Sunday, December 03, 2006

Only Six?

From Young Love #2 (November 1948) comes this feature detailing the six different kinds of man that the comic book-reading women of the era supposedly wanted as mates. As a public service I have translated the statements made by the man-hungry floating women heads from 1940's comic book subtext into what was actually meant.
The Outdoor Man: No matter how close to nature a man is, if he has functioning testicles there is no such thing as "clean and wholesome" and you are in fact counting on it.

The Possessive Man: "Every breath you take, every move you make, every bond you break, every step you take, I'll be watching you. Every single day, every word you say, every game you play, every night you stay, I'll be watching you. Every move you make, every vow you break, every smile you fake, every claim you stake...I'll be watching you."

The Boss: "Here, Gladys. Wear this leather mask and collar."

The Sophisticated Man: aka Guy With Money.

The Home-Loving Man: Wuss on a leash. Probably doesn't understand he shouldn't always be doing the laundry and the dishes.

The Trusting Man: Stunningly oblivious to your wanton cheating during sexy parties with gangs of strange men and women.


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