Monday, August 01, 2005

Oh, Those Glowing Vaginas

There has been a lot of talk in the Internet and forums lately about Glowing Vaginas.

Specifically, the one belonging to mutant witch Wanda Maximoff in the Marvel Comics crossover event House of M. I won't go to into detail about the series because,'s written by the over-worked and stretched-too-thin Brian Bendis. If your search result didn't bring you here by accident then you know all about it. If you got here by clicking on what you thought was an "interesting" link, then look it up yourselves. But I'll give you a little background.

Wanda, aka the Scarlet Witch, is able to re-order reality at her whim. Unbalanced mentally, she had a breakdown when a group of poorly-written superheroes lacking their established characterization banded together to kill her to stop the alterations sweeping the world. At the end of House of M #1, everyone but Spider-Man and Wanda has blinked out of existence. Then Wanda opens up her Big Glowing Vagina and the world as anyone knew it ceases to exist in a wash of bright light and starts over from scratch, completely different.

Now word has come around (I assume from Marvel) that in spite of what everyone is saying, the image I'll show here a bit further down, is not a vagina. Please. Who are they kidding? Of course they have to deny it or else Hillary Clinton will divert federal funds that should be fixing schools to investigate comic book imagery.

So here they are....judge for yourself.

House of M #1 - Not too healthy-looking, young lady...

Mutopia #1 - Oh my, indeed

And in the same time period is a much prettier Glowing Vagina in DC's Return of Donna Troy.

'Starship of the Gods' Yep, that's what I usually call it, too

Unfortunately, as cute as it is, it doesn't belong to hottie Donna.

Nope, it belongs to this guy.

That's right. The best-looking vagina in a comic book belongs to a guy.

Here's a golden-oldie from DC, written in the time known as 'Pre-Crisis', from the Phantom Zone mini-series drawn by Gene Colan, featuring the Man of Steel, Superman.

Of course, Marvel, being a leader in the comic field, is not content to stop with vaginas. They plunge on ahead with this, from the X-Men.

What is she going to do with that, you suppose?

Just so comic books aren't left holding the bag, here are some more images and not just from comics.

I don't mind the writers or artists sneaking in a suggestive image or three. Just don't be so obvious about it, is all I'm saying.

Take an artistic hint from the Morrison/Van Sciver 'subliminal sex' opus in New X-Men #118 for the clever way to do it.


  1. You miss the point. Sure, it's a goofy post. But it is also true. Sexual imagery abounds. Either used for titilation or as a sign of rebirth, as in the case of HoM.

  2. See, I'm not so sure those are vaginas, though. They're not filled with teeth and trying to destory your life...

  3. In art, they're called a mandorla ("almond" shape) and yep, they're meant to be vaginal/birth/creation of the world symbols. Been around for centuries, in less squeamish times.
    I always thought you could tell a lot about an artist's psyche (male or female) by whether they're glowy-magical portals/windows to another world or devouring toothed things. Adds a whole new level to Japanese comics. Good luck analyzing the dimensional portals in Dr. Strange-era Ditko. I think we can guess Joe Quesada's attitude without bothering to look; I'm guessing green and poisonous.


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