Happy Birthday, Son!

23 years old today?

Wow.

This kid is pretty lucky. Having a birthday so close to Christmas in most families means that the youngster often gets ripped off gift and party-wise. The holiday and the celebration are often combined. That sucks! But not only did we as parents make sure his birthday and Christmas were as equitable as if they were months apart, we also gave him two parties. One would be low-key in December because friends and families are burnt out. The other party would be a few months later and would be the big blow-out par-tay!. Not only would people be recovered emotionally from the holidays but financially as well, ensuring enough time had passed so my son didn't get re-gifted the crappy Christmas presents that nobody wanted.

Oh, like no one else would do or has done that, too. Liars.

If anyone wants to send presents then please make it in the form of cash or something that can be readily changed into cash.

HE isn't from outer space, he's the AUTHOR

Still feeling unclean from that purposefully horribly-structured X-Files "fan-fic" I posted yesterday. It was more of an exercise in provenance than anything else, though I did enjoy the idea of a sequel of sorts to the Bat Thing episode and the idea of a Dana Scully ready to open up a barrel of whoop-ass. Also, a reference to Mulder showing and feeling his age because he doesn't trust the benefits of medical advances that everyone else takes advantage of was funny. I was amused by the thought of Dana appearing 35 and grrrrrr-hot while Mulder is thin, turkey-necked, creaking and firmly in his 70s.

The concept of the Sof-Wall© comes from Tru Dat. An as yet unpublished opus of mine, Tru Dat is about what happens to a person during an era of unprecedented access to private information. Due to a compromised suite of programs called True Data released into the wild, personal privacy is all but gone and the most trivial, minute detail of anyone's life is open for casual perusal. Being boring is one's only haven from constant intrusion and meddling by friends and strangers.

The Sof-Wall© is just my idea of taking the interactive environment that exists today mostly as art installations to an extreme. In the future, I see people totally immersed in sensation, shapes and images, based upon their personalized Tru Dat preferences, that is reflected in their physical environments via shifting, malleable objects and structures. Residential walls will be the least of the advances, serving mostly as interfaces for entertainment and information.

I think it is inevitable that gesture and voice commands will relatively soon be commonplace in our environments. It is already available in a nascent form for entertainment and communication purposes. A universal user interface for technology, that can adapt to needs and requirements is not only very likely but also necessary.

Winding up season 9 of the X-Files on the tablet. I watch about one episode a day sitting in the car during lunch at work. Our break room is a freak show, uncomfortable and no one SHUTS UP and LEAVES ME ALONE. Yes, some of those episodes are nearly unwatchable but the good episodes are great. Looking around the internet I noticed there are no decent pictures (other than Scully in her dirty, dirty shoes*) of the fictional book cover From Outer Space written by two-off X-Files character Jose Chung.

So in LTMS-style I decided to create one of my own. I found a nice painting of a classic Roswell alien (from the book Communion that From Outer Space is riffing on), shifted some colors, added some science fiction-y text, a cigarette and some smoke. The smoke was the hardest part given my level of photo manipulation skills (somewhere south of a North Korean propaganda minister).

The result was a reasonable facsimile of the cover to Jose Chung's From Outer Space, as seen in the 1996 X-Files episode of the same name. Use it as wallpaper, a treeware notebook cover, tarantula habitat liner or however you want. This is fair-use fan-art so be cool and don't stick it on anything for sale without entering into some agreement with the original artist for the painting of the alien and probably whoever owns the X-Files franchise. It's also uncool to gank it, put your logo on it and slap it on your site. You know who you are.

I'm a big science and science-fiction nerd-fan but I don't believe for a moment in anything supernatural or of super-nature. Science as we know it just doesn't support all the fringe claims of weirdness out there. But when I first read Communion back in 1987 I have to admit it was the only thing in my life as an adult that ever gave me recurring screaming nightmares. I'd read a chapter and that night have the most awful dreams. Typically, I embrace nightmares. They are not at all scary and like thunderstorms, I think they are great and entertaining. Fear is the mind-killer, you know.

Yet reading the book by Whitley Streiber messed me up on a predictable basis. It got so bad that as an experiment I'd forego reading it for a couple of days just to see what happened and would sleep like a baby on whiskey and sedatives. Then I'd read a chapter and that night wake up to the sound of an apple being crunched in my head** and losing my crap. I mean I was shaking, sweating and had the whole feeling like I'm dying thing.

Someone who believed in aliens (don't get me wrong, I want to believe. Aliens would be great!) would propose that the book was bringing repressed memories of when I was abducted by aliens to the surface. But that is stupid. Unless of course I repressed memories of being kidnapped by a pervert when I was young and the descriptions of Streiber's "true story" was causing me to recall them and causing my discomfort. Nah.

I eventually made it through the book but it was a rough couple of weeks. A few years later I saw the movie based on the novel and it was hilarious***.

*What?
** FYI, Whit. It's called "waking up during mid-snore".
*** An alien glory-hole vacuum probe. Are you kidding me?

X-Files: 2025

The bed room air quickly cooling to her preferred temperature, lights slowly dialing up and the soft trill of her phone connection roused Dana Scully from her sleep. A glance at the shifting patterns of the malleable Sof-Wall© revealed it was 2:09 in the morning. With an irritated gesture of one hand that was detected and interpreted by the house sensors Scully halted the standardized announcements and home preparation of a phone call. Scully knew a call that early was never a good thing and another gesture dimmed the lights back to their previous darkened setting. years of sharply-honed instincts told Scully it was better to remain in a covert mode until she was better informed.

"This better not be you, Mulder." Scully grumbled. In spite of advanced medicine she often felt, if not appeared physically, all of her more than 60 years. "I'm retired from the FBI, NSA and medicine and too old for chasing monsters."

Scully sighed and rose from the bed, pulling her robe closed around her. "Ugh. I'm a mess. Audio only, answer call."

A wave form representing the connection rippled on the Sof-Wall© followed by the sound hisses and crackles. Scully frowned. "What, it's 1993?" she mused. There was another moment of static and then a male voice could be heard. "Mom? Are you there?" The voice sounded as if it came from an incredible distance but it was instantly recognizable to Scully. It was her long missing son!

"William? William! It's been over ten years! Where are you? What's wrong?" Scully felt her heart beat rapidly, over-riding the software in the coronary nan-bots of her health prescription. "It's been years! Where are you?" There was a pause and then William responded. "No time to explain, Mom! Do you still have your old field weapon? You need to protect yourself right now! Hurry!"

The house pinged and symbols for a lost connection scrolled across the wall. Not hesitating any further Scully gestured at her bed and the Sof-Wall© opened a secure pocket, ejecting a shiny SIG-Sauer P228. Scully snatched it from the temporary shelf-tongue, grabbed the magazine and slammed the it into the weapon, jacking a round into he chamber and taking the safety off in smooth, well-remembered actions. The gun was an old nearly obsolete weapon but still deadly. "Kind of like myself." Scully muttered grimly. Somehow, William had known his mother was in danger and she was experienced enough not to dismiss the warning as some conspiratorial feint to deceive, inveigle or obfuscate.

Suddenly, the bedroom window shuddered under a terrific impact. The Sof-Wall© shifted and the artifice of a window vanished and merged with the rest of the wall as the house responded to the attack, transforming into a protective mode. Scully chuckled. Whatever was seeking to gain entrance through the mock windows wasn't very smart, not being aware enough to realize that actual windows and doors were nothing but programmable and temporary transparent sections or portals in the structure of modern Sof-Wall© housing.

Scully heard a piercing shriek of frustrated rage and then there was a rapid pounding of fists on the wall. A short thrill of fear arced through her but Scully swiftly crushed it down. She was used to weirdness. Standing directly in front the area of the raucous disturbance Scully calmly took up a shooter's stance and said "Interrogation room." A section of the wall immediately cleared but only one way. She could see out through the wall but the raging attacker could not see in, like an the one-way mirror into a law enforcement interview room. It was a common privacy setting for most homes, only the name was personalized. To Scully's irritation, Mulder called the one-way setting the "Sexy Exhibitionist Peep Show."

Scully shook her head, recognizing the pale, scrabbling shape and vestigial but functional wings that beat on the exterior of the nigh-impenetrable house. "Well." She said. "It took you long enough. House...STARBUCK"

The house data net pinged an acknowledgement and in a matter of a few seconds it responded. Swiftly, a long narrow slit in the shape of a crucifix formed in the Sof-Wall©, mimicking in design the arrow slit favored by ancient castle builders to fire projectiles through at enemy soldiers. Sensing the gap opening in the wall the maddened bat creature put it's face up to the opening and screamed. Scully stepped up to the arrow slit and aimed her gun directly into the toothy maw of the monster. It had hunted for Scully over many decades out of revenge for a fallen mate and moments from perceived victory it realized that something was wrong. A strange guttural noise of surprised issued from the red-lipped mouth. "That's right." Scully said grimly. "Ruh-Roh!"

The creature made a motion to flee put Scully was too fast, too prepared. She fired her gun, emptying the entire clip into the face of the bat-creature before it could duck out of sight or fly away. Smoke filled the arrow slit but only briefly as the house whisked away harmful or unpleasant pollutants. Scully peered through the gap in the wall and a medical diagnostic screen appeared on the Sof-Wall©, confirming the creature was indeed truly dead, though the absence of most of it's head by the impact of twenty-four high powered rounds of ammunition was confirmation enough for Scully. She was sure it would not leap up and attack when she least expected it to. After all, she was a medical doctor. Tucking the warm gun into the pocket of her robe Scully turned away from the still form of the creature, remarking, "There is no scientific explanation for you being so stupid."

Snapping her fingers and gesturing, Scully let the house return to normal mode after confirming that law enforcement was indeed notified and on it's way. While she waited she poured herself a glass of wine and wondered where William, her baby, was now and how he managed to glean she was being threatened. She hoped he was thriving though there was no conclusive evidence to suggest otherwise. She knew, though, that she would not rest until she was able to hold William in her arms again. She would have to locate William, wherever he may be. Scully made a decision, knowing she might regret it. "House...Call You-Know-Who."

The Sof-Wall© formed a video screen and moments later it connected, depicting the image of a handsome man with a heavily lined face that showed the results of eschewing medical nano-bots. Scully sighed. "Mulder, it's me."

Separated at Birth?

Interesting that in the absence of the classic Fourth World characters to yet be fully realized in the NewDCU that Professor Insidd, the sadistic Yellow Lantern has a look similar to the Jack Kirby design of Desaad. While the Prof and the Apokolptian interrogator have the same sadistic predilections and toothy grin it is Desaad's hair and the skull designs on Insidd that are creepily similar.

From the Collection: From Friend to Friend

From Friend to Friend: A Partnership in Friendship (1916) by Edwin Osgood Grover.

Monday With Hayley Mills: Our Ways Will Part

Eerie, suspenseful music by Hans Zimmer inserted by a fan into a scene from the 1961 Hayley Mills film Whistle Down the Wind (1961). Fans really like using this song in other movies.

Here's the opening scene with original soundtrack intact. Be shocked at the casual cruelty, rejoice as HAYLEY SAVES SOME KITTENS!

Little thing, you have taught me only hygiene

Swamp Thing #50 represent!

Ad from Baffling Mysteries #22 (1954).

Ripping the curtain

As a kid I was a voracious reader of science fiction, fantasy and science and this book is definitely firmly of the first and second category. I like how the publisher got their money's worth from the photo shoot for including pics of the "It's a bird! It's a plane! It's Vartox!"crowd on the front and back covers.

What comic book fans of the 70s obsessed about

Way back in March of 1970 the comic book everyone was talking about was Iron Man #23. The reason all the Marvel aficionados were abuzz was due to the unusual printing format of the issue itself. Upon picking up the magazine of the spinner rack at the local 7-11 many Iron Fans were stunned that there was no real splash or title page to the issue. We all said What The..? Within days all the cool kids were talking about it and without a steady stream of info from the internet that exists today we had to resort to speculation, anger, threats and yes, even some tears as frustration set in.
What was odd about Iron Man #23 was that it appears the splash page, that first introductory full page panel that grabs your attention and sets the scene for thrills and excitement to follow, was used for the cover itself! In the two page spread above one can see that the story begins on the cover! It didn't seemed to have been originally planned that way as the credits seem rather perfunctory and placed more in mind for the little space available than giving full creator credits like most issues. Pretty unusual for the day indeed and what was even more odd that the cover is not artistically disconnected from the interior story! As all Marvel fans know each cover of their magazines that does not exactly match up to the story is not false or misleading advertising. No! It is actually a snapshot of an alternate and wholly separate Marvel reality!

When you think about it (and I do) Iron Man #23 is probably the only comic book published by Marvel where the cover is actually a part of the 616 multiverse! Minds were blown. Not right then, though. That happened years later, when the 616 universe began to be explored and fully realized. But comic book fans have the amazing ability to obsess upon and recall even the tiniest and most insignificant occurrence. So when the Marvel multiverse began to receive full saturation over the various titles many fans did indeed lose their crap when they remembered Iron Man #23.

One wonders what occurred that caused the planned cover for Iron Man #23 to have been replaced by the splash page. Lost in the mail? The Dreaded Deadline Doom? Screw up? We may never know. But Marvel made up for it later in that very same issue with this full pager by George Tuska, Mike Gaudioso (aka Esposito) and letterer Jean Izzo. The colorist is uncredited and that's a shame because it was a pretty good effort.

Pretty neat, huh? This page would have made a great Third Eye poster like those funky Doctor Strange ones!

Alias Mr. Sanders

Monday With Hayley Mills: Flame Trees of Thika

From 1984 comes this small entertainment show interview with Hayley Mills regarding her career, marriage and television drama The Flame Trees of Thika.

Based on a novel by prolific author Elspeth Huxley, Flame Trees documents the difficulties of an immigrant family adapting to a harsh African region, albeit one controlled by the British Empire. The dramatic struggles and hard-ships of the occupying population should be taken with a grain of salt and especially so in the film version. Much of the drama comes from what people today call First World Problems. Elspeth Huxley, taking from her own experiences growing up in Thika (pronounced Tee-ka), documented the negative effects of colonialism caused by various invading or meddling foreign countries. Perhaps given perceived audience sensibilities and time constraints the horrible social inequalities between cultures is somewhat thin, something the book explored in richer detail.

Hayley Mills and the rest of the cast does a good job with the material that was given them. I would have preferred that everyone stretched a bit more but this film was made for the purpose of entertainment, not education or to deliver a scolding. But maybe early 1980s Britain wasn't ready to have their past laid bare and exposed to them to the extent the mini-series could have done had it followed the novel a bit more faithfully.

A Topical 2011 Season's Greeting from Lady, That's My Skull

It's a holiday e-card! I usually don't put in attribution of anything I make just for the joy of sharing but this year to heck with it because screw those guys. If anyone is going to gank this image then they will have to do a little bit of work to claim it as their own.

Hope this year finds everybody doing great.

Remember those days?

THAT PERIOD WHERE FRANK MILLER WASN'T DRAWING MUCH OTHER THAN COVERSBECAUSE MARVEL KNEW WE WOULD BUY ANYTHING BY FRANK MILLER WITHOUT CHECKING THE INTERIOR ART FIRST

I would have bought this issue anyways because ROM that's why!

Dark Invasion

Marvel Science Stories #5 (1935)

OWS 1138

Watching and reading about the Occupy Wall Street protests and the out of proportion responses initially left me having trouble reconciling the image of heroic police officers I maintain with the violent thugs that seem to be acting to protect the status quo of the powerful.

But that confusion did not last long. What I quickly realized was that the authorities acting in brutish ways are not new. It was just new to me. There exists in America entire cultures that for them the authorities sweeping in and busting their skulls is just same stuff, different day. There are communities in every city that rarely or never observe an heroic action, a helpful hand or someone who promises to make it all better. To the disenfranchised "To Protect and To Serve" means nothing except state-sponsored graffiti on official cars and vans.

It was by accident of birth and economic status that I was surprised the local governments and their foot soldiers would douse protestors with chemicals, arrest them without cause or as a flimsy excuse for convenience to teach the uppity a lesson and inflict injuries. It was me being a Caucasian, middle-class male that afforded me the opportunity to be insulated from the atrocities and violation of rights many others are victim to on a daily basis.

I should have known better. When I was in The Biz many years ago I made it a point to not issue citations to the economically challenged dude operating a rusted-out Chevy if I couldn't write a ticket to the wealthy guy driving a Porsche for the same offense. I knew position had privileges but I tried to make things a bit more equal. I was never in a situation to witness or be a part of the kind of crack-down Law Enforcement is currently inflicting on peaceful activists.

The dismay, shock and anger so many are now expressing is probably also an eye-opening experience. This generation is removed from the repercussions of crossing the bosses and monkey-wrenching their plans. The scale of what is going on today with Occupy Wall Street is similar in scope, if not message, to the 1960s Peace and Civil Rights movements. The practices of the Occupy movement are something that today's protestors have only heard about from their parents, grandparents or read about online or in books. Many were not prepared for the depths the powerful will sink to in order to force obedience, obeisance and to ensure everyone keeps buying junk, junk and more junk on ever-dwindling paychecks.

I've even come to believe that for the most part the only reason crimes are solved and police intercede at all is because the populace at large absolutely would not accept utter anarchy. If common street crime many live with daily encroached on their manicured lawns a certain group of people would do more than change donations to the political candidate of their choice. They would be shrill as an air raid siren with a broken off-switch. Annoy a few million of the upper-class base and changes would definitely be made starting at the top, something those in charge are terrified of. So a thin blue line is drawn, not between chaos and order but between those in power and the people. Once again stating the obvious there are already a vast number of Americans who have been experiencing this for decades if not centuries.

I'm not saying that Law Enforcement is bad from top to bottom. There are caring, heroic members out there who are just doing their jobs in the best way they can. But it is clear that when the pepper spray canisters and riot batons come out, they reveal who they really work for.

It isn't us.

Creepy, Lolita-ish comic book story from Chamber of Secrets #28

I've long maintained that the creative teams of comic books, chafing under restrictions of the pre and post-Comics Code era, took extra pains to include imagery and situations that managed to sneak in under the radar of the editors and censors. Quite a few examples can be found in the 1955 issue of Chamber of Secrets #28. The entire story is rife with Lolita-ish situations between the seemingly under-aged Julep and the much older hero, Detective Kerry Drake. In the above sequence of panels the artist managed to not only ensure that Julep showed her underwear (technically, part of her bathing suit ensemble) at nearly every opportunity to the audience and Drake, but also managed to sneak in a faux-bondage scene in the third panel that is oddly bereft of dialog.

The entire story jumps around a bit and the the tale of how Kerry Drake smashed a smuggling ring is not as interesting as the rinteraction between Julep and the Detective. The following panel of Julep and Drake, after a make-out session on the beach (to fool a gang of smugglers into believing the pair isn't snooping), definitely gives the appearance of being in the inappropriate relationship category.

It Has Become Fashionable to Use Chemicals on People with Opinions

Not what he meant, but it was a fun few minutes to make anyway.

Later that day...

Never ceases to amuse when the spambots scrape content and network items that are not positive or otherwise supportive of the product or services someone is posting about.

"Close enough" is loser talk

I really want an on-model Parade Hater Horace sweater for Christmas. Sadly, I can't trust anyone in my family to have one made and to do it right. Invariably they would get something wrong. Something about the sweater, probably more than one element, would be off and ruin everything. The color, style, size, material or the all important typography of the garment would be "close enough" or sub-par. I want to squeal with joy and pump my fist in the air, not look disappointingly at my clan, lip curling with barely concealed distaste, and mutter a halfhearted thanks. Since my stated gift-giving goal every Christmas is to absolutely crush the giving abilities of others it is obvious I'll have to do it myself if I want it done right.

Operation Awesome Christmas has begun!

Egnarts Rotcod

Even with the recent successes of Iron Man, Captain America and Thor movies this is about as close as fans will ever get to a Doctor Strange flick, the 1992 direct-to-VHS Doctor Mordrid, Master of the Unknown.

Any comic book fan with even a passing familiarity to the early history of Doctor Strange will recognize this cheesy though enjoyable film as as an adaptation of the classic Doctor Strange vs. Dormamuu story arc as told in the Strange Tales comic book series of the 1960s. This entry into cult film status was an improvement over the 1978 Doctor Strange television movie (as was the Doctor Strange-ish F/X short by animator and filmmaker Mike Jittlov, which I believe was called Doctor Magic or something, which you should watch if you ever get a chance).

As 90s as this movie is there was no moss was growing on lead actor Jeffery Coombs as the Master of the Unknown. He's a great addition to many films and television shows, The Frighteners and Deep Space Nine for a few examples. The reason why Marvel didn't sue the Agamotto out of the production company for DM: TMOTU was because the script was initially intended for another live-action Doc Strange film but was re-written when the option expired.

Monday with Hayley Mills: Seek and ye shall find

I have noticed a huge increase in searches for Hayley Mills over the last few weeks, mostly leading people to the LTMS entry about her first uncredited screen appearance as an infant in the 1947 film So Well Remembered.

I don't know what in the public consciousness has created the buzz and interest but it is extremely gratifying for this fan. Thankfully, again, the search terms are not queries about her state of undress and a lot of the searches are not based in England. Many of the searches are originating from all over the world.

Not that Hayley doesn't have fans from all over the planet (ticket sales at the Hayley Mills Celebratory Complex are brisk as ever) regularly checking up on her status but this is more than usual.

Today on Monday With Hayley Mills is a 1960s clip from a Disney newsreel or television episode featuring the Mills family visiting the newly opened Swiss Family Tree House. The Mills family toured the tree house in support of the film The Swiss Family Robinson starring her father, John Mills. No, Hayley did not appear in that film though I've had quite a few people insist she did. The role of "Bertie" that Hayley would have been perfectly adorable in was ably played by Janet Munroe.

Robots with Brains

Credited to Nathaniel Nitkin (N. N. Nathaniel) is this two page pulp-inspired illustrated story Robots with Brains from Weird Comics #11 (February 1941).

No surprises here and the story seems to be missing a few paragraphs in the beginning but the image of the robot chauffeur taking the hero for a ride is postable.

Text stories are seemingly out of place in old comics but they were often included in comic books and comic magazines to allow the periodical to qualify for better shipping rates.

I mean it, really

Update in three months.

Lost Thanksgiving

For those of you who can't get enough this Thanksgiving of an unwilling gathering of hairy, cretinous members of an extended family, bickering siblings and manipulative parents desperately seeking an escape from their surroundings I present a classic Land of the Lost episode in two online parts.

Originally broadcast in December of 1974, "Stone Soup" tells the story of Rick Marshall, who tires of his children Will and Holly constantly fighting. Rick is also attempting to gain the reluctant and opportunistic acceptance of the native Pakuni tribe. Rick employs a cooperative lesson based on the old Stone Soup fable, from which the episode takes it name, to bring the families together and save the region from an environmental disaster.

Stone Soup, Part One

Stone Soup, Part Two

When Dinosaurs Ruled the Earth

Oh, no! Susie Derkins and Mr. Bun have taken an unscheduled trip into the past to when dinosaurs ruled the Earth! Calvin should not have left the keys in the time machine for just anyone to stumble upon but then again he isn't the most responsible little guy.

I was nostalgic for Calvin and Hobbes so I threw this image together as a lark. The idea that Calvin would just shrug and go play when he discovered his time machine was missing tickled me. Only Hobbes would be likely to show some curiosity or concern when he realized Susie was also nowhere to be found. He would have to badger Calvin into a rescue mission, the result being that both of them would probably get sidetracked by mutants, homework and clones until long after Susie made it back to present day on her own, no thanks to Calvin and his tiger. I just wrote 2 weeks worth of dailies and a full color Sunday strip in my head just now.

All original art elements by Bill Watterson and amateurish cut-and-paste by me. If he sees this I hope he approves.

What have I done?

This Pollyanna tribute for Hayley Mills turned out way more disturbing than I thought it would be. Somewhere it lost the goofy cuteness. Don't play with photos when on pain medication, kids.

More like FUNGLASSES, am I right?

In what will surely be a boon to fashion houses and the international economy, Saudi women with attractive or tempting eyes may soon be forced to wear concealing sunglasses. I have no doubt that right this moment there are executives from eye wear manufacturing companies everywhere dancing on their chairs, high fiving each other and scrambling to get prototypes approved for export.

If the resolution passes and concealing eye wear is a mandatory attire for Islamic women how long until some wingnut pundit declares that wearing sunglasses is un-American?

Well, at least if America sells spectacles to the middle east the most we have to worry about is getting re-gifted a scratched pair of Oakleys. That's an improvement over the the guns and bombs we export that later get used against us.

What is it, Lassie? Sleestak needs insulin?

I'm not going to turn into one of those bloggers who constantly share my health problems but the other night I went to the ER for crippling back pain. After about 7 hours I left with mighty, mighty fine pain-killers and pills that lower my ridiculously high blood sugar. Apparently the blood sugar issue was why I felt so exhausted the last few months.

It was a good thing I changed my diet a few years ago or I would have been in quite the fix today. Fortunately I don't have to make a major lifestyle change and instead just a few tweaks here and there should do the trick. I'm not going cold turkey on cheeseburgers and pizza since I rarely eat those anyways but I do have to cut way back on the fruit though.

Man, I'm gonna miss the daily bananas and melon for breakfast.

Diabetes has a way of sneaking up on you and once it sets in there is no going back. Considering my diet and lifestyle I was pretty surprised when the doctor told me I was borderline. So whatever condition you are in, even if you feel otherwise healthy like I do, get to a doctor, free clinic or whatever you need to do to get a physical every so often.

Thanks, genetics!

Missed Message

Classic Beatles tune that is as adapted and attached to various causes about as much "We Gotta Get Outta This Place" by the Animals. Amusingly and somewhat disappointingly most comments on video sites and forums seem centered on what George says to Paul at eleven seconds into the clip.

Another American Gothic gag

A recent episode of Dexter depicted the serial killer and his murderous impulse, in the form of his dead brother, standing in front of a power mower advertisement after dispatching a blackmailer in an homage to American Gothic, the famous painting by Grant Wood.

Farmers Market Fruit and Produce

I bet Hayley Mills never shouted, threw a tantrum and assaulted a grocery store clerk because some item was sold out or there were more than three people waiting in a line at a register.

Take a cue from Hayley Mills, folks and behave yourself. Life is too short to go aggro about long supermarket lines.

Also, eat your vegetables!

WHAT

Man, I forgot how bat-crazy this country once was.

Seven Billion

A few weeks ago it was determined that there are approximately seven billion human beings alive on planet Earth. It has been estimated that in 1370 world population was only about 370 million. Yeesh. Humanity is having a huge impact on the planet and something's got to give. How do we keep that up?

Click the picture to see more, please.

I think George Bailey would approve

A credit union in San Diego is culturally savvy and timely enough to insert an OWS-inspired Guy Fawkes image in their hustle to bring customers over to them from the big banks for Bank Transfer Day tomorrow. I changed the name of the credit union to something fictional but the rest of the ad is real.

No one can go on being a rebel too long without turning into an autocrat

It's been a while so I think it is time to revisit The Futura Saga!

For those not familiar with Futura, here is a synopsis: Futura is the story of an office secretary named Marcia Reynolds who was shanghaied into space to serve as the test-subject of aliens seeking to repopulate their waning empire. Futura nee Marcia Reynolds experienced a hero's journey in a tale that lasted nearly a decade in a late 1940s Planet Comics serial published by Fiction House publications.

Even as they necessarily catered to a primarily young male market Fiction House was known for their depiction of strong, empowered females. Futura in particular usually held her own without the story resorting to the cliche of the heroine being rescued by a man at the last moment.

You can read all the Planet Comics chapters of Futura and the 1980s revival here: The Futura Saga.

I'm Slutty, Fly Me

There are a lot of reasons why the 1990s nearly caused the extinction of the comic book industry and this recent male-fantasy scene transplanted from that era to the 2011 issue of Hood and the Outlaws #2 is one of them.

While enthusiastic that DC Comics is trying to rejuvenate their product line I'm less happy about their repeating the same mistakes of the 90s today.

Hyper-sexualized and idealized characters have always existed in comics but it is the distinct and ridiculous art stylings and themes of over a decade past that is proving irritating for the company-wide do-over for the "New 52".

It is not just the art in this issue that is notable. The shift in characterization of the alien Starfire, who in issue #1 was treated and depicted as little more than a life support system for a vagina, is much more sensitive to the ribald shenanigans of one of her team mates then she was previously portrayed. She was scripted to act annoyed and offended, which was pretty much against her recent characterization as oblivious to earthling mores.

What might issue #3 hold, monogamy and celibacy?

A repost, but hey, it's Halloween and Jack Kirby

The Master of Terror

What is the most terrifying piece of cinema ever created?

Was it Frankenstein? The Ring? Dawn of the Dead? The Blob? Godzilla? That episode of Trilogy of Terror with the doll? Some have voted Psycho or the Exorcist as two of the most frightening movies ever made. Alien is right up there near the top as its theme of infection and horrible death resonates with people.

But for my money most films are too transparent in their gore or attempts to shock to be truly frightening. Subtlety was often lost as film technology allowed creators to show in graphic detail what film-makers of the past could only hint at. While the immediate payoff and shock value rose the true fear, that of the unknown, waned. One over-looked "Master of Terror" who understood that horror usually requires some subtle direction is from Warner Bros. Studios and he worked exclusively in the animation department. That director is none other than Chuck Jones of Merrie Melodies and Looney Tunes fame.

Along with a crew of talented creators Chuck Jones helped produce for the movie theater market one of the scariest 7 minutes of film ever made, the animated short Claws For Alarm, featuring Sylvester the Cat and Porky Pig. Originally presented en masse to unsuspecting children during movie matinees in 1954 the film probably caused untold thousands in steam-cleaning bills to theater seats after each subsequent showing.

See for yourself at this link for those who can't detect the embedded video: Claws for Alarm

Claws For Alarm is actually a remake of Scaredy Cat (1948) and absolutely nails it by keeping the horror elements less obvious. Viewers may find the plot of Claws For Alarm familiar as later films have presented similar themes most famously the 1973 and 2011 creep-fests Don't Be Afraid of the Dark.

How to induce a migraine

Watch the trailer for Columbiana.

Created, apparently, by a recent film school grad who watched too much reality tv and video game commercials as a kid. Try to count up to "2 Mississippi" before the scene vibrates and flashes to another, taking a piece of a retina with it.

Pssst! Hey...

Da boys want a chat witchu.

Meatier Crater, Arizona

"50,000 years ago during the Pleistocene era a T-Bone steak weighing an estimated 300,000 metric tons impacted the earth in Arizona at a speed of approximately 13 kilometers per second. Heated to an internal temperature of 180 degrees by passage through the atmosphere the steak's impact formed a 1,200 meter in diameter, 170 meter deep crater. The tasty impact crater, designated as Site A1 by the U.S. Geological survey has since become a popular tourist destination. It is claimed by Texas as a registered historical landmark even though it is situated in the Arizona region. While the high arid desert has preserved the crater from overgrowth several large deciduous trees have grown in the vicinity of the meateor, making it fancy."

Occupy the Temple

Apologetics try to forget the fable from the Infancy Gospel of Thomas 4:1 of a boy murdered by the Son of God for being innocently disrespectful of a King. A very valuable tool of control was creating out of whole cloth a culturally relevant history to teach people they better not dare to oppose their Earthly masters and remain slaves under the yoke of oppression. It is an old and continuing trick. Rebels will suffer God's Will and be destroyed by magic or through His proxies, people with knives, stones and clubs if they do not fall in line. Life was hard and cheap 2000 years ago. Everyone in a village working hard for most of a 24-hour period meant a person might get a full meal if they were lucky. Fear of punishment or death from righteous torture via the Church or for the more gullible, divine wrath, was a way that the parasites of any community, the religious leaders, got away with not contributing anything to society.

Sorry, sweetheart. I haven't got time for anything else

Hayley Mills: Cooler than you even with a pink light sabre.

Maj. Joshua Sleestak (ret.) Continental Army, 1806

Took a bit of internet searching on and off during the last year but I finally found some real world provenance for the origin of the 'Sleestak' name for the fictional lizard creatures populating the pocket universe of the classic 1970s television show The Land of the Lost. According to the episode Follow That Dinosaur (Season 1, Episode 13) the native Altrusians were colloquially named 'Sleestak' by a time-lost soldier from the Revolutionary War because they reminded him of his commanding officer from his service in the Continental Army, Major Joshua Sleestak. Sometimes truth is stranger than fiction. Executive Producer for the show David Gerrold must have been a history buff.

That's Some Ditko

A lot of the Deep Space 9 good/bad character design of the exiled Cardassian secret policeman Garak seems inspired by Steve Ditko. The clothing pattern and the alien facial structure (via Amazing Spider-Man #2) always impressed me as very Ditko-ish.