Beware of Dog

My dog is cool and he is not like those other stupid pets a family members owns. His name is "LT" and my mom says it is after some San Diego football player but I disagree because they suck and are choking wussies and it really means "Lotta Trouble" or "Little Tyke" depending on what he is getting into.

"LT" is a smart Chihuahua who protects our house by hiding in the flowers and alerting us to evil-doers.

But "LT" does not work for free.


"LT" hears a cry for help from the open sewer line and investigates. Is Little Timmy trapped again?

"LT" slams the lid on the open pipe, muffling Timmy's cries for help. "LT" is of the opinion anyone who falls down a small pipe is too stupid to have a TV Movie of the Week made about them.

Good dog.

5 Years

5 years in Iraq.

Is the view for their future any clearer than the one through this bullet-riddled windshield?

Photo by Karim Kadim, AP.

The Shat needs a penny

Arthur C. Clarke: 1917-2008

I am of that age now that many of the people I consider my heroes from my childhood (for various reasons of accomplishment or wild talent) are in their 60s or above and I know that soon they will not be with us for much longer. The terrible morbid truth is that all my heroes probably have less time remaining on earth than they have spent walking it.

So it was no great surprise but it was with great sadness that noted author and visionary Arthur C. Clarke has died at the age of 90. I hope his remaining years were in comfort and were happy ones. I confess to being perplexed by his living arrangements in Sri Lanka, but from what I saw in a rare filmed interview a few years ago he seemed to be enjoying himself.

Of course, like many Science Fiction fans of my generation it was the blockbuster novel Rendezvous With Rama that got me hooked on Clarke at a young age. His background aided him in putting "hard" facts of science into his writings and gave a sense of authenticity to his work. It is hard to point out a better author and creator among his contemporaries. Even when his personal and religious beliefs were echoed by the characters and in the structured reality of his works it wasn't a lecture as some writers are apt to force the reader to suffer through. Rather it merely added a sense of wonder to his created universes.

Rendezvous With Rama anecdote: When the book came out in paperback it was very popular among young readers. I often saw some well-worn and tattered library or personally-owned copy of Rama clutched in the hands of children as they rushed about to and from school. A good number of kids were deeply interested in the book and hopefully a love of reading stayed with them and grew. This unusual activity and enjoyment of books would again occur years later (though with much more media fanfare) as the Harry Potter series diverted children away from television and video games and children everywhere lugged around hardbound copies of the Rowling books. Once again, Arthur C. Clarke was ahead of the curve.

ROBOT WOMAN

By Basil Wolverton, Weird Mysteries #2 (February 1952).

It's funny because it's true

Time for Love #37 (December 1973).

Nice segue

Comic book storytelling is a lost art.

Menace #4 (July 1954).

Dave Stevens, RIP

As reported by Mark Evanier, artist Dave Stevens died yesterday after an illness.

Being a Pulp and Serials fan, Dave Stevens was an artist whose work I really liked. I absolutely loved the Rocketeer (the Disneyesque Nazi Rocketmen faux-propaganda cartoon in the film adaptation alone was worth the price of the ticket) and was disappointed that fans were never able to receive much in the way of a continuing adventures of the series due to the ups and downs of the independent comic book industry of the 1980s and his glacial pace.
Most fans focus on the Good Girl art aspect of Stevens' output and I fully appreciate it myself and understand the interests (It could be argued that the resurgence in popularity of the real Bettie Page could be attributed to exposure of his Betty character from the book at Cons in the 80s). But for me it was always the homage to the adventure serials of days past that really drew me to the book. I haven't been exposed to much of his work in the last decade or so but every now and then I revisit the series and read them all over again. I always hoped that someday he would continue the adventures of Cliff Secord but someone else would have to pick up that task now. Thanks for the memories, Dave.

Dave Stevens
July 29, 1955 - March 10, 2008

The Rocketeer - Nazi Propaganda Cartoon

Grocery Store Artifact: You're doing it wrong

A novel approach to solving the pesky problem of "ring around the collar" caused by perspiration. Found attached to the collar of a shirt dropped off for laundering at our in-store dry cleaning service.

There Will Be Byrne

Too late? Too soon? Hey, I just saw the film for the first time yesterday.

Scene from the awesome and Heinlein-esque Star-Lord Special Edition opus by Chris Claremont and John Byrne. Originally published in Marvel Preview #11 (Summer 1977).

Steel Sterling #4: A License To KILL!

When I saw the house ad for Steel Sterling #4 (January 1984) in a copy of Thunder Bunny I knew I had to get it just for the image shown of the car and passenger. It's by Robert Kanigher so it must be cool and crazy as heck. I was wrong and I am sorry I did. It isn't cool-crazy, it's just crazy. Okay, it's also kind of cool.

Because the morning headlines were too tame!

Published under the Archie Comics imprint of Red Circle Comics, Steel Sterling was a short-lived attempt by that company to enter the "serious" comic book market. The Mighty Crusaders, The Fly, Mr. Justice were all accomplished (or aided and abetted) mainly by veterans of the comic book industry and even some relative new-comers at the time like Trevor Von Eeden. Red Circle didn't last long. Of what I have read of those series it was probably because they aped the worst of late 70s Marvel one-off morality tales.

Written by the insane master Robert Kanigher the Sterling series was part Haney Brave and the Bold, part 70s Marvel Team-Up and part Utter Confusion. While every issue of Steel Sterling was inconsistent, Steel Sterling #4 is even more so as an overwrought PSA against drunken driving that is bizarre even by Kanigher standards. While drunken driving is no laughing matter Kanigher sure tries to make it so. A person can't seem to step outside their front door without an out of control vehicle taking them out. Pedestrians are violently smeared across the landscape like extras in the film Deathrace 2000.

The story opens with Steel Sterling regaling the "Steelers" (his kid side-kicks including an unfortunate stereotype or two) about the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse for no apparent reason at all. He's just that kind of cheery fella. When a comic book story opens like that you know you are deep into Kanigher-land. Steel then stops a car driven by an intoxicated teen from killing a group of bystanders, makes time with a young mother, vehemently defends feminism, uncovers a plot to kill a CIA agent with a booby-trapped skateboard, gets schooled by a Black Canary stand-in who is going to work with him in a movie and up-staged by a dog. All this in just a few pages.

"Where's her head?" "IN THIS BAG!"
This is why Bob Kanigher is awesome and should have written the lyrics to rock operas.

The big twist in the story comes when one of the Steelers parties too hard one day and while boozed-up and behind the wheel, kills the driver of another car. In the real world this would mean a prison sentence but justice works a bit differently in Kanigher-land. Instead of jail the drunk driver is sentenced to be in the custody of the parents of the young man whose death he caused and live his life "until he is forgiven." Now that's some creative jurisprudence right there. Basically, Kanigher was sentencing the boy to Hell by having him take the place of the young man killed in the drunken driving incident. A sentence like that is pretty much open-ended as forgiveness from the parents could be an eternity.

It isn't that the issue is awful and it probably saw an up tick in sales as copies were sent out to schools and churches and AA meetings. A lot of stuff happens and there is plenty of action for the kiddies but it seems like there are 4 or 5 particularly dull stories rolled up into one. But it's Robert Kanigher so you just strap in and go through the Dark Ride and come out the other side a bit more confused than when you went in.

If you must, you can read the whole thing here at this link: Steel Sterling #4.

Best line from the issue: "Give me the feminine angle! And MILK IT!"

As Chris Sims says: BECAUSE BOB KANIGHER. THAT'S WHY.

My Brother Was A Robot

The story My Brother Was A Robot from My Greatest Adventure #42 (April 1960) is uncredited but I suspect it may be from the mind or editorial office of Otto a.k.a. Eando Binder, a former participant in science fiction pulps of an earlier era who did some work for DC. While working at DC, Otto had a habit of recycling some of his ideas, particularly those of his popular pulp creation the robot Adam Link, into his later comic book works.

I'm presenting My Brother Was A Robot here not because it is particularly good, the plot is pretty dull actually and is an otherwise forgettable entry into the annals of comic history. What makes this story worth noting at all is that it features a robot beating the crap out of some crocodiles and a gorilla. Sometimes comics just don't get any better than that.

Click each picture to make ZAIUS-SIZED!

Don't worry your rugged little head about it

Now that's sexual harassment! But as everyone knows, it's okay if a hot, successful or wealthy woman does it because that's what guys really, secretly want at the workplace; a chance to get married and stop working.

Never trust a beautiful woman

Man (February 1950).

Grocery Store Artifact: Bear Vomit Flame

I'm not going to identify this product by name because I don't endorse it and don't give free advertising unless I am a fan, but I do get a kick out of this fire-breathing zombie bear logo every time I see it.

Carcino-licious!

Liberty (November 21, 1936).

Cool Golden Age Page of the Day: Fly-Man

Irreversibly shrunken to doll-size as an experiment in crime-fighting, disfigured by being burned in acid by a bad guy, Fly-Man dons a mask and stabs evil in the back!
Spitfire Comics (August 1941).

That Strange Girl

To assert that the story that appeared in Young Romance #197, That Strange Girl, was rife with subtext would be an understatement. On the surface it is another comic book romance tale of an ugly-pretty tomboy too busy to fall in love. The story is infamous, if not notorious, for featuring early in Bronze Age of Comics a lesbian or bi-sexual character who begins a relationship with a persistent and popular male classmate once she buckles under to peer pressure and conforms to the local societal standards of expected behavior.

Currently, comic books and other media rely upon more than just the typical shallow male and female demographics and try to appeal to other niches of the consumer market by specifically courting all of them and their disposable income through various plots, characters and gimmicks. But in 1974 the Comics Code Authority could not allow an openly gay character to appear in a comic book and creators wanting to tell a certain type of tale or use a ready-made semi-controversial plot device had to find a way to tell the story in a manner that would both allow readers to get the gist of it and still be published. No one other than the author could say if most of these stories were intentionally written to have a hidden meaning and they may be what they are on the surface...cautionary morality tales and lessons on acceptable behavior from the status quo. What That Strange Girl and many of these stories have in common is the final panel or panels that use an awkward inclusion of exposition to abruptly and against all plot direction reinforce the traditional male and female gender roles. This device of exposition at the finale of the story was also common in the crime and horror comics, where the final panel would reveal the criminals paid for their crimes and that a character wasn't really Satan but was a man in a mask teaching someone a lesson. In the romance comic books the final panel of exposition usually depicts some woman declaring her eternal love and devotion to a man in spite of everything else the story may have been hinting at .

Depictions of sexuality in comic books that did not meet the criteria of the CCA (whether intended or not, there are thousands of questionable examples in comics) meant the creators had to be for the most part very subtle in their presentations. As any reader of the Golden, Silver and Bronze Age of Comics knows this was accomplished with varying degrees of success and subtlety. If there existed any hints or behavior associated with a character that violated the CCA standards then that usually meant the character had to be a villain or depicted as mentally disturbed and their sexuality was portrayed as deviant and extreme, i.e. the "Terrible Trio" hippies featured in Wonder Woman #185.

The subtext in That Strange Girl is not at all subtle ("Agnes isn't shy once you get to know her") and is only one of several stories of the type that appeared in romance titles of DC, Marvel and other companies of the era that dealt with similar issues. Most of the entries however did not present so ridiculous or heartbreaking of a climax to the story.

You can read That Strange Girl by clicking the cover to Young Romance #197 (Jan-Feb 1974) below.

Enjoy!

Tomboy Tamer

It's a John Byrne Valentine's Day!

Ew.

Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew.

Cripes. What was Johnny thinking? The response should have been, "Yes, Lana...It would. You are a little girl and I am a grown man. It would be inappropriate and wrong on very many levels. Now, please excuse me. I'm going to go fly through the sun to clean off."

From Degenerations Generations #11, v III (January 2004).

Queen-Size Man-Thing

Two contrasting covers from Marvel in the 70s. Women get a joke about their weight while the guys get to brag about the size of their equipment.

From Queen-Size Millie the Model #11 (September 1974) and Giant-Size Man-Thing #4 (April 1974).

Rugged Donna

When will "Rugged Donna" learn that men prefer their gals meek and non-threatening? Will she ever come to realize that it is dinner that guys wants fixed and not their Hot Rods?

Click the picture to find out!

From Hi-School Romance (June 1950).

Spider-Man vs. The Fan Base

Nertz. Spider-Man post-One More Day doesn't suck.

Wise-cracking, loner, part-time loser Peter Parker IS better.

Looks like Joe Quesada was r-r-r-r-r...

He was r-r-r-r-r...

Joe Quesada was r-r-r-r-r-r...

He was right, okay?

Waaaugh!

Mark Evanier reports that Steve Gerber has died after a long illness. Read more here.

Then go read the original Gerber runs on Howard the Duck, Defenders, Guardians of the Galaxy, Man-Thing and DC Comics Presents #97 for a journey through comics greatness.

Thanks, Chelsea!

"I'm here of my own free will to endorse Sleestak for President. I trust Sleestak more than I do my own Mother. After all, Sleestak would never repeatedly sell me to the highest bidder or strand me on a street corner. Sleestak is for America, by America for all true, honest, decent, hard-working Americans that love America. That is why I fully support Sleestak for President. You should too, because if my Mom is elected again, she'll cut you unless you get her [Expletive Deleted] money right now, [Expletive Deleted]! "

Why you blankety-blank!

The Goofing

Older men declare war. But it's the youth who must fight and die!

"Quick! To the Officer's Club!"

From War Heroes #2 (1942).

How To Pick Up Dames

From Crime Mysteries #14 (1954).

You're doing "it" wrong

True Secrets #3 (March 1953).

It takes a real girl to cry!

Can a tomboy find true love?

Will anyone ever want a girl for a wife who can knock out a grown man with one punch?

Click the picture to find out!

From Girls' Romances #148 (April 1970).

Sleestak reviews: Bill Mauldin: A Life Up Front

Oh, hey there! Just kicking back today reading the biography of illustrator, reporter, screenwriter and actor Bill Mauldin my pal Bully sent me.

Bill Mauldin is probably best known for his World War 2 editorial cartoons in which he commented on the conflict via a couple of weary, bemused average soldiers named Willie and Joe. One of his creations would become to be known as "G.I. Joe" and inspired a name and image that carried over into the public consciousness and even into products that exists in vastly different form to this day.

As a cartoonist, soldier and later as a civilian Bill Mauldin routinely attacked the Brass, fellow soldiers, the political system and was known to hold held grudges that lasted for years. Gen. Patton disliked him for what he perceived was a negative effect on morale via his cartoons. War Hero Audie Murphy disliked him. He was both respected and disliked immensely, threatened with jail and probably worse for his views and commentaries. He was a trickster and a troublemaker. He made friends and enemies with equal fervor. One story he wrote was considered controversial enough that publication was delayed until he after he was returned to civilian life.

As a fan of illustration who enjoys glimpses into the minds and lives of creators, Bill Mauldin: A Life Up Front by Todd DePastino is a good read. Drop a line to Bully and he can tell you where to get your own copy.

It's your move

This scene appears nowhere in the book and I have no idea what is going on here.

If I would hazard a guess the fetishy, dadaesque scene and incestuous overtones of the cover art is representative of some power fantasy dream on the part of the Sub-Mariner or the unseen villain.

Or maybe the artist.

- Sub-Mariner #29 (December 1948).

The Wicker Mouse

The original version, not the crappy one with Nepotism Boy.