Saturday, March 31, 2007

Sleestak's Movie Review: Geez, Danny

Went to a movie yesterday up at the local shopping center and decided to see The Bourne Assassinator The Shooter starring that one guy and Danny Glover. I enjoyed the movie enough even though the dialog was liberally sprinkled with gratuitous wingnuttery from both sides of the political spectrum. My only question was about actor Danny Glover. The last time I saw him in a film from a few years ago he looked his usually hale and hearty self. In The Shooter Danny had a speech impediment and looked awful. Was all that aspects of his character or is somethign else going on?

The previews for upcoming films were interesting. First off, they showed Next, a film based on a story by author Philip K. Dick about a guy who can see his immediate future and as long as he doesn't run out of options, change things for the better. Movies based on his work haven't fared well in the translation from text to cinema but even though it features Nicky Cage it seems like it might be okay.

Secondly was the trailer for The Reaping featuring Hillary Swank. I generally like Hillary but this is one of those films that you can't wait for it to come out just so the trailers will finally stop being shown. Is it only me or was anybody else thinking how awesome the film would be if instead of a Christian apocalypse all those swarming locusts were actually the Zanti Misfits exiled to prison on earth without our permission? That would be sweet.

Then the trailer for the next installment of the Bruce Willis franchise, Live Free or Die Hard, was shown. I was wondering how come with all his ass-kicking of evil that John McClain wasn't the head of some secret spy organization by now or at least the President of the United States. I'll see it anyways. Damn you, Hollywood!

On a side note, I did notice that trailers for Die Hard and Next had some action sequences in common where the hero narrowly escapes horrible death by the coincidences of nearby moving objects landing or suddenly positioning in such a way as to prevent a hurtling airborne car from crushing them. It's like there is a place in Hollywood where all the suits meet and compare and trade the next cool of cinema cliches' to make the rounds.

The evolution of cool f/x cinema gimmicks goes something like this: Once the sequence becomes old hat after being featured in a few movies it will then naturally progress to making appearances in an original Sci-Fi channel movie or two as f/x guys get access to the software program used to create the scene. The sequence will then bounce around in advertising spots for household cleaners or microwavable meals for a while before it disappears in favor of the newest cool effect.

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  1. Yeah, it's unfortunate that Hollywood FX are basically computer-generated cartoons now. Remember that biker movie a couple years ago where dudes on bikes jumped on freight trains. Yay. That really draws me to see it because it totally kills my suspension of belief. There's some sarcasm for something in there somewhere. Whatever.

  2. I went to see 300 the other day & caught that same Reaping trailer. You get what the movie is about in the first 30 second, but noooo, they have to go through every one of the goddam biblical plagues. It felt like an eternity.
    The insane amount of blood in 300 was cathartic, though the story was a bit slight.


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