Judging books by their covers: Giant Winged Monkey

According to comic book legend, back in the Silver Age when it took months to determine what were the accurate sales for comics and the battle for rack space was extremley cut-throat, one publisher tracked in great detail what type of cover resulted in the most sales. Oddly, it turned out that covers that featured monkeys, no matter how ridiculous the teaser, sold more than the ones that did not feature them. Hence, the large number of primate-themed comic covers through the 50's and 60's and the interest in the sub-genre of what has been come to be called "Monkey Covers" in comic circles.

I can certainly understand it. After all, when it comes to monkey comic covers this is my absolute favorite...


-image from from the GCD

I rarely buy a book because of the cover but Strange Adventures #125 is an example of where I break my rule. This issue is different from the style of alien invaders that just happen to look like traditional snowmen, which I would purchase just for the straight-faced absurdity of it. This issue is just has a freaking great picture. Giant, alien, winged gorilla attacks planes and plucks them out of mid-flight. Hard to beat the sheer awesomenessity of that.

A comic or book doesn't necessarily have to have the whole package for me to enjoy it.

There are many examples of comics and books where the cover eclipses completely the interior art and story. The cover is what a potential customer sees first and many a sale is made or broken when a buyer is motivated to pick up a particular title because of the art. Most fans have become wise to the bait and switch of a hot artist doing the chores on the on the cover only to disscover the artist who drew the story is not the same as the fan fav who drew the outside. The late 1970's was notorious for it, particularly at Marvel. There was many a Frank Miller cover that featured awful story and art on the inside. For many this was acceptable as any Frank Miller product was welcome and desireable. I, for one, did not appreciate the fake out. Don't advertise that Miller is doing the book when the story is drawn by Ditko and Colletta having a bad day.

DC's unoffical 'house artist' Neal Adams did literally hundreds of covers that eclipsed the often silly (even by the standards of the 60's and 70's) interior. Browsing the score of covers done by Adams I'd almost say that DC invented single-handedly the concept of the Cover Disconnect, where the cover barely represents what happens in the book. The idea of the disconnect, by the way, is different from the Showcase Cover, where the characters are in a generic pose or situation that could be slapped on any month of that title and mean nothing. See almost any cover of Ultimate Spider-Man for examples.

Today, comic companies are in most cases, as a matter of survival, making sure that a possible customer knows exactly what creative team is working on the book from first to last page. For example, artist Alex Ross is one of the few artists that can sell a book based on the cover art alone and is often used as a selling point in advertising.

There are other comics and even books that I purchased just for the cover art, which I considered a story in itself. It didn't matter if the interior work was weak because I thouroughly enjoyed the exterior and accepted the cover as a story in itself. A comic worthy of collecting just for the cover is of course the iconic Wonder Woman #72 by Brian Bolland. Anyone remember the story? Not me. I didn't know anyone who bought it that month for the tribulations of Wondy. We couldn't care less. But boy, did we have to get it for the Bolland! Mike Kaluta did a series of particularly creepy covers for House of Mystery that were worth the purchase price alone and are suitable for framing. There wasn't a single issue of HoM I purchased back then for the stories.

In the 70's Ballantine books published a series of HP Lovecraft anthologies that I would have bought even if I was not a fan of the genre. The cover art was done by artist John Holmes, who also did a rock album LP with art that was similar to the Ballantine efforts.

These books, long out of print, are hard to come by and sought after by collectors.

Pulps are another source for great cover art that is superior to the main product. While I really want to read the interior stories as a collector I am reluctant to remove them and risk cracking the brittle 30's and 40's era cheap paper and seperating the pages from the spine. Dreams' End is a favorite pulp cover of many, including myself and I purchased it the moment I found a good copy. Again, this was collected for the cover art alone. The bonus was that I also enjoyed the story.

This issue of Thrilling Wonder from 1946 is the first pulp I ever owned, and was obtained only because the classic "good girl in peril" cover caught my eye. That Manley Wade Wellman, author of the amazing 'Silver John' stories was also featured in the issue was incidental.

Returning to the subject of ginormous primates, check out Big Monkey Comics, a chain of comics (and more) retail stores run by the brains behind Seven Hells! and The Absorbascon. From what I can tell these places aren't some mildewed holes smelling of poo-gas decked out with cast-off bookcases from their Mom's basement, so check it out.

From the site and this seems neat...

It has some fun features, such as

• RSS feeds from comic book newsites
• a blog (The Big Blog) to which Devon and I and others contribute
• comic book reviews by Devon and some of our expert friends
• store info and sales (gotta make a living!)
• the Astounding Stupid Quote Balloon!
  
• a very easy way to listen to Big Monkey Comics Radio (formerly SuperHero Radio)
• links (of course) to our Ebay store and on-line Monkey Merchandise store
• Devon's Pick of the Week and Recommend Readings
• Two fan forums (FanFatale for women readers and Comic Book Issues for general topics)

Tell 'em Sleestak sent ya!

Tags: Pulps Monkey Advertisement

Grocery Store Artifact: Mr & Mrs Smith DVD display instructions

Here are the instructions to assemble the disposable cardboard display stand for the Mr. & Mrs. Smith DVD our store is selling. A few weeks ago the word came down from corporate that the usual rolling racks that we have always used to sell product were going away for good. If a vendor wants to sell cookies or DVD's then they must supply a display stand for it.

The old racks were esthetically displeasing, but the cardboard stands sag after a day or two. The DVD's hold up well enough but a stand of aresol air fresheners can't handle the weight.

On the subjects of racks, wanna bet it's only because of the anticipated box office draw of the one carried by Angelina Jolie that Mr. & Mrs. Smith got made? Wow, was that a dull film. It definately won the Meh of the Week award. I can imagine the pitch meeting for it:

"Okay, it's like Fun With Dick and Jane meets the War of the Roses."
"No."
"Uh...Angelina Jolie wears a latex hooker outfit and tight sweaters. And Brad Pitt looks scruffy and unwashed, too."
"SOLD!"

If only the plot was not as rickety as a cardboard stand it would have been a better movie.

Comic Book Ad: Rebus

Kansas wingnuts want to ban dull books

Here is a list of books that another rogue cell of the Amurrican Wingnuttiban* based in Blue Valley, Kansas want to have taken out of schools, libraries and this plane of reality.

1. All the Pretty Horses
2. Animal Dreams
3. The Awakening
4. The Bean Trees
5. Beloved
6. Black Boy
7. Fallen Angels
8. The Hot Zone
9. I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings
10. Lords of Discipline
11. One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest
12. Song of Solomon
13. Stotan
14. This Boy’s Life

Choosing a book link on their page takes you to a disclaimer the likes of which are only seen on porn sites and the warning labels of industrial strength varnish-remover...

Warning

Some of the material in these assigned school books is extremely controversial and many people consider it objectionable or inappropriate for children. The content you are about to view contains adult material that may not be appropriate for all users. Before viewing this page you must read and agree to the following:

1. You are an adult (18 years or older) and have read and understand this warning.
2. You understand that the material may involve language, content and themes of an adult, objectionable or controversial nature.
3. IN NO EVENT WILL ClassKC.org BE LIABLE TO YOU FOR ANY DAMAGES OF ANY KIND resulting from viewing or any other use of this material.

If you agree, click here to continue.

Hilarious. Paging Dr Werthem!

Then you get to the excerpt page...

Fallen Angels
Myers, Walter Dean

Used in the Blue Valley Communication Arts classes

This extremely graphic novel is a story about a group of young Army recruits in Vietnam. It centers around a black man from Harlem, Richie Perry, and how his opinion of the war is quickly changed. He initially believes that he won’t be there long and won’t have to actually fight because of a medical issue. After witnessing intense and repeated brutality and destruction he doubts the “morality” of the war and decides it’s not possible to define the line between good and evil.

If this book was selected by Blue Valley school staff to teach children about the Vietnam War, it was a poor choice. Yes, “war IS hell.” But why not select one of the dozens of well-written books about the Vietnam War written by someone who was actually there? Walter Dean Myers did not serve in Vietnam. It’s difficult to believe that there is not a more suitable book available that 1) shows the perspective of an actual soldier or medical person (whether a minority or not) and 2) does not use pervasive vulgarity. One of the purposes of Communication Arts is to teach kids correct grammar and vocabulary. Does this book expand their minds and vocabularies in an educationally sound way?

Furthermore, together with The Things They Carried these two books promote one narrow opinion about the Viet Nam War, and they promote this opinion in the same vulgar manner.

It’s alarming to consider the effect this book could have on a child with unidentified psychological issues.

Yes? Ban the book because someone who is already unhinged might get a wacky idea from it? Ah, the 50's! Ban flouride while you are it. Sorry, folks. But if someone is going to have sex or get the Big Headache and flip out it is impossible to keep them from being exposed to anything that might influence them. Even if you "round all the sharp corners" of the world someone will eventually be on top of a clock tower holding a rifle and screaming about how the sunshine and puppies drove him to it. It is all relative.

Truthfully, there are few books on the list I would ever consider reading just because they are so darn boring. I can't read anything by Maya Angelo without wanting to throw myself under a bus. Yet that doesn't mean I have to agree with their 18th century ideals.

Interestingly, on their page of books that they are aghast that are not approved to read are titles that others have in the past tried to ban for the themes of drug abuse, child labor, homosexuality and immorality. Under Great Titles for High School are listed, among others, Moby Dick and The Diary of Anne Frank. If I recall correctly, the protagonist and Queequeg of Mellville's clasic whale hunting book were quite affectionate.

Another gem from their site:

Wouldn't it make more sense to select high-quality, non-sexualized literature for teenagers in the first place?

Like what...The Bible? I'd suggest they give that little tome an in-depth read for immoral content, also. Yes, I know that is a cliched rebuttal but I can't help it. I also point out The Passion of the Christ when someone whines about violence in films.

I'd hazard a guess that very few of the Blue Valley Gang have actually read any of the books that they are FOR or AGIN' and are instead relying on others to write the marching orders for them.

* Anyone ever notice that a wingnut looks like a halo flanked by an angel's wings? Me neither.

Health PSA: Hearing Voices - A Self Help Guide

Here's a PSA from the UK published in 2002, advising people what to do to seek care if they begin hearing voices. Nice try, but some of the advice seems odd. Like taking enjoyment in the voices.



Then again, I am not a medical professional or know what I am writing about, like the guy at Polite Dissent. It seems interesting that the 'positives' for hearing voices and having disturbing beliefs outweigh the 'negative' aspects. This pamphlet reads like an argument for believing in a religion.


So...if God speaks to you aren't disturbed. But if pigeons strike up a conversation, you need help?

I am curious about two things:

1. How does one get help if the voices say you are fine, fine, fine?
2. Do screams count as voices?
   

I'm not poking fun at the ill, just the brochure. Oh, and the gullible. Oh, and anyone who read The Origin of Consciousness in the Breakdown of the Bicameral Mind because it was referenced in that issue of Micronauts that Marvel did back in the day.

I put the entire pamphlet up on flickr for those that are curious.

Req: Book and short story help

There are a few books and short stories I am looking for but can't recall the author or title. Typing different phrases into search engines met with negative results, so I turn to the reader of my blog to help out.

Novel: This is a Sci-Fi novel I think I first read in 80's. It is about a man who is suddenly transported to a home in England from America or vice versa. The cause of his teleportation is an alien or creature in the basement or cellar of a house who controlls him telepathically.

12-3-05 Update: A helpful person reminded me the book I was looking for was Bob Shaw's 1979 novel, Dagger of the Mind.

Short Story: An amoeba like creature absorbs animals and people, infesting a farm house. The creature can take on the form of the creatures it absorbs. It is temporarily controlled when the protagonist lets it absorb him, and his will is able to control the monster. Reprinted many times in horror anthologies.

Short Story: Spaceship captain meets a demonic alien being on a bridge at night, Captain kills it with his raygun. Alien sizzles away like black oil. Reprinted in anthologies.

Any help would be appreciated.

Needs to be on a t-shirt

Great image from the final page of Man-Gods From Beyond the Stars, an ancient-astronaut tale first published in Marvel Preview #1 b/w magazine. Written by Doug Moench & Roy Thomas, the first issue of MP (with painted Neal Adams cover) jumped on the then-huge UFO craze. The often inaccessible, highly abstract and heavily stylized art by Alex Nino is toned down a bit in this issue for this story. The word-balloons on this page were removed by me.

Other than it is a great image, I'd put this on a t-shirt just because it makes no sense out of context and is so very 70's.

While on the subject of t-shirts, I did this when at cafe press when I was bored. I notice it is now less expensive to order from them than it is to get one of those kits for your PC to make iron-on decals you can print out at home.

Grocery Store Artifact: Stuff in the dirt tray

Generic Coinstar images courtesy of the Inter Nets

The store where I work has one of those Coinstar machines where for a fee you can turn in your spare change and redeem all of it for cash or, if you are so inclined, give it to charity. When the machine jams I have to fix it and get it running again.

It jams about once a week and 99% of the time it is because of dirty money. Now, technically all money is filthy, but the coins people bring in even more so. Chewing gum, wax, plastic, corrosion and glue among other unidentifiable substances are often stuck to the coins and impair the machine's functions.

Today, some guy tried redeeming a 5 gallon plastic water bottle about half-full of coins* that had sat in his garage for a while. Some liquid like soda had spilled into the bottle and on the coins sometime in the past because they were sticky, corroded and kept jamming the machine. Eventually I managed to get the customer's coins swapped out for a voucher but I had to do a good spot-clean of the feed tray and hopper to remove all the tacky residue. Some of the coins remained stubbornly fused together or stuck to the sides and bottom of the water bottle and the customer abandoned them. I had advised the customer he could recover the remaining money by cleaning the interior of the bottle with some hot water, but he declined. The bottle went into the trash with about $6 in coins still glued to the interior. That's okay, it's his money.

In cleaning the machine I dumped the dirt tray into a small trash bag to check for and recover any coins. The store gets credit for lost money returned and it adds up over a year. The dirt tray catches some (but not all) of the debris that is dumped along with the coins that are poured into the hopper from boxes, bottles, overnight cases and bags.

Here are the things I found in the dirt tray and coin-sorter bin today:

• Safety pins
• Corroded coins (returned to customer)
  
• Nails
• Lint, dirt, bits of stuff
  
• Button
• Little wooden dot that goes on a cabinet door
• Shiny metal bullet-shaped slug that looks like a bullet and says '38' on the bottom
• Washers
• Springy barrette
• O-rings
• Paperclips
• Staples
• Hair of many colors
  
• Yes, there are two press-on fingernails in there
  

* Optimistic, y'know

Homefront Propaganda: Jenny on the Job

GTFO ASAP

The only lie I will support about the entire war debacle is 'Victory Declared In Iraq'.

Make it official for the history books, cut it into stone on an obelisk somewhere and give it a National holiday if it means we can GTFO of there ASAP.

Grocery Store Artifact: The long, dark shopping cart of the soul

Grocery cart number plate as found in the parking lot.

The plates are very useless because it isn't like we sign a cart out to a customer and they don't keep a favorite cart in the garage or anything. Customers just want one without a wheel that goes buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh and we at the store just don't want them across the street because it is a pain to fetch them.

These number plates drop off regularly like scabs from an unhealing wound. We usually let them remain where they fall, to be swept up eventually like the pale, dead leaves from a failing and diseased tree. Such lonely desolation of the soul it would be to exist as a shopping cart. I do not envy the carts.

Cart #20 will never be identified by name again as it now joins the swelling ranks of the hundreds of other anonymous wheeled baskets. Once a known thing, the cart has been stripped of it's quantifiable '20-ness'. While there is a danger in the unknown, having been freed from the shackles of it's slave-name, it is now a more pure and free form of cart.

Comic Must Haves: Strange Adventures #79

Alien snowmen with carrot noses firing death-rays from their eyes!

Someday, I shall own this...



I must have this because the cover is so full of Silver Age-esque awsomeness.

Image from the GCD.

Grains of Sugar In My Eye

...really hurt, yet make my tears taste so sweet.

What's that? Why, it's another blog theme!

Grains of Sugar In My Eye will be a semi-recurring theme like Tropos, Groin Injury Saturday (which is long overdue for a return), Grocery Store Artifacts (which sucks, but I get bored) and Comic Book PSA.

Grocery Store Artifact: Thursday is Soylent Brown day

So...an older woman, accompanied by her long, long, long suffering son came into the store to return a turkey she had purchased for the Thanksgiving holiday. She wanted to return it because she was convinced that the turkey contained a human fetus that someone had planted into it.

Yep. Not kidding.

This woman would not let the concept go that someone had tampered with her turkey. What she was convinced was a human fetus was in fact the turkey neck, that is included and stored with the giblets in the cavity of the animal. She remained in a panicked state until the meat department produced a fresh replacement turkey sans giblets and pieces-parts. She was assured that our products do not contain humans and consists of only government approved farm animals.

We do sell chicken embryos by the dozen though!

Lettuce Ladies & Broccoli Boys

While I am loathe to send anyone to PETA because of their tactics, I can't pass this up.

Lettuce Ladies

CARRIE
From: Monterey, Calif.
Turnons: intense personalities, good music, wine, lust for life, compassion for all living beings, an open mind, a nice shapely tummy, people that stop to help stray animals
Turnoffs: big egos, self-rightousness, movies with animal "stars," lying (with the exception of good storytelling), bullfighting, macho guys.

Let's look at that statement again: Lying (with the exception of good storytelling). Yeah, ok. Little reality disconnect I think. Is it a disclaimer or what?

Broccoli Boys

RICARDO
From: Washington D.C.
Turnons: soccer, surfing the Web, reading, merengue, vegetarian sushi, travelling, salsa music, MTV's The Grind, rap, being outdoors
Turnoffs: people who are rude, people who don't recycle, and guys who think they need meat to build muscles

Bet he likes protein, though.

After visiting the PETA site I found my eyes opened. I was truly shocked by the images of cruelty there and I can promise you...it will be a long time before I eat veggies again.

Don't call it Turkey Day

Don't call the Thanksgiving holiday Turkey Day. Don't be cute and call it Native American Genocide Day, or European Aggression Day or anything but what it is. It's Thanksgiving.

Then again, call it what you want...you can do that in the US.

Most blogistrars do an entry about what they are thankful for this time of year and I'll do one too. I'm thankful I live here. I don't mean it in a patriotic way. Patriotism is just another type of fanaticism as far as I'm concerned. But I can appreciate and defend the principles that make our systems of country and culture...what politicians call 'our way of life'. They say that without believing it though or understanding what it means.

Our asshat pandering leaders, feeble-minded superstitious folk and corporate pillagers aside *, America is a pretty darn good place to live. Heck, there are entries on just about any other blog you can find that in many places would get you jail time or worse.

I don't really care about Christmas, July 4th, Father's Day or all the other holidays but if you live here you might set aside a day just to celebrate what a great deal we have today. The major holidays are no longer strictly religious or traditional observations and that is how it should be. This is America. If I want Xmas to be about presents, then that is my right. Maybe I prefer the egg-laying bunny fairy tale over the one about some guy rising from the grave and wandering the earth collecting souls. If I ignore one holiday over another then I can. Should I decide that Thanksgiving is about internet porn, then your ancestors already have and you or your children will eventually fight to defend my right to see it. Or not. That is what makes this place great.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

* It's okay. People are getting fed up with the BS and will be taking action soon...probably within about 10 years or so. I don't mean revolution, I mean people will keep tossing the parasites and reality-challenged and out on their asses until they get so scared they won't dare try anything stupid. I foresee a lot of money getting spent in recall elections until someone gets into an office who remembers they work for us.

Suggestive Hayley Mills Photo #1

On the set of her film Whistle Down the Wind, Hayley Mills fiercely grips a great big piece of meat.

Yeah, that kid holding the cow intestines knows what I'm talking about.

Batman flutters through the wrong window

"Oops! Sorry, fella! I thought Dick was in this room! Or maybe he is...hint, hint."

Breath Capture Device

If you ever read The Terrible Old Man by H.P. Lovecraft or Last Call by Tim Powers you'd get an idea of how creepy I find this concept.

Breath Capture
Everyone is born with it. A desire to be near the ones we care about most. And we find ways to remember them when they're away. A lock of hair. Letters. An old photo. And now there's Breath Capture™. Capture the breath of a loved one or friend and keep them close. Forever.

Yeesh. I wonder if you can order duct tape and plastic sheeting as accessories.

Take the breath test!

Superman's Mom is a perv

Okay now this is just getting ridiculous. Not only can you tell that the new, funhouse mirror-abdomen Supergirl has meticulous grooming habits, but if you draw an imaginary line bisecting her around the upper beltline it is clear that Kara's super-anus is exposed to the light of day.


Actual beltline location as shown by line. As you can imagine, we have an anus-level event.

Knock it off, guys. Her eyes are blue, not brown, and she only has two.

In an earlier issue of the also-Loeb & Turner helmed Superman/Batman comic, it was Superman who revealed that his adopted mother Ma Kent designed the costume.

If Mom really designed this peek-a-boo lookit-my-crotch set of pj's then it appears that Mrs. Kent is some kind of weird exhibitionist perv living vicariously through the adopted Super-lolita.

DC can't possibly be this desperate for the Fan-boy/Fan-girl sales this art might bring in, can they? Up to now I used to think the writing was the worst part of this character.

Super Bathrooms

Downing's Grill & Bar in Kansas City has their restrooms amusingly decorated with bizarre street art-like paintings of super-heroes serving drinks and partying down.

Better Forgotten Moments in Comics History: Uncanny X-Men #139

I kid you not. This scene and this scene alone from Uncanny X-Men #139 almost made me quit buying the book way back when.

And this was during Claremont and Byrne's awsome initial run on the title. Even for an obsessed and unabashed Chris/John/Austin X-Fan like myself it was just so darn painful to read, so awkward I was embarrassed for Claremont, Byrne, every reader and Marvel as a whole. Xavier and the gang going along with Kitty's lame joke like it was a clever pun made the entire scene even worse. Then to top off this uncomfortable scene also had Storm putting the initial moves on her 'Kitten', a theme that would appear with regularity under Claremont's pen, and was pretty distasteful.

Two issues later the great Days of Future Past storyline began, and that did a lot to make up for the awfulness of these panels from #139.

As sharp-eyed blogist Bully observes in comment:

On the other hand, these panels also feature one of the greatest throwaway lines in the history of the X-Men. "Why the new costume?" "Why not?"

No secret origin of the startling new costume. No dramatic crossover story behind the new duds. No moonlight vow that this uniform would be the way he would present himself to the world from that moment on.

Just: New costume? Why not?

So, within a fistful of panels, you have one of the most painful examples of Claremont overcharacterization and one of the most subtle, quick exchanges that goes against everything we've come to expect from Marvel Comics. It's a wonder that, like matter and anti-matter, X-Men #139 didn't self-implode.

I confess I missed that this go around. That's a great observation about the trend of that time being that conflict and costume change equals characterization ie, Secret Wars (as was spoofed with deadly aim in Cerebus by Dave Sim).

Comic Book PSA: A Sound of Thunder

Two bolts of lightning? Somebody up there really hates this kid. Then again, he's crawling on all fours through a field during a lightning storm so he is probably up to no good. Probably checking that the graves of the neighborhood pets he abducted were deep enough to make it through a heavy rain without being exposed. Lucky for him that Messiah-Superboy was nearby to intercede against divine anger.

But like my entry above, lightning strikes are not funny. They kill several golfers a year and are a real hazard. Many caddies get blistered fingers from the hot coins and money clips while going through the pockets of freshly-zapped, unconscious rich white men who do not have the sense to come in from the rain.

Years ago in South Dakota while in the military, I performed various duties. One of which was standing corridor guard on convoys as the "big weapons" were towed from storage to be loaded onto n aircraft. During one convoy I was posted on a high berm when a rain storm swept through the area. Since it isn't smart to move some weapons during bad weather all the security has to stay in place to secure the area while the tow vehicle and trailer moves. My gear, among other things, consisted of an M-16 rifle. Unless you go deep-ocean swimming using a dead cow as a floatation device, I can't think of one dumber thing to do than stand on one of the highest points for miles in a basically flat region during a storm while carrying what amounted to a lightning rod packed with high-explosives slung over my shoulder. I can't say I was feeling concerned as I watched lightning bolts flash in the distance and gradually draw nearer. Mostly I felt resignation about the chance I might get hit. At least all the rounds in the rifle and in the ammo pouches in my belt would make an interesting noise when they went off if I was struck.

Lightning links!
Kid's Lightning Safety info
Lightning-Strike (not what you think)
Where Lightning Strikes
When Lightning Strikes People
Weather.com lightning strike map (Note: It's under the Golfing section)
A cool non-comic Thor page

Grocery Store Artifact: Last Box signage

Another 'Last Box' sign stuck on the side of a delivery of cigarettes. I don't know where this image is from but it looks familiar.

What The Eff Cover: Whiz Kids

"Keep at least one student off drugs"

Way to raise the bar, gang.

Fred Hembeck: Not my wingman

Today on his website artist and columnist Fred Hembeck resorted to threats of blackmail, extorting me to deny my appreciation and unworthy (yet pure) love of Hayley Mills.

Too late, Fred! Been there, done that!

More DC Teen Sluts

Uber-neat-o! Gratuitous entries containing the words 'Teen' and 'Slut' really gets traffic to my site! So that's how spam works, eh? Well, here are some more DC Teen Sluts for your enjoyment and my stat counts!


"Cyber's Revenge" indeed. If I had a dime for every girl in those chat rooms who was really a guy...well, let's just say I'd be poor. Or not. I just heard about things like that happening. Yeah.


Skank!


Why the tears? The light glaring off that huge diamond ring hurting your eyes? Pity the sad Gold Digger!


Sexually aggressive slut. Not so bright, either. Don't pester crazies who carry shotguns while you are out together in the deep woods.


What a slut! It's okay if guys have multiple girlfriends, though. Don't forget that.


What should she choose? Sugar Daddy or Good Time?
As seen in the low-budget, classic SF cult film Darkstar! Not kidding. Watch the opening sequences.


Given the subtext of the 60's, probably because she prefers the company of women. While many books approached the subject of "non-traditional" sexuality, even in some comic book PSA's, they had to leave it for the aware reader to discern what it was referring to by reading between the frames.


Let us not forget 'THEM!' You know, them...the predatory hippy chicks. You know what I mean...read Wonder Woman #185. Talk about skirting a subject with euphemisms.


Nympho!

Visit 32 Pages of Love. He's kind of busy having a life, but still gooooood!