Cocky Porcupine: A Study in Terror

Like olden fairy tales, comic books were often used as a way of teaching children to stay on the path of righteousness, fear strangers and obey authority. Comic book stories were also similar to folk tales in that that horrible retribution will result for any child that fails to learn the lesson of the story, like this cautionary tale of sportsmanship from from Circus of Fun #3 (December 1947). The moral? Learn to get along with others or face the prospect of horrible, maiming torture at the hands of an angry mob.

A paleface, you do not be

This has been done before somewhere, right? I was eating lunch at work and goofing on my laptop yesterday and thought this up. Seems an inevitable image. I had intended to put a tiny Darth Vader under the tree waving and change the slogan to something in Yoda-speak, but I lost interest. Huge SF fan and this is about all the enthusiasm I can muster for Star Wars. Plus, my sandwich needed attention.

Good retaining walls make for good neighbors

You probably can't drive down any highway or freeway and not see the scars and cosmetic damage caused by out of control cars striking and scraping the concrete retaining walls placed between the opposing lanes of traffic.

I wonder how many high-speed head-on collisions a day never occur because of the barriers. A common-sense safety measure that I would lay good odds no one ever thinks twice about. But every mark on those walls represents a potential horrible accident where the results or complications from accidents were at the least minimized.

The Red Flu

A good number of employees called out today with what I have come to call the "Red Flu". The Red Flu is an ailment that typically lasts 24-48 hours. The symptoms usually express themselves as headache, nausea, cramps, chest pains and can be diagnosed as Red Flu Type A or Type B.

Red Flu Type A and B both are contagious annually on or about February 14th. Type A is largely psychosomatic as the illness subsides once the employee has successfully called out sick from work. Any discomfort vanishes completely by the time they step out for a party that promises plenty of hot, drunken babes or the dinner reservations are confirmed with that special someone.

Red Flu Type B is initially similar in the way it affects the employee, with the exception of the added symptom of uncontrollable sobbing, as the employee becomes truly ill once they come to the sick realization they are alone and unloved.

Happy Valentine's Day!

We Accept Party Animals

This week a customer in his early 20s comes through my line and makes a purchase using his EBT card.

For those who do not know what that is, an EBT card is basically a debit card connected to a Food Stamp account. People in need are allotted by the State a certain amount of funds so they can eat and pay bills. Many EBT accounts allow the user to receive cash back from their purchase so they can pay for things they couldn't otherwise by debit card, like the rent. There is nothing inherently wrong with needing a hand every now and then. As I am fully aware, things happen. I was almost there myself back during The Bad Times.

The purchase? A pack of cigarettes and cash back of $100. The employees and customers who witnessed this were not amused.

But wait, there's more! A few minutes later the same customer comes back through the line with a cart full of beer and party supplies. He pays for it using the cash I gave him as change from his previous purchase.

Now I have some gripes with this:

1) Our tax dollars are being used so some kid can buy cigarettes and booze. A system set up to aid people in dire straights is underwriting a party.

2) In my opinion, anyone on food stamps should not be shopping in this community. It's a free country, but the prices are on average higher at stores located in affluent areas. Less than four miles away are many grocery stores with prices much lower than this one for the same products. If I was given a limited amount of funds each month to feed and house my family I'd want to stretch those dollars as far as I could. The customer also declined to use his store discount card, which would serve to drop the prices by an order of magnitude on the alcohol. It is likely the guy didn't want an electronic trail of his monetary purchases generated and wanted to remain anonymous in the event he was audited.

3) My California state tax return this year will be in the form of an I.O.U. because the government is supposedly broke. Yet somehow California can afford to issue people EBT cards that have little or no accountability in regards to their purchases.

4) I mean, seriously. WTF?

Get a cave

If by 'wonderful' you mean 'disgraceful'.

Brides in Love #12 (April 1959).

Sean Penn

Rock N' Roll Comics #17 featuring Madonna (November 1990).

Shame

DC 100-Page Super Spectacular #5 (1971).

Sleestak's Logic Puzzle

Triangle is what?

Of course you know

Due to an asshat bombarding the site with his religious wingnuttery (who is also spamming other sites and boards, I've found) I've had to enable comment moderation. As usual for the woo-woo type and their hit and run attacks, this person is hiding behind 'unavailable status' so no one finds him and can launch his special brand of loony and threats from the safety of anonymity while pretending to be a Lamb of God. Here's the response to demanding he quit spamming the site:

Use "Comment Moderation" or I'll be back.

Now that you know the truth, you'll be held to a higher standard when you make your account to God. Good luck ; )

It isn't like this person is totally anonymous. A-holes always advertise, don't they? Usually what happens is these types get exposed and scurry away like roaches when the spotlight gets switched on. The accounts they use to spam and threaten get closed, their ISP bounces them and sometimes, if the emails originated from a workplace, they get unemployed for being wacky on company time.

I don't like comment moderation because it slows the pace of the fun. Like playing chess by mail.

It's this or the chair, doll!

Sam Hill, Private Eye #1 (1950).

That breeze feels good

A bit less subtle than a sledgehammer message of morality for young impressionable comic book readers of a bygone era.

My Own Romance #31 (September 1953).

Lava Shadow Pictures

Featuring John Blake and Mrs. Blake.

From The Farmer's Wife magazine (October 1932).

Certainly demonstrating something

Robin to the rescue

"I've got lots more special comics just like that in my cave. Let's go and read them together." Said Petey the Wolf.

Kiddie Kapers #1 (1945).

Flash Fact

Ow. Contemplate the amount of detail erased from that Tales of Asgard panel penciled by Jack Kirby. Well, at least it got published. If anyone else had tried to ink the high amount of news rack-flooding titles of early Marvel's output the company would probably have failed long ago.

While I agree with many that Vince Colletta could be the creative kiss of death for any comic book he worked on, he deserves more industry and fan respect than he usually receives. The man rarely missed a deadline, if ever. If Vinnie had been given an estimated percentage of all the money he routinely saved a publisher by having them avoid the high cost of of idle printing presses due to missing a publishing date he would have been a very wealthy man.

Think Snowth

via Dr. K.

Sleestak's Puzzle Page

Unsafe at any speed

Spicy Stories (September 1936).

Praise for Tru Dat

From the back cover -

STEERING WHEEL OF DESTINY!

Tru Dat © is a publicly-accessible information gathering and data retrieval service that is part and parcel of every activity, large or small. Once implemented, Tru Dat © caused a paradigm shift in the way politicians did business, it was a boon to law enforcement and the bane of corrupt businesses and those who labored to distort the truth. Privacy is a nearly out-dated concept. Transparency and accountability are a way of life. With Tru Dat ©, the most obscure fact about nearly anything or anyone was readily available via a lightning-fast download to anyone who cared to browse the database.

After a minor mechanical failure of his car causes average guy James Wassanna to be tagged by Tru Dat © with reckless endangerment his life begins to spiral out of control. Neighbors are angry, his fiance is about to leave him, the police are about to arrest him, revenue collection agencies are hounding him and a bored, sensation-hungry public is following his every move. As circumstantial evidence gathered by Tru Dat © repeatedly ties James into increasingly serious crimes he has no choice but to rebel!

"It's like GATTACA meets The Manchurian Candidate!" - Jackie Lancer, Boston Review.

"A wake-up call for the Information Age!" - Tech Quarterly OnLine.

"Frankenstein's creation is a Girl Scout compared to Harman's benevolent monster." - A-Z Book Review.