The Tramp!

I'd be remiss if I didn't touch on the ancestor of the romance comic book, the pulp magazine. Pulps are a different animal and not like a comic book like the others recently featured. Yet many of the tales like the one featured in the pulp magazine Snappy #11 (November 1937) shared quite a few elements in common with the fare later offered in the comics. Many of the pulp stories were lurid, full of subtext and serviced the misogynistic fantasies of the targeted market. All this carried over to the comic books with little change to most plots.

Like the comics, many stories featured the lonely woman over-compensating by acting out or self-sabotaging a relationship and the strong, over-bearing male who pursues and wins the affection of a female only to throw her over or demand she quit her career or lifestyle to stand in a subservient role to him. There were of course differences, as the story and illustrations could be of more mature content depending on the magazine itself, yet many of the stories would not be out of place in the romance comic books. Not surprising since many of the creators working in the pulp magazine industry worked in comic books when that format became the market leader.

In 1937 Snappy was borderline pornographic material, though far more adult material is seen in the comics and magazines marketed to children and young adults of today. In the heyday of the news stands Snappy was one of the magazines not on public display and was kept out of view behind the counter. A customer had to ask for it. The decline of the pulps, the battles with censorship and the rise of comic books is a fascinating story of the publishing industry and is one I urge anyone to learn more about.

Hold the link close and gasp with the ecstasy of downloading a pdf file of The Tramp!

My Fair Secretary

No romance comic book story is complete without at least one panel that consists of naughty subtext.

The story "You're My Everything!" from My Love Story #2 (June 1951) is free of most of the underlying sexual tension that most stories of this era include. This tale is unusual in that there are no scheming bitter rivals out to destroy the innocent and love lorn ingénue.

It is not sacrifice and nobility but pity that defines the main character in this story. Terry Tyler is the smartest professional girl in the office, yet she lacks ambition and aggressiveness. No one dislikes her specifically as she is competent at her job, but her bosses and co-workers do not respect her or trust that Terry will always do her best. Terry is ignored or passed over for opportunities while choice assignments and promotions go to others who have more spunk. Terry is afraid to do more than show up and work quietly and then go home. It is only when Rod, the hot new executive at the office recognizes her potential and takes Terry under his wing does she begin to realize and believe in her own abilities.

Rod needs a smart motivated assistant to handle the heavy work. He choses Terry against the advice of his peers. Rod is a good boss and knows he could provide the proper motivation to urge urge Terry to excel in her work. Some would say that this was sexist but actually that is what a good boss is supposed to do. Today such motivation would be accomplished without a condescending hand on the shoulder but in 1951 chain-smoking, boozing and groping the honeys in the secretarial pool was an accepted part of the modern office environment. The real sexist behavior comes at the end of the story.

Soon the challenges given Terry by Rod transform her into a confident career woman. In fact, Terry quickly outgrows her role and is in line to be promoted. Now that Terry has confidence, new job prospects and her life is in order she realizes something else in her life is missing. A man! Terry is falling for Rod and worried that she will be separated from him due to her promotion. To her credit Terry does not do anything to sabotage her career so she can remain in his office. She dutifully arranges for her replacement, oblivious to Rod's amorous intentions.

Now that Terry is a success in her job and the future is wide open to her, Rod pressures her to resign and be a stay at home wife! Again, this was more or less the accepted image in the 1950s, that young women would receive enough education to run a household and work outside the home until they found a husband. Interestingly, all the young girls reading these comics in the early 1950s and dreaming of an idealized romantic future would grow up to find themselves in a very different social, political and economic realities.

The Pledge of Pamela Dixon

To continue Comic Book Romances of Liberated Women Week comes this entry from True Secrets #10 (October 1951).

This story has it all! A clueless writer, an artist that doesn't bother to change the clothing of any of the characters even though weeks pass in the story, a sleazy Lothario, a frustrated protagonist and a spinsterish not-gay-at-all BFF!

Pamela Dixon is a career-minded woman making her way in man's world buying underwear for a retail store. Her 'pledge' is to focus on her career and let nothing distract her from success and happiness, which she believes is found in the workplace and not the hearth. The story is full of formulaic cliches that includes swooning females and feigned hate masking love and is a subtext-o-rama of seething sexual frustration and repressed lesbian jealousy.

Enjoy!

Ever notice how those wedding scenes in silver age comic books always manage to fit in the "supportive friend" somewhere and they are always smiling? It's nearly mandatory for scenes like this and it always seems their joy is forced. I can't count how many images of Jimmy Olsen there are in similar panels whenever Superman gets (choke) married in some imaginary story or elaborate set up to teach Lois a humiliating lesson. Jimmy is always in the background, grimacing stiffly and pretending to be happy for his friend when actually his heart is being crushed like a lump of coal in Superman's fist. I can just imagine Pamela's boss leaving the wedding to go cut the brake lines on Dick's car and muttering "If I can't have her, no one will!"

Another dumb blond

Beautiful, matriculating Jean has a brilliant mind but refuses to use it to her full potential, worried that if she displays above-average intelligence then she will be attractive only to nerdy guys from Nowheresville, USA!

Jean ensures she is as non-threatening as possible to males by engaging in the time-honored practice of self-sabotaging every one of her personal relationships, distancing herself from the articulate crowd and playing the part of a dumb blond (She has a silly disguise, though. It's obvious to anyone she is a genius because she wears big glasses and is rendered all the hotter when she takes them off). Soon enough, Jean soon hooks up with hunky Rick and falls in love.

But Jean's relationship is doomed. Rick is interested only in scratching an itch before settling down with his brainy, book-selling girlfriend and pursuing a college education. Rick is really interested only in hot, sexy women who can challenge him intellectually.

In due course Rick dumps Jean in public and thoroughly crushes and humiliates her by abruptly introducing her to his fiancee, because why not? Jean is stupid and will likely forget all about her broken heart once she gets distracted by something a shiny gum wrapper or seagull. Check out how logical and cool Rick is when he explains his relationship to jean. Of course, he takes the opportunity to rub it in a bit too. Smart people do that because they are superior to the little brains.
The lesson to be learned here by Jean and all women is that it is better to just be yourself and not be a phony if you want a good man. And hot. Don't forget you need to be hot.

From "When Love Is Lost!", published in Our Love Story #17 (June 1972). Written by Stan Lee in defiance of all that is good.

My Love #10 - No Man Is My Master!

Originally brought to my attention by flickr user just.because, My Love #10 (March 1971) is another unintentionally hilarious attempt by old, out-of-touch men to script a comic book romance featuring liberated women of the 1970s. This is a story that should be infuriating to anyone with a shred of dignity or self-respect but probably made perfect sense to the confused, elderly gents that diligently applied 1940s sensibilities and mores to the wacky and tumultuous 1970s.

I have have to give the creators credit for trying to please their customers even though Stan and the gang obviously had no damn clue what was going on down in the streets and probably gleaned all of their contemporary cultural knowledge from browsing Time Magazine at the news stand and watching Walter Cronkite for 10 minutes each evening. The entire story is full of brain-hurting gold like the "Duckling" panel shown above.

The story was also reprinted a few years later in issue #25 of the same title, albeit with a vastly inferior coloring job on the cover. FYI Marvel: Gwen is hotter than MJ. Also, way to totally ruin the awesome Kirbyesque look of her dress with the recolor.

So here for your enjoyment is the reprint of "Mo Man Is My Master!" in it's entirety from My Love #25 (September 1973), no messy downloads required.

I thought only Ultimate Jarvis was a leering perv?

It's been said before and I'll say it again now: Stan Lee had no business writing a romance story. Oh, man. i just had a thought. If he got his story ideas from real life, what were his personal relationships like?

Dedicated to the fearless, fabulous females of women's lib!

I want this.

I guess this means it's Comic Book Romances of Liberated Women Week!

Freedom of Speech must be pre-approved

Don't let mysterious, uniformed enforcers of the status quo control the message.

Vote SLEESTAK for PRESIDENT!

Holiday Special: Invaders from the Ice World!

Nothing says Silver Age DC like world conquering aliens from outer space that just so happen to look like buildings, dogs, motor vehicles and even the occasional innocent snowman!

In Strange Adventures #79 (April 1957) the story "Invaders from the Ice World" is an entry typical of that era of DC. It has the familiar plot featuring a generic Science Detective going up against an invading force that uses technology far in advance of Earth, is invulnerable to brute force and atomic weapons, yet who are beaten back by wits, brains and sometimes simple parlor tricks.

It isn't a great story but it is serviceable enough and kind of fun. I enjoyed this particular issue more for the bizarre and incredibly awesome cover than anything else. The cover is far superior to the story itself, which is something that happened a lot in comic books, particularly in the Silver Age (check out any 1960s Neal Adams cover for many examples). It is a shame that the realities of today's diminished market doesn't allow a comic book company to just throw out any wacky thing they can and see if it sticks. Back when DC was the clear powerhouse market leader they could do just about anything they wanted and not worry overly much if it failed or not. Their business model was a sort of diversification and it showed in how many titles they launched. If one concept worked out, then great. If not, don't look back and move on to the next idea.

One thing that becomes evident in reading these stories is that the aliens of the Silver Age DCU are a superstitious and cowardly lot and only invade a world they can easily defeat by using their advanced and terrifying science. Aliens never try to seduce a population with ideology but rather just exploit American cold war fears. Every time they come up against the least amount of resistance they flee our part of the galaxy, never to return.

Read Invaders from the Ice World by laying a finger on the brim of the picture below!

Nearly as brilliant as Nazi Gorillas

A Dalmatian firing squad operating a crew-served weapon is nearly as brilliant a comic book concept as Nazi Gorillas or an elephant-mounted machine gun except the scene gets minus points for not actually appearing in the story.

Comic book cover disconnects and mis-leading teasers was going strong in the 1940s and is a vile marketing tactic that lasts to this day even if somewhat diminished due to the buying habits of the modern, savvy reader. The trick pulled here on the consumer is that the buyer, browsing the stands in the interval before the proprietor yelled that it wasn't a library, would purchase the book after quickly flipping through the pages and observing a similar scene in the interior. The original buyers of the Golden Age comic would have been satisfied that such a cool scene does indeed take place in the story and purchase it, only to be inevitably disappointed later when the magazine was read in full.

It would have been awesome if some dogs actually lined up some trouble-makers up against a wall and executed them but the villain only actually controlled the dogs enough to make them all bitey. What a waste of potential for awesomeness. Still, this panel and the cover featuring a dog army and Rover firing a machine gun at Captain Marvel Jr. are pretty nifty.

From Captain Marvel Jr. #95 (March 1951).

Fredric Wertham

Doctor.

Crusader.

Industry-killer.

Bogey Man.

Patsy.

Tasteful art collector.

Mary Marvel: Rode hard and put away wet

If anyone told me that DC couldn't manage to squeeze in an unconscious teen-age girl, an upskirt and a porn-face in just one page of a comic book I would have laughed and told them they underestimate the creative teams of today's funny books.

A few things to remember is that most of today's artists and fans are children of the Bad 90s and they expect a risque type of imagery. The other is that companies are so desperate to make a sale, any sale, that inappropriate sexual imagery is almost always added to any scene in a comic book (and movie, novel, advertisement, etc.) because it just may motivate that tiny percentage of the population to hand over some cash that otherwise they would not. It may be that teasing a small portion of consumers by using saucy poses is worth it to the bottom line because most of the stable audience of die-hard fans will ignore it in favor of reading and collecting a book in spite of the continuing negative portrayal of the sexes. Think of it like chocolate sprinkles on a ice cream sundae. To many people it doesn't hurt and may be seen as a value-added commodity.

As example, Mary Marvel in the recent issue of Countdown #22 (November 2007). After a battle, Mary is rendered unconscious or insensate and is drifting in space. For no reason at all the scene is sexily designed to show readers what is under her very short skirt. There were a lot of poses for Mary that the artists could have used but the "Am I a good girl, Daddy?" pose is the one they chose. Mary then begins to wake up. She is confused, disoriented and manages to shed a tear in the vacuum of space. Hey, it's comic book magic, don't sweat the how. Maybe she is mourning her lost innocence.
I don't know what artistic point the creators were going for by having a single tear run down the face of an unconscious teen-age girl wearing an adhesive mini-skirt and kinky-boots, but the scene is kind of familiar.

Maybe I'm reading too much into it, but Mary is another strong and capable female character with a rich history that is is knocked unconscious and portrayed as helpless, who then and wakes up disoriented with something wet spilling down her face. I think there are movies that start out like that. When will we see Batman in a similar panel layout and situation?

Ocean Liners in the Sky

Amazing Stories, June 1930

Science Wonder Stories, July 1929

Wonder Stories, December 1935

Captain carrot and the Final Ark #3, February 2008
Amazing Stories, December 1926


 Ad for Disney Cruise Lines. In San Diego, 94E and Federal, 10-8-10.


My homage to the classic "floating ship" pulp covers, November 2007

You can read about the 1935 pulp story and the famous Frank R. Paul cover of Dream's End (and even read the entire story) via this archived Lady, That's My Skull link.

Giant Golem vs. Giant Nazi Robot Dinosaur!

The Boy King was an exile from the Nazi-threatened land of Swisslakia who came to America to gather support and aid America in the fight against Hitler. Boy King fought spies and saboteurs that threatened America's security, using his wits, royal fortune and a skyscraper-sized Golem that only he could command. Strangely, the Boy King and American officials never considered using the Golem to step on and squish all the Nazis. Hitler and his cronies were not so innocent though and considered the Golem a potent obstacle in their goal of conquering the world. In order to defeat the Boy King and his statue the German High Command orders the construction of a similarly-sized weapon that would attack and defeat the Boy King before moving on to crush all American resistance. What they came up with was the obvious response: a Giant Nazi Dinosaur Robot.

In the Golden Age there was a whole lot of pulse-pounding content jam-packed in about 30 pages of art and story. In those days, decompression meant that was what the artist did in a bar after a long day of trying to get paid by a cheap publisher. There is plenty of non-stop action in this story. In Clue Comics #4 and #5, the heroic Boy King defends American shores from a giant robot, battles his arch-nemesis (a Nazi officer with extending prosthetics for hands who comes off kind of like one of the Robonic Stooges) not once but several times, fights an octopus, meets a cute girl and there is even a slow-moving death trap thrown in for good measure!

Jump into the fray by clicking the picture above.

Be prepared to freak out.

Thinking happy thoughts

Promo photos of Hayley Mills as Peter Pan for the J. M. Barrie stage play from 1969.

Happy Thanksgiving: The Revengening

The Eye Sees

In the December 1939 issue of Keen Detective Funnies debuted one of the most enigmatic super-heroes of the Golden Age of Comics. The issue featured the omnipotent character of THE EYE. The feature, titled The Eye Sees, was created by Frank Taylor and ran for a few years until the title suspended publication.

The Eye was a god-like creature of brutal retaliation and terrible justice. The supreme being that metes out revenge was a concept which became a recurring theme of the type of hero that would later be commonplace in comic books of the Golden Age and could be found in the form of such characters as the Specter, Stardust the Super-Wizard, Green Lantern and others.

The Frank Taylor creation was unusual in several respects, one being that it was one of the few characters that went without elaboration and readers never received an origin or back story. Another aspect of The Eye was that it was different from many other "heroes" in that it was very Old Testament when dealing with mortals. The Eye did not simply perceive wrongs and act to correct them from on high through improbable means. The Eye demanded unquestioning obedience from the people it deigned to assist and ordered them to do some actual field work to attain justice.

You can download and observe for yourself the debut story of The Eye Sees by zapping the picture with your lightnings.

Know your own mind!

More bad, dated advice from romance comic books written by old men with Mommy issues.

The illustration for #1 seems kind of odd, showing what I take to be the Mom walking off with two men.

From Love Problems and Advice, Illustrated #2 (August 1949).

I am, I said

There. Now you exist again and because of the internet can not be forgotten.

For the search engines: Murray P. Lorse, Connie Scheel, Bina Mortenson.

Various owner's book plate and inscriptions found in a copy of Nathaniel Hawthorne's Tanglewood Tales (Houghton, Mifflin and Co., 1883). Bought in a used book store in San Diego, California a few days ago.

Pulp Sleestak

The moment she walked into my office through the door I forgot the first rule of detective work: Never trust a beautiful dame. There was something about her. Something special and I could sense it right away. She came breezing in on a cloud of expensive French perfume, all blond and soft curves and sharp, high cheekbones. From the way she was dressed I could tell she could afford an entire team of private dicks so if she came to a skid row P.I. like me it could only be for two reasons: She was desperate and had a secret.

"I was referred to you by a mutual acquaintance, Mr. Sleestak. You come highly recommended as a person who could get things done quietly and with out fuss. I can't afford this problem to be a matter of public fodder for the gossip columns."

"Why don't we start with your name." I said. I didn't bother to correct her notion about keeping things quiet. A lot of my cases usually ended with a lot of noise. The kind of noise that comes from the business end of a gun. I motioned her to a chair and she reluctantly took a seat. She was high class, that was for sure. She was almost able to keep the expression of distaste of her angelic face as she settled onto the chair. I wasn't one for housecleaning. I was sure that this skirt would burn her dress the first chance she got.

"I'm Susan Evers." She said. I knew the name. The famous, or should I say infamous Evers Family had their fingers in all kinds of pies in this town. She was rich. Real rich. "My estranged sister is out to destroy the family."

"Go on." I urged her, taking another drink from the bottle of cheap bourbon I always keep on hand in my desk. I tipped the bottle towards her in a silent offer of a drink, but she ignored my gesture. My already high estimation of her went up a couple of notches.

"As you may know, my family does not always get along." Miss Evers began. "In fact, my parents divorced early and fought for controlling interests in the family holdings for decades. Since in the event of their passing the family money and business goes to us children, my sister and I where used as weapons by each parent to control the other. My mother and sister, Sharon, who is my exact twin by the way, moved to England shortly after the divorce. It is only recently come to my attention that Sharon has been attempting to take control of the business by undermining my influence."

Getting mixed up in family problems was always bad news for a detective. Too much emotion and not enough facts cloud the issue. I've seen this before. People say it's about right and wrong but in the end it always come down to one thing. Greed. I nodded. "So why come to me? This seems like more of a matter for a shyster and not a low-rent gumshoe."

"I wish I could use the courts, but all the lawyers are being manipulated and some of them are in on the plan. Sharon has already impersonated me a number of times and is always one step ahead of my own team. Sharon signs paperwork and makes appearances as me and if I attempt to reverse one of "my" decisions I look weak, foolish or ineffective to the board of directors. That plays right into Sharon's hands."

"Mr. Sleestak, The shareholder's meeting is in two weeks and for the first time in 20 years our parents will be living under the same roof for the duration. It was Sharon's idea that we all get together. We will all be one big "happy family" again until the proxy vote is over and I'm worried that Sharon has laid some kind of trap for our parents. My fear is that Sharon will take that opportunity murder them and me in order to take control of the family business."

She started to cry then, and dabbed delicately at her tears with a lace handkerchief. At that point I knew that little bit of cloth was the luckiest silk to ever be extruded from the bowels of a caterpillar. If I had one weakness it was when a dame starts with the waterworks. She looked up at me. "I need your help to get the proof I need to stop Sharon, Mr. Sleestak. Will you take the case?"

"Yesssss." I said. "Call me Slee."

See the original cover here.

If I told you what was going on here

...I'd have to incarcerate you award you the Medal of Freedom and give you cash and a free house. Because that's how innocent this all is and I'd hate for my actions to be misconstrued because someone leaked an image from a photo-op session before I was prepared to make the news public.

Suffice it to say that this official Sleestak for President photograph has nothing to do with the rumors of a Hayley Mills Celebratory North American Geosynchronous Orbiting Space Platform and everything to do with National Security for all of those honest, loyal, patriotic Americans who support America and all that is truly patriotic and Americanist.