Sunday, December 31, 2006

The 1st feministical anti-exploitation educational comic book post of 2007

Why is this cover and version of Supergirl considered exploitive...

Supergirl #00 - DIRTY!

But this one isn't?

Supergirl #80 - NOT DIRTY!


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(If 'feministical' wasn't a real word before, it is now.)

Years, numbers and wishful thinking

2007 New Year's Resolution

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Dr. Gottlieb! Your centrifuge is running!

Career Girl Romances #49

"...also my hand is running over my breasts...because I really like to watch other people engage in haphazard, risky sexual activity in a lab full of dangerous, toxic chemicals. Call it my kink."

From Career Girl Romances #49 (February 1969)

Comic Book Ad: Tobacco gets you the chicks

How I long for the good old days of inappropriate comic book advertising like drug culture paraphernalia, rifles, inflatable "love pillows" and cigarettes.

Spy Cases #9

From Spy Cases #9 (February 1952).

Did you know you can find these cases today and they are still only a $1.98!

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Grocery Store Artifact: Squeeze 'n' Sniff

This little squeeze-gadget below was mounted on a display plug for cleaning products. The chamber in the pump is filled with some smell-alike granules of whatever cleaner is being promoted. When a customer pumps the belows they get a whiff of lemony-freshness or springy-fresh breeze, allegedly what your dishes or clothes will smell like after a good washing.

Seems like too much work to me. I have to earn the right to purchase your product through some sort of physical trial? You just lost a customer, baby. How many variations on the April Shower scent are there, anyways? As long as it doesn't smell like Golden Shower then I'll probably buy it. Especially if the logo is dark blue, I'm easy that way. So take note, Marketing Guys.

When I found the gadget on the floor after a display removal I carried it around for days. I thought about refilling it with bits of pastrami and remounting it in the soap section just to see what people thought of the new personal hygiene fragrance, but I found out it was more fun to keep on throwing fake punches with one hand while surreptitiously squeezing the bellows with the other. The whuffing noise made me feel like I was in a martial arts movie. Plus, it made me clean and sweet smelling.

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Saturday, December 30, 2006

And now, a Bunny Ball Moment

A decidedly different kind of Bunny Ball from YouTube to cleanse the mind of all those disturbing post-Comics Code Authority Harvey images.

Bunny Ball

Click the picture for some cute bunny video action!


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Honey Ball's Babysitting Job

Honey Ball, the younger sister of Bunny Ball, takes on a babysitting job and gets viciously assaulted by little Edgar over the course of the story. Intrigued by the expression "for my sake" that Honey uttered, Edgar demands that Honey give up her "sake" to him (by which he means her virginity or virtue, I imagine). The brat kicks, bites, bludgeons with objects and forcibly subdues Honey before sated, collapsing from exhaustion.



This tale isn't so much a comic book as rape-fantasy porn. You can walk through the crime here.

Much of the imagery is disturbing for a children's comic book and I believe is without question rendered by the artist in a manner designed to be questionable, particularly the oral-sex centric panel from the last page of the story above.

From Bunny #16 (September 1970)

Friday, December 29, 2006

The Fight of the Century!


What, too soon? You just know they saved Hussein's brain, also. It's all part of their cunning plan.

Just planting the seed of the conspiracy nut tree...


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Yeah, that's pretty dirty

Once you remove the funny-book pictures this limerick from Bunny #2 is downright filthy!

There once was a gal Bunny Ball
The grooviest gal of 'em all
She went to a party...
The Beagles felt hearty,
and joyfully bounced Bunny Ball!

Hey, kids! Casual group sex with animals!

Bunny #1 (Surfboard)

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Thursday, December 28, 2006

Vintage Ad: Timely Tips by Little Lulu

I know that for some reason many people are fans of Little Lulu so for their enjoyment I scanned this one page ad for Kleenex tissues featuring the character. I am not a Lulu fan but I can appreciate the page for the period art and style of advertising.
From Quick News Weekly (August 6, 1951).

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What's in a name?



Ever notice how the names of female comic characters denote their sexuality and place in society and the names of their male counterparts proclaims their power and alpha-maleness?

Diana Prince: Named after a mythical Goddess, but her surname defines her in terms of a title reserved for male royalty.

Anthony Stark: The surname means devoid of adornment or artifice. With Tony, even in armor, what you see is what you get. Often what you get is an uber-powerful jerk with unlimited resources to crush an opponent.

I'm sure there are many others...

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Grocery Store Artifact: I want to be your fake delicatessen friend

I can't tell you how many times I see some idiot touching my food in ways not related to preparation. As one who worked behind the scenes in the food industry, I'm surprised that all of humanity hasn't been wiped out by some kind of plague.

So here is an FYI for all of you who touch my food:

This is a great big NO-NO!
I don't care if the CDC itself gave you Bio-Hazard level 5 anti-bacterial solution-impregnated gloves that spent 24 hours under a UV light before you wore them. DO NOT put your fingers in my food! I have enough of my own earwax, thank you, and I don't need any of your personal supply making it into the food chain.

Just so you know, this is the proper way to hold a food container:

See? Easy as the pie you dropped on the floor and put back in the oven without telling anyone.

Also, stop whistling while you work. Disney cartoons aside, whistling while at the job means you spit in my food while sharing your favorite tune with me. It won't kill you to breathe with your mouth closed for a few minutes, either. Oh, and the chatting? Just shut up for the few seconds you are bent over the bowl when fetching my meal, as I've seen how even simple, clear speech sprays saliva all over the place.

You see, when I am behind the counter my face is a cold, joyless mask. I don't hate or resent you or my job at all. The reality is that by not speaking with you and barely acknowledging your presence, I am actually helping you by providing excellent customer service above and beyond the false-friendship of the typically chatty types of clerks. If you want some hygienically-challenged malingering pissant that wouldn't urinate on you if you were on fire if you met out in the real world touching your food then by all means, take your eye off of them for a few minutes while they fill a container with your side dish. I am giving your immune system a break by not prattling on about That Local Sports Team and drooling all over your Three-Bean Salad.

You should thank me for that.

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The Bunny Dahlia

From Bunny Ball #1 (December 1966) comes this tale of Bettie Page-ian proportions. For someone who is supposedly the word's reigning teen queen of fashion, style and what is "In", Bunny Ball sure seems to do a lot of underground fetish work. Through much of her series Bunny comes off less like the popularized version of Annette Funicello and more like some calculating, attention-hungry media-savvy prostitute.

Bunny #1 The Bunny Dahlia part 1

Bunny #1 The Bunny Dahlia part 2

The next few pages has Elmer beating up an art gallery judge who is practically masturbating in public over Bunny's baby girl photo. Seedy pornographer Elmer then wins the photo contest which just goes to reinforce as fact the old show biz formula that Sex + Violence = Profit.

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Wednesday, December 27, 2006

The Electric Bunny Acid Test

Harvey Comics was an interesting comic book company. Much has been written about them, but one thing to remember about the company is that they were early masters of crime, horror and gore comic books. Harvey changed the content of their magazines to that of being more suitable to children only as an effort to avoid being crushed by the external pressures of parent groups and politicians. It was a bold move that allowed them to outlast several other companies and the Harvey line created the memorable characters of Richie Rich and Casper.

While on the surface the Harvey titles seemed benign a more adult eye would easily see themes that children did not. After all, comic books about a dead baby, a demon free to wreak havoc on Earth, a witch and an exploitative capitalist couldn't possibly be harmful, could they? While everyone knows about the more popular Harvey characters, one of their forgettable characters was Bunny Ball, teen sensation, successful model and a young woman with a name worthy of a Bond Girl.

Bunny also had a psychotically boy-hungry kid sister who bore the name of Honey. She was obsessed with discovering new ways to make boys like her. To me, a "Honey Ball" sounds like something involving many drunken co-eds on spring-break, but I digress. Bunny was one of those comic book attempts to cash in on the Archie dollars. DC and Marvel did the same thing with Binky, Patsy and Debi and the Harvey line was no different. Like their counterparts at the other companies the late 1960's was a schizophrenic time for teen-oriented comic books. The characters were often trapped between being the idealized Donna Reed archetype while at the same time trying to appeal to a young crowd being force-fed Mod styles and psychedelic imagery. In Bunny #4 (March 1968), the clothing styles and idioms of all the characters fluctuate over the course of several stories, bouncing from conservative 1950's to the hip 1960's and back again (this is likely due to the style of whatever artist happened to be on the pencil chores for any given story).

The entire series is odd and Bunny #4 itself is a very strange book. The issue is chock full of fetish imagery and hints of the seedy underbelly of the pornography industry of the late 1960's. One of the tales in Bunny #4 is about a "Happening" at the home of a member of the BBIC, the Bunny Ball "In" Club. The BBIC is a fan club for the Bunny readers that also appeared in stories.

The feature Yvoorg Nam (that's Zatanna-speak for Groovy Man) in Bunny #4 is uncredited but it looks to have been drawn by Ernie Colon, who did a lot of work for Harvey. This is one of those Seduction of the Innocent-type stories that has content that will sneak past a child but gets recognized for what it really is about by an adult. The story is about a drug dealer named Yvoorg Nam who visits the home of bored teenagers and dispenses to the gang plenty of psychotropic drugs. The kids have an LSD-fueled orgy and they even experience a bad trip, freaking out and taking the dealer hostage at one point. Yvoorg is well-rendered and is suspiciously detailed, more than the other characters (I suspect that Yvoorg has the features of a celebrity of the time or is someone the artist knows). I'm just giddy that Harvey comics was able to depict teens doing hard drugs in 1968 and they got away with it. And yes, it is Comics Code approved!

So click the picture to tune in, drop out and experience the entire groovy trip for yourself.

Grocery Store Artifact: Memo to Supervisors

FYI: If you ask me five times in five hours how my Christmas went then you are just being insulting. Don't get me wrong. It is nice that you show an interest but there are limits. By repeatedly asking the same thing you are letting me know that I'm not important enough for you to remember for more than 50 minutes at a time.

It's just like when you struggle to recall my name in spite of us working together for six months and in the face of the fact that I have a large name tag on my uniform. You think it's a clever little way of establishing who is in charge and who is not. In reality, not being able to recall the name of one of the three co-workers you spend the day with just makes you seem feeble-minded.

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Monday, December 25, 2006

Jesus is a player

Go, Jesus! It's your birthday! Go, Jesus! Get your game on! Go, Jesus! Have a party!

Wait, I forgot. No, it's not. Also, download the Washington Irving story, Old Christmas.

After Jesus emerged victorious from a fierce battle in the desert with the Devil, God sent him three hot angels to "minister" to his needs. Oh, yeah, party at Yahweh's house!

Sometimes, Father's can be pretty cool.

From Picture Stories from the Bible #1 (1946)

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Sunday, December 24, 2006

Comic Book Ad: Fool your stupid friends

Hey, good-lookin'! We'll be back around to pick you up later!


From Adventures in the Unknown #4 (
Apr-May 1944)

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Saturday, December 23, 2006

Friday, December 22, 2006

Babes of Prey

Looks like Big Barda was in such a hurry to help all of her similarly personally empowered female friends in Birds of Prey #101 that she forgot to wear all the parts of her battle armor. Namely, the chest plate.
In this issue showing off the breasts didn't make her any less of a badass but the lingerie-armor isn't what I've come to expect of the no-nonsense Barda or her creative team. That's okay, though. She still has better protection than that goober who appeared in Catwoman.

Who wears all over body-armor and doesn't cover the skull? This guy flies at high speed, sets off mini-rockets within a few yards of himself, smashes through walls and just stands there when people shoot at him. Stupid. I'd be covering my head and running the other way. I imagine one day when the police find his body the armor will be intact but the dead man inside will have had his brain impaled by a brick. At least that is how I'd write it.

Bonus this issue: Plenty of hot MEGA-ROD action!

Thanks, Gail!

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EEFI

IraqSlogger columnist Eason Jordan let more of the world know that the U.S.'s counter-insurgency manual is available for free on the internet. I'm not as concerned about it as some others seem to be. There are older manuals with just as much information within that have been sitting in used book stores for decades in nearly every country in the world, after all. While technically considered EEFI, the manual itself seems full of what I would term "common sense" tactics and the info is available from many sources. It's more of a guideline, really. I see the info in the manual as being the equivalent of handing someone the instruction booklet for programming their universal television remote control and then setting them loose using it to repair an F-15 fighter jet. There is a world of difference in book-learning and the execution of what you learned when operating at that level.

I'm also thinking that maybe a little disinformation could be involved in the release of the manual. One of the facets of what makes operations successful is that an outside observer is unable to discern they are being played. Perhaps the good guys would be watching and waiting for someone to put faulty ops into motion and reporting, "Al Quacker is using an op from page 17. That trick never works."

Disinformation abounds in the popular media. While I doubt that it is deliberately placed by secret agents (post-1956, anyways) out to sow confusion and is more an artifact of cinema, it never hurts to have it out there, either. Hollywood needs no assistance in showing America's enemies how not to perform covert ops. It's ridiculous to think that some news outlet reporting that an agency can tap into cell phones without the bearer being aware of it is treason or aiding an enemy. The pro's know this and the stupid don't care. In fact, if crime reports are any indication most criminals still do not understand the concept of the security camera.

One of the best examples of misinformation in the cinema that shows the disparity between fantasy and reality is from the 1985 movie that broke the stupidity barrier, Iron Eagle. In Iron Eagle, a student pilot hijacks a fighter jet to save his father, who is held prisoner in a foreign country. The young pilot is aided and abetted by several high school pals, who hack into military computers and have unfettered access to the most sensitive areas of a base to obtain supplies and missiles for the rescue mission.

When I saw iron Eagle it was while I was in the armed forces and I went with several friends to a base exchange theater to see it. The following conversation from the film takes place between a teen-ager in a car and the security police officer at the gate entrance to a weapons storage area full of ammo, bombs and missiles.

SP: What are you doing here?
Kid: We want to see the new Packer 32s.
SP: I can't sneak you in during the day.
Kid: Come on, Sweeney. My sister said to ask you to do it for her.
SP: Was she talking about me?
Kid: I heard her tell Mom that she was upset that you don't call her more.
SP: I can sneak you in for five minutes, but only one of you.
After pimping out his sister to a G.I., the kid gets access to the facility and then arranges to steal a planeload of ordinance. Stupid, eh? Oh, yes, very stupid. My friends and the audience, also persons in the military, jeered loudly and laughed. I didn't, because that scene was a-okay with me. If the rest of the world thinks it is that easy to get into a secured weapons depot then I won't do much to change their feeble minds about it. It just means that the stupid and crazy will get weeded out all the sooner by trying to get in so our boys (and girls) can focus on watching out for the real threats. It's like Darwinism for dumbasses.

So all you evil types, by all means, download your copy of the new Counter-Insurgency Manual. Pay special attention to the chapter on ethics, because you know we'll be following those guidelines so very, very carefully that you can catch us with our pants down. Sure.

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Thursday, December 21, 2006

What's Up, Doc McCoy?

Yeah, I think it is about time to back away from the more feline aspect of the Beast before the writers have him getting killed off in a tragic El Explodo cigar attack while in battle with the White Rabbit.

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Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Made you look

This discarded toy placed on a maintenance cart outside the apartment today made me look twice. Considering the people who live around here, it wouldn't have surprised me to see a baby sitting outside in the 35 degree weather while a parent worked. I mean, it's twice now the police found a toddler wandering around outside at three in the morning.

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CoiE Revisted

Via Warren Ellis comes a picture of the cosmos as it was 13 billion years ago, revealing objects that were probably formed a few hundred million years after the Big Bang (which, by the way, created the Universe, duh).

It is a fascinating look into the past and a welcome addition to Mankind's Pile o' Knowledge. I have a question, though: What was Superman doing there at the dawn of time?

The Spectre I can believe being there because he duked it out with the Anti-Monitor. But Superman? Must be a trick to test our faith in DC comics.

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This Things I Believe

  1. America has the resources both financially and in pure know-how to fix any problem it sees fit to. That it does not means someone is getting getting wealthy on certain systems being entirely dysfunctional.
  2. The greatest Christmas movie ever to be produced was Die Hard.
  3. The "Broken Window Effect" is valid in as much as it can be applied to a business, re: Managerial oversight.
  4. Someday, George Clooney will be President of the United States.
  5. I always see the glass as half-full. Unfortunately, it is half-full of a deadly poison.
  6. A "Mary Sue" is not gender-specific.
  7. In some work environments a 50 years old female co-worker can place freshly-cut apple rings over her nipples and show her breasts to the guys in the meat department, not for the first time, and this is not considered unprofessional behavior on the part of a supervisor, but complaining about the behavior is.
  8. There are few things better than a new Destroyer or Repairman Jack novel.
  9. Maryland is an IQ wasteland.
  10. I enjoy the change of seasons and inclement weather. I look forwards to snow and I challenge thunderstorms to do their worst, as long as I don't have to work outside in it.
  11. It is unbelievable that a modern, nationwide company is incapable of paying their employees correctly and in a timely manner.
  12. The adherents of religion have caused more problems than they have solved, but they have been inspired to create some awesome music, ie: the Jesus Christ Superstar soundtrack.
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Tuesday, December 19, 2006

While on the subject of crack shots

From Gangsters Can't Win #3 (June-July 1948)

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Franklin Richards, MANEATER!

One of the common elements of the superhero costume is the chest symbol. For Superman the shield on his costume is the family crest of the Kryptonian House of El and just happens to resemble the letter 'S' in the English language on Earth. Spider-Man has an arachnid crouching in the center of a giant web. The crest of the Green Lantern Corps is, of course, the image of a lamp that brings light to the cosmos, dispelling darkness.

Other chest symbols are not so obvious in their meaning. As much as I hate to relate it, Power Girl recently opined that she has a peek-a-boo window over her cleavage because she is seeking something meaningful and unique with which to fill the space. The recently-but-probably-not-forever deceased Gravity sported a symbol that resembled a sphere with lines of force being pulled to the center. It also used negative space to form an 'X' symbol, which could serve to suggest affiliation with both the Marvel Next imprint and the X-Men franchise.

Then there is little Franklin Richards, son of Reed and Sue Richards of the Fantastic Four. Franklin is an Omega-class mutant super-tyke with god-like powers that every writer seems hesitant to firmly define for worry of destroying forever a Marvel legacy character. Today he is Franklin Richards, Son of a Genius, but in the 1980's Franklin was known as Tattletale and was affiliated with the Power Pack, a group of children given powers by a Magic Space Horse in order to save the Earth from destruction. The Power Pack series was pretty good, if a bit toyetic, and it was on my pull-list. There were a few memorable arcs, a good cross-over with Wolverine with the youngest member of the group and the kids were even involved and traumatized by the events in the Mutant Massacre. In that era Franklin was not presently the ultra-powerful demi-god he could become on occasion. Back then he had the "limited" power to dream of future events and being a good boy, he was compelled to take action to prevent disasters and help people.

Franklin became involved with Power Pack after his precognitive dreams urged him to assist the gang in several adventures. Eventually he became a semi-regular member and the spaceship, Friday, on loan to the kids by the Magic Space Horse gave Franklin his very own costume.
While not as cute and clever as the sweatshirt with the "4 1/2" symbol Franklin usually wore as his own version of the FF union suit, the Power Pack costume was functional as well as a bit more mature. It suited the underlying structure of the series that while it was about children, many adult themes ran through the title.

Superficially, the symbol of Franklin's costume was a stylized eye shining a probing beam out into and illuminating the future, an apt representation of his precognitive ability. Or that, as many claim, an eye of a peeping Franklin looking through a keyhole, into adulthood and possibly into his parents' bedroom. But the symbol also had another meaning, more in line with that of dream symbolism.

So just in case any comic book readers and never understood the real origin of the chest symbol on Franklin Richard's costume, here is the explanation.

Carl Gustav Jung
By Frank McLynn

In the dream Jung was in a meadow near Laufen castle and discovered an underground passageway. He descended and in a subterranean chamber found a kind of altar or king's throne on which stood what he thought at first was a tree trunk, some twelve to fifteen feet high and about two feet thick. The object was made of skin and naked flesh, with a rounded head and a single eye on the very top of the head. Later he would recognize the object as a ritual phallus. He was awoken by his mother's voice, as it were from outside, crying out, "That is the maneater!"
That's right. Little Franklin Richards had a giant penis on his costume.

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Cynical Marketing Ploy of the Year

I'll jump on the Blogoweb's great big Bandwagon o' Disgust about Time Magazine's cover story this week. The So-Called "Austin Mayor" summed up the issue pretty well with his quoted content and I dare you to tell his choice for Person of the Year he isn't worthy of the honor.

Here is my entry, the Man with the Electronic Brain! Like most persons of the information age, he destroys everything he touches!

My cover image for the Person of the Year issue is way better than that stupid mirror, a concept I first saw in my favorite bedtime story book, Winken, Blinken and Nod way back in 1964. I have no idea why I don't work for the art department at Time Magazine making huge amounts of cash. Life is not fair.

I think that just about anyone could design a better cover than Time did. Anyone. Even...YOU.

More honorees:

Bully lets us know who is in charge.

Jon the Intergalactic Warrior is in for a fight.

Steven has the real buzz on his choice.

Brandon's is hypnotic.


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Monday, December 18, 2006

Good fer what ails ya

I've been sick with a bad cold for days. I recognize that how I currently feel is similar to how I am progressing when the cold gets worse and I get a persistent lung and sinus infection. The so-called "non-drowsy" medicine is knocking me out for hours and I feel terrible when I wake up.

I just remembered I have a big jar of kimchi in the fridge.

I'll be cured by tomorrow morning.

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Lost site help

Looking for a creator website I lost that is about cats in buckets fighting. Saw it last year but can't locate it. I know that I had to scroll across the screen to see the entire page, and the art had at least one bucket with a star on it.

Anyone know what it was?

Update:

Anonymous said...

That's "A Bucket Full O' Kittens," a webcomic short by the great Scott McCloud, which can be read for free on his homepage. Select "Online Comics," "The Morning Improv," and "Previous Improvs."

That was fast! Thanks!

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Comic Book PSA: Hey, Kids! Bullets!

Patriotic, yet remarkably inappropriately-placed PSA urging children to purchase savings stamps to raise money for the war effort. This PSA propaganda was unfortunately published in Picture Stories From The Bible#1 (1943). Onward, Christian soldiers!

"Think of all the guns, planes and ships we could buy with that!"

That's right, children. If you bought a savings stamp during WWII you were helping to kill people. You were unaware of it, but you were being used. That's okay though, because you were children. So don't feel bad, just blame your parents for not protecting you.

I think something similar happened to me while I was in grade school, when all the kids in school were asked to participate in a project with the Lebanon Agricultural Department in cooperation with the US government. For a contribution of a dollar each child was supposed to get a sample of Lebanese agricultural products (cotton, etc) and an informational packet. Needless to say, but I'm saying it anyways, we never received squat for our buck. I wondered even then what happened to all those monies that were collected (presumably from kids from all over the state if not the nation), where it ultimately ended up and what it actually funded. The other possibility is that my dollar didn't go to fund a war in Lebanon but instead assisted the school principal in buying a swimming pool for his residence.

Remember, kids: Actions have consequences, don't trust anyone over 30 and all evil needs to succeed is for good people to do nothing.

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Sunday, December 17, 2006

Hayley Mills is wise

When Steven attempts to con Mister Franklin with his eddiehaskellian assertion of honorable attentions...
You can always trust Hayley Mills to set the record straight with sound parental advice.

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Grocery Store Artifact: Shopping cart misappropriation warning

Cute, bi-lingual informational sign attached to those shopping carts that are equipped with electronic devices that lock the wheels if removed from the property, making it useless to hippies.

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Friday, December 15, 2006

Spider-Man Reign: A little continuity can be good

As anticipated there is a minor furor over the exposure of Peter Parker's aged genitals in Spider-Man - Reign #1. This was known that it might be an issue prior to the release of the books but Marvel still let it go out to retailers anyways. It was only after reaping some much-needed publicity that Marvel offered retailers credit for a return on the books.

While I personally do not think the "art-gaffe" is a big deal in itself, the realities of molehills being rapidly transformed into mountainous lawsuits and spurious charges against retailers is very real. Unless it gets released as a mature title then Marvel should not have put already hard-pressed retailers into the uncomfortable position of screening who can purchase a "Spidey-Man" comic book for fear of upsetting a parent. Presumably, the trade edition will have Peter wearing judiciously-applied Editorial Swimwear.

If you are so inclined, you can see the uncensored panel by using the itty-bitty link below. Weirdos.
Spider-Man - Reign: Uncensored


That said, this issue of Reign is proof that Continuity Is Good.

In this fight scene from Spectacular Spider-Man #129 (August 1987), the paid hitman the Foreigner needles Peter Parker about a steamy affair with Peter's girlfriend, Felicia (Black Cat) Hardy.
I love that silent panel after the Foreigner states that he and Felicia had a good laugh when ridiculing Peter's physical attributes in comparison to his own. Peter is already emotionally crippled and very insecure when it comes to relationships and women, so I can imagine what is going through his mind just then. Unfortunately it appears also that from the evidence shown in Spider-Man - Reign that the Foreigner was not just talking trash, either. Poor Spidey.

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Thursday, December 14, 2006

Fear and Loathing in Jerusalem

I classify religion-themed comics as being a part of the 20 Pieces of Silver Age era of comic books! From Picture Stories from the Bible #1 (1943)


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Foreshadowing: A Vibe-level death scene

So the current ex-villain, Outsiders member and sexually frustrated Uhmm-friend and confidant to Supergirl, Boomerang 2, can run for short bursts at super-speed. He has a stupid goatee and wears an 8 foot scarf.
Of course, all you Boomey-fans realize that as soon as Geoff Johns et al tire of the character he's certainly dead right? With his powers and that neck-scarf, his secret identity may as well be "Izzy Duncan". Yeah, he's gonna die a stupid, useless death by getting that thing snagged on a coat rack or something.

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Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Desperate Hovelwives

The bible is so full of euphemisms and subtext, who knew?

Man of God = Homeless, wandering derelict.

Gave bread = Had sex with.

Rest yourself = Have sex.

Kind woman = Hottie.

Pray = Do it like crazed goats 3 or 4 times day while her husband was out in the fields working for their daily bread.

Good Prophet = Deadbeat Dad.
This adaptation of a Lifetime Channel movie featuring Eva Longoria, Nathan Fillion and The Hoff is from Pictures Stories from the Bible - Old Testament #4 (1943)


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Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Mystic Pizza

No lie, the best pizza I ever ate was in South Korea at the Golden Gate restaurant. The pizza was about 2 inches thick and came with a table full of condiments. Bamboo shoots, fish, various veggies and other side dishes including kimchi. You haven't lived until you have had kimchi on a pizza.

This panel was delivered in 30 minutes or less from Pictures Stories from the Bible - Old Testament #4 (1943)

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PC Batman

Sometime in the 80's, presumably the early years of the decade sometime around his foray into the Outsiders, there was a scene in a DC comic where a group or committee was talking about what superheroes could be called upon in event of an emergency.

During the meeting Batman was referenced and discarded because he was not too friendly to the status quo of the time. On a computer screen was an image of the Batman with the words "Politically Incorrect" also on the screen that declared his official standing with the group. It could have been the government, the JLA, I don't recall exactly who was discussing him.

Anyone know where that image is from? It's been making me crazy trying to find it. It was, I think, one of the first uses of the term Politically Incorrect I recall seeing in print. It meant something quite different back then, than what it eventually came to mean.

Update, 1:40 pm: Found it! Reader Joe W suggested Batman and the Outsiders #15. I checked and that wasn't it, but the Von Eeden art reminded me that it wasn't originally drawn by Jim Aparo, which I was sure it was. It occurred much later in the series (BatO #27) than my faulty memory led me to believe and was drawn by Alan Davis. Thanks, Joe!

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Monday, December 11, 2006

This a job for Super-Moses!

Once Mr. Myxyzptlk was defeated, Super-Moses had his final, senses-shattering battle with President Nixon.

This panel wandered out of the desert from Pictures Stories from the Bible - Old Testament #3 (Spring 1943)

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Sunday, December 10, 2006