Friday, October 21, 2005

Brenda Starr - Bitch!

Brenda Starr went to the big city to break into reporting as a young girl. The newspaper biz was a man's game back in the day and she learned some hard lessons fast. When talent did not work, Brenda used her stunning good looks and evil small-town wiles to become rich and famous. Brenda Starr is not a nice person.

Brenda teases her obese friend Abretha Breeze.
I bet Brenda and Wonder Woman hang out together and make fun of fat people in the park.
Like Wonder Woman & Etta Candy, I suspect their relationship was in the "Hottie" and "Nottie" category.

Brenda's insane jealousy leads her to destroy other people's happiness.
"I don't want him...but you can't have him either!"

Brenda can scarcely contain her disgust.
Her "Nottie" friend will eat anything at her demand...including puppies!
I blame Brenda for fostering a disfunctional relationship.
"Sure..I'll be your friend..I'll look even better in comparison! Now eat this ham before we go out."

Brenda is not above using Abretha's need for companionship for her own personal amusement. Brenda loves to humiliate others and keeps a scrapbook of her successful debasements.
Brenda's hobbies include blackmail.

Brenda is momentarily shocked as the magic mirror reflects her true soul.
Then she dismisses the vision as unimportant because she is really hot and men give her stuff so that makes what she does to others okey-dokey in her world.

Brenda hates short people.

Watch that hand, Brenda!
Looks like somewhere between issue #6 and #12 Brenda learned some manners and human compassion.
Either that or she's just a manipulative predator taking advantage of someone in a moment of vulnerability.

So that's her secret! Extensive Cher-like cosmetic surgery!
Brenda is so shallow. Her self-worth is wrapped up in what she can parasitize from others.
No wonder she surrounds herself with people full of self-loathing...

the disfigured...

...and the diseased.

Men are her puppets.

Sex is her weapon.

Brenda laughs as she enjoys the emotional pain she inflicted after seducing and discarding a pretty, confused secretary just for kicks.
The couples' marriage will be forever tainted by the stain of Brenda's sexual machinations.
"I'm not a lesbian...but now her husband will always worry his wife is! Ha Ha!"

Can even Death stop Brenda?


  1. When he was just starting out as a cartoonist/artist, Mike Grell was Dale Messick's assistant on the "Brenda Starr" newspaper strip from 1972-73, inking bodies and backgrounds, spotting blacks, etc. Grell has said that if he ever writes his autobiography, it'll be called "Doing Brenda's Body". See for more.

  2. Thus began the "Brenda Starr is a Dick" website.

  3. A steam shovel giving a fat woman a wedgie. Sounds like the premise for a Japanese game show if I ever heard one.


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