More like FUNGLASSES, am I right?

In what will surely be a boon to fashion houses and the international economy, Saudi women with attractive or tempting eyes may soon be forced to wear concealing sunglasses. I have no doubt that right this moment there are executives from eye wear manufacturing companies everywhere dancing on their chairs, high fiving each other and scrambling to get prototypes approved for export.

If the resolution passes and concealing eye wear is a mandatory attire for Islamic women how long until some wingnut pundit declares that wearing sunglasses is un-American?

Well, at least if America sells spectacles to the middle east the most we have to worry about is getting re-gifted a scratched pair of Oakleys. That's an improvement over the the guns and bombs we export that later get used against us.

Occupy the Temple

Apologetics try to forget the fable from the Infancy Gospel of Thomas 4:1 of a boy murdered by the Son of God for being innocently disrespectful of a King. A very valuable tool of control was creating out of whole cloth a culturally relevant history to teach people they better not dare to oppose their Earthly masters and remain slaves under the yoke of oppression. It is an old and continuing trick. Rebels will suffer God's Will and be destroyed by magic or through His proxies, people with knives, stones and clubs if they do not fall in line. Life was hard and cheap 2000 years ago. Everyone in a village working hard for most of a 24-hour period meant a person might get a full meal if they were lucky. Fear of punishment or death from righteous torture via the Church or for the more gullible, divine wrath, was a way that the parasites of any community, the religious leaders, got away with not contributing anything to society.

Making a point

"And your total today is $6.66."

"Oh. Don't you think I should buy something else?"

"Uh...If you want."

"You know...666."

"What?"

"I don't like that number."

"Okay. Do you want me to void something off? Add something else?"

"Yes. That's..That's the bad number."

"I guess. If you are gullible and dim-witted."

"WHAT?"

"The total of your order is not six six six. It is six POINT six six. Even if the number you fear wasn't mistranslated from fictional text and actually held some sort of magical power it isn't exactly the same. The decimal makes all the difference. So...Still want to change the total?"

"..."

"I'm sorry?"

"No."

"Okay! And would you like to make a donation to fight prostate cancer today?"

"No, thank you."

"Would you like some carry out service?"

"No."

"Okay! Have a nice day. Thanks for shopping at HayleyMart."

It is bizarre that customers lose their crap, scream, throw things, phone-bombard the corporate office and twitter-rage when a cashier opens up an additional register and they were not first in line but not when they are put in a position to shift a personal paradigm. Maybe it is the thinking that makes all the difference.

Send Error Report

Say what you will about the MS OS, but it worked well enough to detect bugs in other operating systems not connected to mine and shut down for safety reasons.

Ironic that only science could repair her problem.

GD HTT HRM TSK PTHHFT ACK

Recently a comic book shop proprietor made a bit of a kerfuffle in the claim that DC Comics was blasphemous in depicting Superman, who was hit in the back with a bursting tank shell, taking a deity's name in vain. Hilariously, the guy declared he was boycotting the DC Comics title.

In reading the new Action Comics #1, I myself didn't take the "GD" uttered by Superman as blasphemous. Firstly, something is blasphemous only if you are negatively invoking something that exists. Since magic doesn't exist, Grant Morrison and DC Comics were not doing anything in vain except for rebooting the DCU. Dramatically, it was most obviously a grunt. Admittedly, Superman often swore in comic books in a trend going back decades. In nearly every appearance he can be read taking the name of his personal lord and savior in vain whenever he expressed a "Merciful Rao" when surprised or injured. I notice that no one ever seemed to have a problem with it. Not too many Sun God followers out there read comic books, I guess.

Most ridiculous is a person who sells and presumably reads comic books getting all huffy about a supposed negative biblical reference. Comic books are nothing if not the kind of fantasy material typically frowned upon by the devout. Comics are full of examples of naughty ideas god-botherers hate such as magic, science, civil rights, witches, demons, talking animals, people that fly and false idols. It's like a pornographer being offended by genitalia.

Indeed, the big cross-over event from Marvel of the last several months is a story of the Creator returning to Earth during the end times. Spoiler: It isn't Jesus and his dad who shows up. Did this comic book guy previously voice any problem with the heresy of an entire line of books featuring an Asgardian pantheon? Probably not but all things being equal, he should have. Focusing on Action Comics #1 while ignoring all the other examples of "blasphemy" seems hypocritical and smells of a publicity stunt. But ranting online about Marvel being heretical likely would have resulted in a forum ban and not being taken seriously enough to have the local news drive up to the store with a camera.

But personal affronts aside Free Speech is allowed in this country. Along with saying what you ant in various formats one is also free not to pay any attention to it. Even if DC intended to blaspheme, then so what? It is fiction. It is also a word (among others) almost anyone would say if hit hard in the back. It isn't like they included a racial slur or anything. For instance what would a real person say if slammed hard enough from behind to break the skin? I'm willing to show anyone who cares to find out. FYI, clicking on this NSFW Superman link is not compulsory. If easily offended, don't click. If stupid, have someone else stop you from clicking. You are free to ignore it: Reaction #1 (Sept 2011).

But where the Action Comics #1 panel was a non-event there is something far more upsetting in many other DC Comic titles lately. If there is anything in comic books to circle the wagons for then it is the threat to modern civilization contained within this panel depicting Batman:

HRM is clearly a DC Comics typesetting contraction for Human Resources Management. Take it from one who has been there, HRM is one of the leading causes of corporate economic failure in our times. If businesses fail then so does America and then the world. HRM embodies a decay beyond the spiritual and including the term in comic books must be some kind of evil agenda to poison the minds of children and 50 year old men.

HRM positions are typically staffed by those who have nowhere to go, are on their way down and are too stupid to sign up for Welfare. HR Managers often hire the wrong people and the best employees are usually terminated from a company without cause. Outrageous policies are implemented like Health Care plans being offered to part time employees. Casual Fridays are stilled called Casual Fridays but business attire is mandatory, no jeans allowed. I don't know why HRM is being promoted by the boys upstairs at DC Comics but it shows up in just about every title featuring Batman. "Business Blasphemy" is rampant at that company, much like how anti-christian themes are prevalent at Marvel. It seems counter-productive. Probably involved is a similar inverted thinking where religious fundamentalists exclusively recruit the crazy to publicize their cause. Kind of a two steps forwards, two steps back kind of approach to proselytizing.

Who knows what ultimate goal DC has in mind for their staffing requirements? But their anti-employee agenda goes against all intuitive processes in effectively training newly hired personnel. All I know is until DC reverses their position on Human Resources Management and apologizes I'm boycotting all the New 52 titles featuring members of the Bat Family.

A lean and athirst housing market

Imagine living in a world where magic exists. What if the supernatural was real?

Our world would be a shambles. It is doubtful civilization would exist. Assuming a civilization could be built against all the interference of hostile entities hours of daily life would be extraordinarily consumed with the trappings of protection against evil forces. All the praying and hexing would barely leave time to eat a meal, much less forage for and prepare it.

Proof of life after death, angels and demons would be as obvious and physically evident as the sun. If those entities existed, eternal war would be the result with humans as pawns or casualties. Millions of people would be taken, killed or possessed by entities hostile to all that was good, shambling through the streets like extras in a George Romero film. Only the insane would act in a manner they know for a certainty would cause torment in limbo or fire as the proof of it would be in front of their eyes everyday and night without misinterpretation. But would the mentally ill or any disease even exist? In a world of magic they would be healed through faith and the laying on of hands or potions the moment symptoms manifested.

Physics as we know it now would be radically different than it is. No mysteries would remain as sensitives prove that they can cast their minds through time and space seeking answers and bringing back irrefutable evidence of the way the universe works. Their talents would not be negated, hindered or defeated by cameras, the nearby presence of unbelievers and double-blind tests. If any of the Woo was real it would not be hidden, it would obvious, verifiable and most of all reproducible. Like science is.

SCIENCE vs. SUPERSTITION

SCIENCE WINS

God Oil Good For You says God Oil Council

The media is reporting only a few people have done unfortunate things fearing the end of the world but even three would be too many. There may be scores of people who inflicted damage to themselves and others that we know nothing about. It is unfortunate that the mentally ill in particular suffer, and what other way would you describe them, when fear is fostered by every grifter with an internet connection.

PZ Meyers passes on the news that one woman attempted to kill herself and her children, a man committed suicide and another person gave away all their money anticipating the Rapture. NONE of which makes sense even in their strange world view. In accordance to their own wacky rules the mother and the man in Nairobi could have just repented and been saved and the children were innocents so no problem, they would have been removed from the world by a higher power. Their actions display not only illness but a profound lack of faith in their own system.

And why give away money to strangers when you would just leave it all behind for sinful looters anyways? It isn't like the cash you left behind would be used for good purpose in any case. Even if you left it with someone you trust to do good deeds with it, they are going to be left behind and since being irredeemably sinful, they would divert the funds to their own purposes once you were gone.



As of 10 am pacific time the Harold Camping website has not been updated to reflect the world not ending. I am curious as to what form the next installment of the message will take. Undoubtedly the news from all the various God oil salesmen will be full of squirming, convoluted weasel words to explain why God's plan is unknowable and the Rapture did not occur because Jesus is still holding out for a percentage of those WWJD bracelets and send more money or you will face damnation. Who knows? Since Harold is hiding from the faithful and mocking alike it might be a while before we get an update.

You know what? Right now I'm asking Harold to do some good in the world. Shutter your 120 million dollar radio empire, liquidate everything and donate the funds to some charities that actually accomplish something positive and not do something stupid and wasteful like build more prayer buildings or programs that teach abstinence. There are a lot of organizations out there that will actually make people's lives better and make the planet a nicer place to live. All those bucks could really do a lot of great things if sent to the right places. Let good things and not bad jokes be your legacy, Harold.

THE RATURE!

You know, this just means that the only rodents left behind are irredeemably evil!

IZ BEGGIN U

ONE DAY LEFT UNTIL...

THE RATURE!

Are You Rature Ready?

RATPENT, SINNERS!

The Rature is Coming

21 May 2011
Are you ready?

Vinylite plastic protects sleeping baby

I don't know what was worse; the parents that would have bought this product or the company that sold it.

From People Today (9-26-51).

Gone too soon and never was

Almost bought this until when leafing through it at the check stand I noticed that fictional people were included.

Carbon? Try reducing your stupidity footprint

Ultimately disposable paper coin banks that could be folded into the shape of the new energy-saving buses that were rolled out into service in San Diego were handed out by the hundreds, if not thousands to kids and parents a few weeks ago in a parking lot of the mall where I shop.

I wonder how many of these exist anywhere but a landfill by now? Once the novelty wore off , the nickel was removed or lost out of one of the folds and the buses were damaged by play I imagine they went right into the trash. Generating thousands of pounds of waste paper to tout an environmentally friendly bus doesn't make any sense at all. Kind of similar to the paper tags hung on bottles of soap claiming the product conserves water. Guys, you can't trade one for the other as IT IS ALL CONNECTED.

And the room exploded with applause

"...And herewith introduce to this body for consideration to render into law Bill H5150, in which any person found to be using homeopathic remedies will be considered a danger to themselves and others and be remanded for psychiatric counseling and physical health maintenance by an accredited medical practitioner until such time as they are no longer deemed a threat to their own person, or in the case of communicable illness or mental impairment of judgment or behavior, to the public."

Not real but I can dream. Of course, if anything as awesome as dropping the hammer on the billions of dollars a year fake medicine industry ever really occurred Faux News would start shrieking that the Obama administration was trying to outlaw the drinking of water.

I've got an idea

You know how to fix the problem with those two Utah State employees who released 1,300 names of suspected illegal immigrants to the police and media?

Retroactively to when the data was accessed immediately make every single person who is named on that list who is in the United States illegally a Naturalized Citizen. No questions asked, no waiting period.

That would be an epic backfire.

We're gonna show them who's on top!

Tagging a toilet plunger with your 'gang' graffiti? I mean, what turf is being claimed here?

That's just nasty.

My Left Foot

On the side of the store that caters to males a shoe is advertised that protects the wearer from wear and tear of exercise while simultaneously allowing the user to benefit from the activity. The shoe differentiates all the harmful activity from the beneficial through some sort of I don't know, shoe magic, I guess.

Meanwhile, the other side of the same store caters specifically to women. On the flip side a shoe is for sale which reportedly does nothing other than mercilessly work the muscles of the lower extremities in order to tone the legs and backside.

The ad for the men's shoe emphasizes protection and the one for women focuses on the wearer being made more attractive at the expense of safety. Are women expected to suffer more for the desired results? This leads me to question the conventional wisdom that women are the more careful and wiser shoppers. Advertising is remarkably complex and nuanced on levels many consumers never consciously detect. Do women shop for their shoes mostly alone and accompany the men? Then the difference in the execution of the advertising makes more sense. Making safety a priority for the men's shoes would indicate the woman in the relationship would have some say in the purchasing decision as she would not want her man out of work recovering from a playground injury.

Then again, it could be that this ad reveals a situation where the right foot doesn't know what the left foot is doing.

It's a trade off

I guess all that water that is saved using less soap washing clothes can be used to process the pulp to make all these paper tags hanging on bottles of laundry detergent.

BONUS: Don't forget the water saved in not nourishing all the trees that are cut down to supply the raw materials! It's a win/win!

- Found hanging on hundreds of bottles of laundry detergent in a local San Diego grocery store, May 2010.

Happy Easter

See what you get when you trust somebody who purports to speak for the Universe? Decades and decades of lies and corruption through every level of the church hierarchy because those in charge are just thieving, grifting users of gullible or desperate people.

I can't help but think that the ROBOT POPE would rather delete its hard drive than overwrite the truth about child-molesting members of the church.

Yeah, "Happy Easter".

Reason for the season? Gimme bunnies, ducks and chocolate.