Saturday, July 14, 2007

Heat Death

Before time existed there was NOTHING.

Then, billions of years ago existence exploded into being, energy rushing out from the primal atom, creating space and time.


After time unknown the ever-expanding energy cooled. Matter was created.

Matter, being self-organizing, began to draw together as random collisions between particles occurred. Deep gravity wells formed, drawing in more and more elements in increasingly growing mass.

Eventually, galaxies formed as nuclear furnaces ignited, illuminating the darkness with billions upon billions of stars.

Around some of those stars planetary systems formed.

Around one particular yellow sun a planetary disk bulged out from a young star.
From that spiraling torrent of gas and debris our solar system was created.

Many of the planetary bodies were inhospitable, but on the third planet from the sun conditions were such that a form of life began and a great civilization arose on the planet we called Earth.

The solar system was a hostile, dangerous place.
Fortunately, giant planets and a nearby moon divert or catch most interstellar bodies that could damage our fragile world. Magnetic fields buffer our fragile ecosystem against cosmic radiations.

200 million years ago two asteroids deep in space collided in a terrible impact.
Stony debris flew out into space in all directions.
Some pieces were captured in the gravity of a large planet.
Other pieces settled into new, strange orbits.

Several small fragments drifted through space out of their ancient path.
Over time, the pieces moved into positions that took them to various destinations.
One rock, imparted with more energy than the others, continued out into space above the planetary ecliptic, on a leisurely path to the interplanetary void.
Another piece was eventually captured by the gravity of Mars.
One fragment had an orbit that would eventually return it to the asteroid belt.
Two remaining pieces drew close to the planet Earth.

One of the stones impacted into the dark side of the Earth's moon, unobserved.

The remaining stony wanderer continued on towards the Earth.

Falling into our atmosphere, the meteor glowed, shedding more fragments and losing substantial mass as it melted and vaporized from the intense heat caused by friction against the protective blanket of air.

After a random journey of 200 million years, against incalculable odds, the remaining small fragment of meteor plummeted down from the sky and then slammed into my car, denting the rear fender and disabling the vehicle.

My wife then turned to me and said, "This is your fault. You are such a loser."

And that, my friends, is what is like to be married.


  1. No. Way.


    ...And you think she's wrong?!?

    (I keed, I keed!)

  2. A meteor hit your car? Is that covered by insurance?

  3. Q: Why is a rock from the sky like a small bull?
    A: They're both a little "meatier".

    That's right. I made a pun.

  4. John said, "A meteor hit your car? Is that covered by insurance?"

    I believe that at this moment it is covered with meteor, actually.

  5. I dunno, that looks an awful lot like an overdone baked potato to me. Albeit one with a density of about 300 pounds per cubic inch. (Like they serve at Wendy's.)

  6. As someone who lives in Idaho, I can assure you, sir, that *that* is no potatoe.

    (Yes. I did. Part of the joke. For we older guys.)

  7. This is actually one of the funniest things you've ever done.

  8. I've served potatoes. I know potatoes. Potatoes are a favorite dish of mine. And that, sir, is no potatoe.


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