Tuesday, December 05, 2006

DLE: Shiatsu Ball

I file this under "Stupid Crap My Wife Buys"in my mental DLE filing cabinet. Exercise is a good idea, it is healthy and keeps women looking fit and hot long after their useful years are over. But I had to categorize her purchase of a shiatsu ball as a DLE.

This yellow monstrosity was purchased by my wife, blown up by me and then used briefly by the wife for about 12 seconds. It now occupies a corner of our bedroom and she has never touched it again except to move it around out of the way during vacuuming. The ball itself is extremely painful to use due to the spikes that stud its' surface. If I had known that it hurt so much to use I would have had it returned for another model, but of course my wife said nothing for several weeks. Once I discovered that she would not be using the shiatsu ball I intended to swap it out but she is notoriously poor at retaining receipts and the store's return policy is draconian at best.

To make matters worse, unlike an exercise bike the shiatsu ball makes a poor clothes rack and the spiked "Nazi knobs" on the surface does not even lend the sphere to being used as a marital aid (you know what I mean). I can't sell it because who would buy it? It's initial cost precludes my frugal self from tossing it in the garbage. So I'm stuck with it and will have to haul the thing around with me whenever I move residences. The Shiatsu Ball also qualifies as Trend Ort.


  1. At least you could deflate it and shove it in the back of the closet or something.

    Thanks for posting that, though: my parents have one of those and I didn't realize until now that I had had no idea what it was.

  2. Cut it into strips and make a cat 'o nine tails with which to lash her for making the purchase.

    If, y'know, she's into that.

  3. My wife got one (non stubby variety). She sometimes sits on it when she's working at her desk. usually, my four-year-old plays with it though. Somehow, it's been sitting in my office for a month now.

  4. matthew e: Apparently you are single. If I deflate it she will insist that she will be using it.

    jon h: Um, no.

    jon: See? Just sits there.

    Maybe aq school could use it in the science class as a model of a T-Cell.

  5. Oh, sorry, I meant use it on Hayley.

    There's an exercise you can do with these things (usually the smooth ones) where you put it behind your back, between you and a wall, and bend your knees, so that your back rolls on the ball which rolls on the wall. It actually put a decent burn on my legs when I did it.

  6. Don't posting things like this on the internet qualify as DLE's if she finds out about them?

  7. My wife bought one of those too...she is now my ex-wife. DLE indeed.

  8. My wife has one very similar to that one, with knobs only blue. At first it hurt quite a bit to use it, then we inflated it more. Are you sure that you have it up to the right PSI?


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