Saturday, January 28, 2006

Groin Injury Saturday: Someday the bear gets you

In the Luna Brothers kind of icky follow-up title to the well done Ultra book of last year, the new issue of Girls gives readers what must be a comic book groin injury first. First, that is, outside of furry publications (which do not count as real comics).

Girls is the story of a group of trailer trash and rednecks who find themselves at the beachhead of an invading alien ecology. The best part of this series is that the townsfolk act much like I imagine people actually would behave in a similar situation. They run, cower, squabble and do selfish things. In panic, they also act real stupid.

In issue #9 of Girls a group of locals seeking a way out of the force field that has confined them to a small area around the town gets surprised by a curious bear.

The following scenes are hilarious*, as everyone attempts to apply all the bear attack survival techniques they learned from television and folk-wisdom. Of course, everything they know is wrong and the bear acts like a typical hungry predator.

As proof that cousins should not marry one of the group attacks the bear when everyone else played dead or ran away.

Now...bears are big animals that weigh alot. They have teeth and claws and can take a heck of a lot of punishment. It is something of a truism that shooting a bear will often serve only to enrage it. Bullets hurt and if they do not kill it, will make a bear very grouchy. So if small arms fire will not stop a big omnivore, what did this guy think he would accomplish by kicking it in the crotch?

Oh. "Suicide By Bear". That explains it.

* Yes, some of the word balloons were censored by me. Buy the book yourself if you want the cursing.

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