have a hard time living with themselves. I wouldn't be surprised to find strips of newspaper strategically taped over much of the mirrors in Todd's home, leaving only enough shiny surface to reflect a bit of her cheek. It's easier to avoid meeting their own gaze that way.

Here's my Ashley Todd joke:

"Wow. The guys who own that company must be totally rich!"
"What company is that, Ashley?"
"Ecnalubma. They must have at least five cars at every hospital in America!"

HISTORY: Morton Downey Jr. tried a similar scam a number of years ago. He got busted for it because of stupidity. Those who forget history are dumb and will repeat it. One of the things I learned over the years about criminals and grifters is that usually more than one person is required to be successful in any shifty endeavor. This is because from the viewpoint of the perp everything makes perfect logical sense because what they plan and execute fits perfectly their preconceptions of how things are. Many crimes are solved simply by someone else observing that the claims or circumstances do not fit in with reality.

TECHNOLOGY: As fallible as the internet can be when performing research a couple of simple search terms like "McCain" and "President" would have returned thousands of pages of wacky results and their content would have revealed to Ashley what a bad idea she was entertaining. Also, ATM machines have cameras now.

Fortunately for America, this time evoking fear ensured failure.

It's time to go, Sarah

If these two win in November then we should all just give up pretending what kind of country we live in. I just can't believe that McCain and Palin have any real chance of getting into the White House under any ethical circumstances.

Safeguarding the citizens and protecting everyone from the abuses of advanced technology aside, I don't even recognize the country I grew up in anymore.

I just hope the Fear of a Black Planet syndrome doesn't kick in for any of those on the fence about who to vote for on Election Day.

The Unsolid Men

Every now and then someone writes an article decrying the editorial changes that sometimes accompany reprints of classic comic book stories. More often than not it is nudity or other adult themes that get changed or censored. I find it odd that pen drawings of semi-nude figures were okay for young adults to see in the 1970s but is no longer considered appropriate today. I come down on the side of those that want reprints to remain as they were originally intended to be published, even if they contain inappropriate imagery and themes. This is for history's sake and as a cultural measurement. We can not as a people accurately gauge our progress if we sanitize the past.

It is a fantasy, but if nothing else I'd like to see two versions of classic comic books made available. One version honestly printed for historic value and scholarly pursuit, the other version updated and annotated only where a change would make the book accessible to everyone. There are thousands of old books that could not be reprinted because of old and unenlightened viewpoints. There are many great Golden Age and Disney titles that I could not recommend to readers because of the content, though I understand some of the old Disney strips had the appearance of some characters changed. I know I'd enjoy those Will Eisner Spirit collections more if the racial stereotypes were, to coin a phrase, De-Pie-Faced.

Yet, comic books have had a hard time being accurate mirrors of society. While the general populace will live and think one way, popular media will present it as nothing remotely resembling reality. Comics books are realistically shaped by market forces and often what the creators erroneously believe contemporary culture and society is actually like or what they judge it should be like. Marvel (nee Atlas/Timely/Etc) under the guidance of Stan Lee and others was most popularly notorious for this. Wherever it was among the political and cultural spectrum that contemporary popular society resided, Stan Lee was right there. Whether the subject was Communism, a schizophrenic version of Feminism, environmentalism, Civil Rights and even the advantages of the Military/Industrial complex Stan Lee knew the market, was aware of what it would accept and was astute in type of comic book to produce.

One often has to read between the panels to discern where the social and political bias lies in comic books. Company, editorial and creator agendas, opinions and ploicies are often vastly different from the other. Rarely were they all ever on the same page. For decades comic books were little more than propaganda pamphlets and this was most obvious during the 1940s and 1950s. This was more a survival tactic than anything else. Knowing that the only way to survive against parent groups and government interference was to not offend or rock the boat, most companies adopted a "go along to get along" policy that lasted for the most part well into the 1970s. It was really only the subversive creativity of writers and artists and their stealthy rebelliousness as they chafed under the Comics Code that allowed any story to deviate from a bland, inoffensive all-ages fare.

There are many examples scattered through Marvel, DC and Charlton where the story is heavily biased towards the prevailing status quo. I touched on this previously in the post Iron Man vs. Titanium Man: Then and Then. In the 15 years between the original story and the re-telling Tony Stark went from being unable to beat a helpless foe because he, as a symbol of America was morally and ethically superior to other political systems to someone who would get off on being able to utterly humiliate and crush an enemy. Each story was firmly based in the prevailing sentiment of the era.

One of those stories that was changed between being originally published and reprinted is the story The Unsolid Man from World of Fantasy #13 (August 1958), reprinted in Curse of the Weird #2 (January 1994). The story is marginally about a fugitive running from the law with a bit of science fiction thrown in. There is some silliness about being out of sync with time though it is really better told as an hallucination caused by stress and physical pressure from a ride on a rocket sled.

Between 1958 and 1994 the story was changed ever-so-slightly in content due to the perception of who could safely be demonized by American culture. In the original story a man is labeled a traitor and hounded by the authorities for exercising free speech. It is never clearly stated what the character, Benson, did to deserve such official enmity but he appears educated, carries a guitar and is traveling through Texas. He could be a folk-singer causing unrest through his songs, working for civil rights or a Marxist. What makes this story subversive is that while a reader could easily assume the character was a communist, the props suggests he was more of an "egg-head" and a crank disliked by the powers that be.

That the story was changed was something of a waste of effort. The original story would have had the benefit of perhaps making a new or young reader think and analyze the content of the tale. But an already mediocre tale was retconned to make the story completely forgettable and yet another entry in Marvel's long history of plots driven by the cliche' of the Red Menace.

Benson was called a Communist later in the story, but this was also something as a catch-all phrase used as a pejorative against anyone who did not act like one of the sheep. This is where the creators may have made their opinion towards the establishment known. There is also a little humor in one panel referring to the limits, or lack thereof, of government powers that may be unintentional but closely parallels issues today. Benson is basically attacked and ostracized by Law Enforcement only for his unpopular views. In 1958 this was widely accepted as a valid tactic for silencing those upsetting the apple cart (and is enjoying something of a resurgence in recent years).

In the 1994 reprinting of the story in the crime of lecturing an alternative viewpoint is changed. It is no longer in vogue to beat up intellectuals, no matter how wrong-headed and weird they may be and the Constitution is used and referred to instead of being outright ignored. Benson is not lecturing in this telling and is now accused of calling for the violent destruction of government facilities.
In 1994 the character is no longer a harmless crank. Benson is now depicted as dangerous and unstable. The Law Enforcement officers are not ignorant thugs intolerant of other viewpoints but are actually heroes, rooting out evil as it preys on their children.

Here is the original version of The Unsolid Man from World of Fantasy #13 (August 1958).

If only this was our Earth

In What If v2 #30 (October 1991) Ron Marz* scripted an alternate universe tale of nationwide social change brought about by the activist child of Sue and Reed Richards of the Fantastic Four.

I've always enjoyed this particular page for featuring some look-alike Bush Sr. and Cheney characters when they realize that the orgy of unchecked feeding at the public trough and abuse of a nation for personal gain is over. I think the sequence could easily apply to 2008. Ha ha! That's right guys, you better worry!

Power to the people!

Man, I hope the next guys are better than the last bunch.

* I am so very thankful for all those wonderful, subversive, hippies that worked at Marvel.

Totally uninformed opinion

McCain is surely self-destructing a bit but the media seems to ignore it as usual. I'm cynical enough to think that it sure feels like the fix is in for him to be our next President.

I don't know if Barack or Hillary will be the better choice, but I sure know I don't want another Republican in the White House. I heard McCain giving a speech on the radio while I was driving in to work the other day and I actually thought it was Bush for a while. The manner of speech, tone, topics and cadence sounded exactly like an old speech from George. I've had enough of that. Plus, he's 72 years old and McCain himself said long ago he would be too old to run in 2008. Think about Reagan's mental state during the latter part of his Presidency, who around him was actually running the country back then and take note that the same people are in the halls of power today.

Clinton really needs to suck it up and throw her support behind Obama and beg to be Co-President as soon as feasible and in a way that she does not appear to be weak or a quitter.

You know, I am getting tired of never voting someone in but always voting someone out.

Wife of the Party!

No election is complete without a few things to interest the voters other than the important issues of the economy, terror and immigration! Namely, plenty of sex, sleazy campaign managers, a brain-dead populace, torrid affairs, and factoring in public opinion when choosing a spouse!

From Our Love Story #28 (June 1974).

Comic Book PSA: Don't forget to register

From Showcase #5 (December 1956).

I wonder how many of these things in the PSA are illegal now or legal only because it may influence voters. Literacy test? Giving free babysitting services could be construed as vote-buying and what dirty trick-playing political hack wouldn't try to steer people who have a poor understanding of English into voting for their party? I comprehend English just fine and I have a heck of a time figuring out what those Vote NO on YES ads are really trying to tell me. Don't laugh or sneer until you read some history.

And 37 per cent of eligible voters didn't cast a ballot for President in 1952? I assume this means not the eligible people who were "mistakenly" listed as felons or didn't have photo ID but didn't bother to go to the polls. That 37% gave us Eisenhower and Tricky Dick! Ouch! We all know how that's turned out. Or maybe not. People forget what a candidate said a month ago.

The benefits of registering to vote:

• You get to contribute to making things worse than before.
• One less box to check on that form at the DMV.
• You get called for jury duty.
• Naive yet attractive college-age women may come to your house with many pamphlets, something most comic book fans are not used to.
• 4 a.m. phone calls from auto-dialers with recorded messages about the "issues".
• Going to the Candidates' debate.
• The knowledge that you did something worthwhile, because that annual five dollar donation to the Salvation Army at Thanksgiving just isn't enough to erase all the crappy things you did to everyone all year.
• The smug feeling you get when ignoring all those guys in front of grocery stores trying to get you to sign petitions and register for their preferred party.
• Write-in candidates on ballots, i.e.: SLEESTAK FOR PRESIDENT.
  

Thanks, Chelsea!

"I'm here of my own free will to endorse Sleestak for President. I trust Sleestak more than I do my own Mother. After all, Sleestak would never repeatedly sell me to the highest bidder or strand me on a street corner. Sleestak is for America, by America for all true, honest, decent, hard-working Americans that love America. That is why I fully support Sleestak for President. You should too, because if my Mom is elected again, she'll cut you unless you get her [Expletive Deleted] money right now, [Expletive Deleted]! "

Why you blankety-blank!

Strange Bedfellows

Iron Man vs Titanium Man: Then and Then

Nothing in comics says America and Capitalism like the character of Tony Stark, aka the Invincible Iron Man. While Businessman Lex Luthor might be the more realistic representative of the corporate wheeler-dealer he is the rapacious kind of (to paraphrase Steve Gerber) "grab it all, own it all, drain it all" entrepreneur that we all hope doesn't exist but probably does.

Tony Stark the inventor, the industrialist, the super hero is the kind of guy the Average Joe wants to actually head up a multi-national corporation. A bona-fide hero, he doesn't raid the pension plan or take a billion dollar salary as a reward for laying off thousands of employees. He's environmentally friendly. Tony Stark is no fool though, and is a shrewd businessman who has proved, at least in the Marvel Universe of Finance, that you can be a nice guy and still make billions of dollars.

In the comics Tony Stark has always been the reflection in the mirror held up to American business. During the Cold War and Vietnam he was a genius weapons-maker. In the 70's he built homes for the poor and alienated the government when he determined he would no longer manufacture munitions. During the great Michelinie/Layton/Et Al run in the 80's he fought against personal failures and fought off hostile takeovers from the competition and the Government. The 90's...hurts to talk about. Basically Tony went insane and sucked. In recent years I was really enjoying Tony Stark as the Secretary of Defense until a cross-over screwed up the direction of the book.

It was a new direction and not everyone liked it. After years of status quo in the character where Tony was just the rich industrialist playboy it was nice to see the character do something other than defend his corporate interests. Also, after decades of having various meaty-bits replaced with technology, Tony was being gradually "re-humanized" so the sudden return to Cyborg-Stark is a little annoying. Been there, done that. I guess if you haven't seen it one hundred times before like I have then it's new to you.

So as Tony Stark has usually been written in terms of prevailing American ideology it can be a bit amusing to see the changes to the character over the years. Particularly when you have a writer that has knowledge of continuity and is aware of what has been published previously.

In Tales of Suspense #71 (November 1965), Stan Lee, never one to pass up an opportunity for a little Cold War civics lesson, explains to the kiddies and hep college cats of the mid-60's in the basic differences between Americans and Commies. Stan Lee uses propaganda like a blunt force instrument.





On a trip behind the Iron Curtain, Tony Stark thoroughly beats up and humiliates that symbol of the Soviet military machine the Titanium Man, easily proving American superiority in all things.
After the fight Tony Stark tears off pieces of the armor for a trophy and (who you kidding?) a little reverse engineering. Also in the tradition of all 60's comic book heroes, Iron Man has to rub in the defeat with a lecture.

Don't worry...Lucky for you I'm not a red! I can't continue to attack a helpless enemy!

Notice it wasn't "won't attack", which would display some willful practice of superior methodology and ethics. Instead, Stan uses "can't attack", as if there is something genetic about Americans that make them physically unable to kick a hurt puppy or something.

Stan Lee then tells us the now helpless Titanium Man's greatest fear is that Iron Man will leave him to the mercy of his masters, the evil Commies.

Good old red-baiting Stan.

Cue Iron Man #135 (June 1980). A little over 15 years later the world has changed and so, apparently, have American sensibilities.

Bob Layton and David Michelinie had a great run on Iron Man in this comic era. John Byrne also scripted some good stuff during this time (#'s 258-277), but people have seemingly forgotten about them. They kicked butt, though. In this issue it is the eternal communist Boris Bullski, the Titanium Man who invades America and Tony Stark opens up a industrial-sized can of whup on him.

In a revealing contrast to the events of years before where Iron Man flexed the superiority of his ethical American muscles, Tony Stark pounds the bolts out of the Titanium Man long after he was unable to fight back.

In a parallel to the panels in Lee's Tales of Suspense story, Layton and Michelinie have Iron Man once again forcibly remove chunks of armor from Boris. Iron Man then totally frakows him into next week and really, really enjoys it.

Note the flag.

Not to get on a side rant here but this is a good example of continuity. This is the real thing that allows a writer to expand on a character and isn't the typical stereotype of fan nit-picking that people think makes the trembling geek enraged when an artist gets the number of framistats wrong on the secondary air-lock of the Negative Zone.

From comparing the two stories it's obvious that the Layton/Michelinie team had some familiarity of the IM/TM dynamic and this was America vs. Russia distilled for easy reading. Yes, it is still propaganda but it was that much more palatable due to the Jerry Bingham/Bob Layton art (and because I was also that much more clever than the hippies who read the book back in the 60's and I could never be fooled by such an obvious dramatic ploy).